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So there’s this guy I really like. There seems to be very strong mutual attraction, but because of our schedules, we have been seeing each other about once a month over a 6-month period. Last time we got together, we had sex – the lack of momentum made it seem kind of weird to just go for it before that, as it kind of felt like we were getting to know each other all over again every time.
I’ve left the ball in his court, since he’s a sporadic communicator (literally told him I would really like to see him again, but I wasn’t going to be a pest and he could get in touch with me if he wanted to see me again).
Overall, we really “get” each other and enjoy each other’s company quite a bit, beyond the physical attraction. We’re also both very independent. I would really like it to be more than FWB and the foundation for something more seems to be there, but I’m not exactly looking for marriage, kids and a house, ya know?
But how do I interpret this? During our encounter (and in communications afterward) he paid me many compliments, which I took as sincere since he is not someone to say things he doesn’t mean. But he continually referred to my “beautiful face” while we were together. Not once or twice, but a lot.
I understand that looks can be very subjective, but objectively speaking my face is not beautiful. At all. I really like my face and I have a few very nice features, and my body type is highly appealing to some guys. But even my own father (Mr. Brutal Honesty) says I am simply “attractive,” but not pretty or beautiful. And that’s MY DAD. I’m not the type of woman that men hit on in a bar. Guys are attracted to my brain/attitude/body, and start thinking I’m beautiful a lot further down the road. NONE of them have ever been so fixated on my face.
I’ve dated a few men who were not at all conventionally attractive, and have found their faces to be simply gorgeous. But at that point in the relationship, I was pretty far gone down the love/affection spectrum.
So should I interpret his constant references to my “beautiful face” to mean that his feelings are stronger than I originally assumed? Or just that he has some off-beat tastes? And do you guys think I’ll hear from him again?
The drawn-out nature of the relationship is kind of throwing me off, and I suspect causing me to overthink stuff.
I don't believe you have much of a relationship... His compliment seems generic. You may not want the traditional whatever, but you do deserve more than sporadic communications. Don't sell yourself short. Guys who are into you aren't that standoffish.
I don't believe you have much of a relationship... His compliment seems generic. You may not want the traditional whatever, but you do deserve more than sporadic communications. Don't sell yourself short. Guys who are into you aren't that standoffish.
I like the chase That's always been my problem. He's a puzzle, and it keeps me entertained. Also, he has never set off my "BS" detector, which works pretty good. This is why I am so curious. It IS a generic compliment, but it was said in those moments where people are either out of their head or completely sincere.
This isn't a scenario where I'm going to get my heart broken - no worries on that score. But I do enjoy my time with him.
You need to see each other more than once a month for your relationship to develop into something serious. A whole month in between dates is too much and alot can happen during this time. How are you ever really going to get to know each other at this rate? This is why you are questioning if his compliments are genuine or not.
You said that he communicates sporadically, why is that? Even if your schedules don't mesh that well he should be able to call/text/email you regularly. How does he act when he is around you and treat you? He needs to do alot more than pay you compliments in order for your relationship to progress or last. If he cares about you, he needs to make your relationship more of a priority.
Last edited by Kaffegal05; 05-21-2012 at 07:29 PM..
Not to sound brutal - you saw him 6 x over a period of 6 months. In my books there is NO relationship. What happen with the rest of the month? Does he live in another part of the country? Is one of you traveling a lot and home once a month??
What do you know about him ( other than whatever he is telling you??) Maybe he is happily married with kids? Maybe he has a steady GF?
I don't think the compliment means he has strong feelings. Calling you and trying to see you a whole lot more often would indicate stronger feelings but not a compliment like that -- anyone could think you have a beautiful face, I'm sure he's being sincere enough, but that doesn't mean he has strong feelings or much of any kind of feelings.
So there’s this guy I really like. There seems to be very strong mutual attraction, but because of our schedules, we have been seeing each other about once a month over a 6-month period. Last time we got together, we had sex – the lack of momentum made it seem kind of weird to just go for it before that, as it kind of felt like we were getting to know each other all over again every time.
I’ve left the ball in his court, since he’s a sporadic communicator (literally told him I would really like to see him again, but I wasn’t going to be a pest and he could get in touch with me if he wanted to see me again).
. . .
The drawn-out nature of the relationship is kind of throwing me off, and I suspect causing me to overthink stuff.
Looks like both of you are euphoric about the potential but you definitely have scheduling issues. Has he since tried to make a date with you or another overture (sex)? That would be a good sign he wants pursue the possibility of a relationship further. It may sound crazy but sometimes sporadic hot sex can be the chemistry to make an LTR happen. Good Luck!
I probably misspoke by using the term relationship - it's not. We both go on dates with other people, and we haven't made any mention of exclusivity.
He's definitely not cheating on anyone he's living with, though there COULD conceivably be a gf. I've been to his house - no sign of a woman's touch there. Again, my BS detector has not gone off with anything he's said.
The scheduling - well until recently, he was working nearly 80 hours a week at two jobs for a significant period of time, while I regularly work 60-hour weeks and travel frequently for my job. His work situation recently improved, and I think he's been taking some time to himself and to reconnect with friends. I'm still pretty busy and had to turn down some of his invitations after we slept together. This may have discouraged him, but I also suggested other times and he didn't respond.
The lack of communication seems to be the big issue. It puzzles me. When we are together, to put it mildly, we get along like a house on fire, and that's before things even get remotely physical. We sometimes have interesting text exchanges, but I suspect he disappears because while our schedules are conflicting in between dates, some other woman will catch his eye and he starts to get a little more serious with her. Then it ends and he checks in with me, I'm thinking. I guess I would be insulted by this, but it's not like he was getting regular booty calls to keep him coming back for more. Though, heck, maybe finally getting to sleep with me killed the curiosity. I dunno - he SEEMED like he had a pretty darn good time and there was nothing remotely perfunctory about his enthusiasm.
Meh. I just wanted some thoughts on what could be going on. I suspect he is simply "into" me when it's convenient for him, but his behavior is odd to say the least. Or maybe he's one of those guys who is enamored with whatever woman he may be with at the time. In any case, I've put the burden of contact on him. If he does get in touch, we're going to have a little chat, I think.
So there’s this guy I really like. There seems to be very strong mutual attraction, but because of our schedules, we have been seeing each other about once a month over a 6-month period. Last time we got together, we had sex – the lack of momentum made it seem kind of weird to just go for it before that, as it kind of felt like we were getting to know each other all over again every time.
I’ve left the ball in his court, since he’s a sporadic communicator (literally told him I would really like to see him again, but I wasn’t going to be a pest and he could get in touch with me if he wanted to see me again).
Overall, we really “get” each other and enjoy each other’s company quite a bit, beyond the physical attraction. We’re also both very independent. I would really like it to be more than FWB and the foundation for something more seems to be there, but I’m not exactly looking for marriage, kids and a house, ya know?
But how do I interpret this? During our encounter (and in communications afterward) he paid me many compliments, which I took as sincere since he is not someone to say things he doesn’t mean. But he continually referred to my “beautiful face” while we were together. Not once or twice, but a lot.
I understand that looks can be very subjective, but objectively speaking my face is not beautiful. At all. I really like my face and I have a few very nice features, and my body type is highly appealing to some guys. But even my own father (Mr. Brutal Honesty) says I am simply “attractive,” but not pretty or beautiful. And that’s MY DAD. I’m not the type of woman that men hit on in a bar. Guys are attracted to my brain/attitude/body, and start thinking I’m beautiful a lot further down the road. NONE of them have ever been so fixated on my face. I’ve dated a few men who were not at all conventionally attractive, and have found their faces to be simply gorgeous. But at that point in the relationship, I was pretty far gone down the love/affection spectrum.
So should I interpret his constant references to my “beautiful face” to mean that his feelings are stronger than I originally assumed? Or just that he has some off-beat tastes? And do you guys think I’ll hear from him again?
The drawn-out nature of the relationship is kind of throwing me off, and I suspect causing me to overthink stuff.
Well you sleep with him, what pray tell do you think he's going to say about your face or anything else you got going on? Hint: It's going to be something good. Not showering you with compliments (fake or real) isn't going to score him any bonus points, now is it? Of course not.
Now if you already know you're face isn't a winner, I guess you can draw conclusions based on that.
edit: well people usually deduce what they want when it agrees accordingly, LOL. what else is new.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-21-2012 at 10:03 PM..
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That's always been my problem. He's a puzzle, and it keeps me entertained. Also, he has never set off my "BS" detector, which works pretty good. This is why I am so curious. It IS a generic compliment, but it was said in those moments where people are either out of their head or completely sincere. 
