Had a not so pleasant debate with a swinger/open sex marriage person (ladies, single)
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So, maybe had they let their wife go get some strange maybe the marriage would have remained intact in all the other aspects of commitment? pfhtt.....
Or maybe if the husband would have been more about THEM and not just him, she wouldn't have went to someone that understood that principle.
Honestly men, sex isn't over when the man orgasms, it's over when you are BOTH covered in sweat, half passed out, your legs are numb and won't work, and you both can think of nothing else but a nap, 'cause that's how damn tired you BOTH are.
The female orgasm is NOT a myth, nor is multiple orgasms for BOTH sexes.
As far as swinging, eh; not our thing, but it's not my call for others, since I'm not in the relationship.
Marriage is outdated. Sex is always contemporary. Fortunately, more people realize that.
I know other people have their different arrangements about marriage, fine that is their life no skin off my back. They don't have to associate with me, and I don't have to with them.
However real love and the ability to want to commit fully to one person exists, I know because one time in my life I was wanting and ready to do it. I t is the only time I was willing to marry, the only reason I would ever marry, for true love. Marrying for any other reason is superficial in my opinion.
It didn't work out for me with that one woman, so I live a single life that has involved sex and sorted commitment with girlfriends or flings instead but none that I felt real true love for so none I would marry just for the sake of getting married. I don't need somebody just to have somebody. It is my personal high standards that some might not agree with but so be it.
But yes the ability to commit to someone completely exists. So I dismiss the responses I have heard many times about how people don't have the ability to do so when you look at human nature and to try is outdated. People that defend open sex marriages try to paint it as it coming to reality about human relations and how the more accepted it is the better off people will be but to me the more people who try to make it more acceptable in society the more they are lowering the bar in society.
Lionking, I am a woman, and I totally agree with you. I find it sickening too that monagamy seems not even to matter to some. And it is getting worse and worse. You can see that by some of the reponses here. No one even cares. It's a 'what's the big deal' attitude. Lets just suck everyone's d---k and stick penises in whoever..yeahhh one great big orgy. And its because it's 2012 and we are so 'enlightened'. Yah!
So what you offended that guy, Lion. He has the right to do what he wants, and you have the right to say you dont like it. It's just your opinion..you arent lining him up and shooting him for it. You just stated your opinion. He will get over it once he and the missus go back home with some chick they picked up in the bar. Yeah..that's what I want my marriage to be like.
I also agree with the poster who said marriages/relationships like that probably involve ONE person who likes it, and the other person just goes along with it because they love that person. I bet that is the way it is for half of those 'open marriages' crap. Not all, but a decent amount. Sheesh..I want no part of that. Gosh where are the people who DONT want to bring home Tom, D-ick, Harry, Jane, Mary, John, Ringo, Paul, etc?? I feel it makes a joke of what a marriage is supposed to be.
Swingers or open marriage people will respond that that their marriage is not based on sex but some deeper more real soulful commitment and how it takes effort and much trust to be open to your special other being with others.
ok..........
To me though it means you didn't find the one that can fulfill all your needs, so you accepted 50% because you couldn't get 100%.
Ya know, there are threads where women or men complain about their s/o looking at a porn movie or something thinking that means they aren't totally capable or satisfied and not totally loyal.. I don't see it that way because there is a difference from occasional fantasy escape and actually acting out on them for real. I wouldn't feel threatened by my woman getting alone time sometimes with her drawer friend or some movie or whatever. However if she started saying she loves me but wants to bring home a occasional boytoy just to spice up or loves me but at 50 yrs old needs to fill her craving for some fetish sometimes for what she considers a stagnant relationship we would no longer be together......ever again. She would be free then to bring home Tom, Dick or Harry or all three if she wants then.
Swingers or open marriage people will respond that that their marriage is not based on sex but some deeper more real soulful commitment and how it takes effort and much trust to be open to your special other being with others.
ok..........
To me though it means you didn't find the one that can fulfill all your needs, so you accepted 50% because you couldn't get 100%.
Ya know, there are threads where women or men complain about their s/o looking at a porn movie or something thinking that means they aren't totally capable or satisfied and not totally loyal.. I don't see it that way because there is a difference from occasional fantasy escape and actually acting out on them for real. I wouldn't feel threatened by my woman getting alone time sometimes with her drawer friend or some movie or whatever. However if she started saying she loves me but wants to bring home a occasional boytoy just to spice up or loves me but at 50 yrs old needs to fill her craving for some fetish sometimes for what she considers a stagnant relationship we would no longer be together......ever again. She would be free then to bring home Tom, Dick or Harry or all three if she wants then.
There is a simple solution to this; separate love from having sex. If you can do that emotionally and maturely, then you will understand swingers. It isn't for everyone.
Swingers or open marriage people will respond that that their marriage is not based on sex but some deeper more real soulful commitment and how it takes effort and much trust to be open to your special other being with others.
ok..........
To me though it means you didn't find the one that can fulfill all your needs, so you accepted 50% because you couldn't get 100%.
I'm not trying to be mean but they probably don't care what you think. If people are happy with their lives - they don't care what other people think of them. If you don't approve of the lifestyle - simply don't partake in it. Swinging is definitely not for me - but there is no point in my judging others who live that way. It's hard for me to understand - but at the end of the day - I'm perfectly happy with my marriage and hope that they find the same happiness as well.
Quote:
Ya know, there are threads where women or men complain about their s/o looking at a porn movie or something thinking that means they aren't totally capable or satisfied and not totally loyal.. I don't see it that way because there is a difference from occasional fantasy escape and actually acting out on them for real. I wouldn't feel threatened by my woman getting alone time sometimes with her drawer friend or some movie or whatever. However if she started saying she loves me but wants to bring home a occasional boytoy just to spice up or loves me but at 50 yrs old needs to fill her craving for some fetish sometimes for what she considers a stagnant relationship we would no longer be together......ever again. She would be free then to bring home Tom, Dick or Harry or all three if she wants then.
It is totally fine that you feel that way. It sounds like you are terrified that every woman you get involved with is going to want to swing. Is that what this is about? Because otherwise I still can't understand why you would go out of your way to purposely start a fight and offend someone. However, fear often makes people lash out at others. I know some people make it seem like swinging is everywhere and that it's the new way of life but that is simply not true. Although there might be more swingers than we think - they are still a very small minority of the entire population. And the thing about relationships is that BOTH people have to be on the same page for it to work. So if you do get involved with someone that wants to swing - move on. Stop freaking out and stop lashing out. Live your life the way you want to and let others live their lives the way they want to. Judging them isn't going to change how they want to live their lives but it is going to drive you crazy.
I think that the operative question is "how would you like it if YOUR parents were doing it?" Something to think about.
There are a lot of things that I do that I wouldn't want my parents to do. There are a lot of things that my parents did that I don't want to think about.
I mean - you know how babies are made - right? Do you really LIKE to think about your parents doing that?
There are a lot of things that I do that I wouldn't want my parents to do. There are a lot of things that my parents did that I don't want to think about.
I mean - you know how babies are made - right? Do you really LIKE to think about your parents doing that?
Your mantra seems to be one-upping or casting a different light on everything I say. The last 2 sentences are ridiculous. Come on. Parents having sex to produce kids in a nuclear family is one thing. Parents having sex at group parties is off-the-charts, especially if they have, or plan to have, kids.
This is exactly why I ran the (now locked) political leanings correlation thread. There were quite a few liberals on there. I'm sure there are rabid churchgoers that swing, but I don't think it's the general rule.
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And its because it's 2012 and we are so 'enlightened'. Yah!
