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the ones that think everything has to be perfect in their lover. That they need to sweep them off their feet and be this way and that way. Are they just setting themselves up for major disappointment?
There is nothing wrong with a little romance and effort here and there. However, those who have watched too many romances and have an inflated opinion of themselves are pretty easy to identify and avoid early on. They are the type where nothing is ever good enough. The flowers you bought them are the wrong color, the restaurant you pick didn't cook the steak just right, the plane you hired to write "I love you" across the sky was not timed properly to coincide with the end of dinner, etc.
There is nothing wrong with a little romance and effort here and there. However, those who have watched too many romances and have an inflated opinion of themselves are pretty easy to identify and avoid early on. They are the type where nothing is ever good enough. The flowers you bought them are the wrong color, the restaurant you pick didn't cook the steak just right, the plane you hired to write "I love you" across the sky was not timed properly to coincide with the end of dinner, etc.
They are setting themselves up for a lot. Someone who approaches relationships as a hopeless romantic, without any analytical evaluation of the person or relationship is bound to be led by their emotions and not reality. Their emotions could have them overlook, ignore, or minimize big issues, problems, or pitfalls because they are "in love." Then they are surprised, disappointed, angry, etc, when the reality of those issues sets in, and things are not as rosy as they had dreamed they would be.
Thats not to dismiss hopeless romantics either, but just following your emotions is a far riskier approach.
This. It opens you up to manipulation, too. A guy can play the game of sweeping you off your feet, just to use you as a safety net; live in your house if you have one, live off you or off the generosity of your parents, etc. It happens. As Checkered said, a realistic view is needed. You can still be into true love, or whatever, but you have to keep a level head on your shoulders. You need to pay attention to your red flag meter, and not shut it off completely. That's one reason divorces happen; the woman, or both partners, are projecting stuff onto each other that isn't really there. Sooner or later, reality rears its head. It's ok to believe in love, but proceed with caution.
The infatuation stage, intense, butterflies....just takes over someone...they become hopeless whether they like it or not!"!! They may try and fight it, ignore it...but that heady, stomach churning, heart pounding, cannot be denied....or rationally explained. Why, do we FALL so desperately in love? Sometimes we start off, not even LIKING the person, then WHAM...fall in love, can't get that person out y hopeof your head, your heart lurches every time they come near.....yes, it has happened to me....and it is uncomfortable and alarming and amazing...all at the same time!
It is utterly romantic and completely irrational and hopeless......but what can you do????? sigh........
Sometimes we start off, not even LIKING the person, then WHAM...fall in love, can't get that person out y hopeof your head, your heart lurches every time they come near.....yes, it has happened to me....and it is uncomfortable and alarming and amazing...all at the same time!
Been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Even when I didn't really like the person, it was all the result of out of control sex and pheromones. And at one point, I actually liked being idealized and over valued because it enabled me to escape from reality for a brief period of time and actually think that I was the man that whatever woman I was with was infatuated enough to make herself - and consequently also me, believe.
Its a wild ride and exciting at times, but I have decided recently to get my life's excitement from something safer: jumping out of planes. Similiar effect but it wears off quickly, so you have to pack your chute and do it again. And I don't have to wake up next to a plane every morning and have it's wing wrapped around my body in an infatuation death-lock.
Most of the responses from men are messed up responses. Just because someone is a romantic that doesn't make them unrealistic and over demanding and such. What?
I 'd rather be involved with a romantic sweetheart who has the ability and want to cuddle and snuggle and kiss and stuff.
To me a non romantic is the cold heart who says "get off me" and pulls away when you try to snuggle and doesn't like to kiss much or go out for her guy sometimes and I have dealt with those cold heart types a couple times, briefly.
Seriously , what kind of world is it where you can't be nice to a point and openly show affection without it being a good deed and good emotion that gets punished for it?
Can't understand a woman who if she is given romance sometimes thinks it it is boring and the guy is no longer a challenge. No thanks to drama queens please.
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