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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:45 PM
 
4,054 posts, read 1,993,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
Yes it's the latter. And being well aware doesn't mean I have to like it. I accept it to an extent. She has mostly guy friends. But I get bothered by it sometimes.
So you're jealous. Dont marry someone who has a defining characteristic (that is probably a daily occurrence) that you cant stand.

I dont get faulting someone for something you're well aware of from day one (probably part of what drew you to her in the first place) and then marrying them. Was the hope that you would change the fact that she likes being the center of attention (is outgoing)?
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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
42,177 posts, read 48,615,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
Yes it's the latter. And being well aware doesn't mean I have to like it. I accept it to an extent. She has mostly guy friends. But I get bothered by it sometimes.
Here's the reality...you've been insecure about your wife for almost a year now since your move. Complicated Scenario

Time for you to sit down with a therapist for a few sessions and sort your feelings out instead of looking for validation on the internet.

You sound clingy and desperate - something most wives would find very unappealing.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:47 PM
 
146 posts, read 67,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1 View Post
I always felt that , too. (Slippery situations make people slip) but you've got to trust her to do the right thing should she be tempted. Is your relationship happy?
Yeah our relationship is really good. Me feeling she wants to go to the bar without me versus with me has put a little dent in it, but not much.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:49 PM
 
146 posts, read 67,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
So you're jealous. Dont marry someone who has a defining characteristic (that is probably a daily occurrence) that you cant stand.

I dont get faulting someone for something you're well aware of from day one (probably part of what drew you to her in the first place) and then marrying them. Was the hope that you would change the fact that she likes being the center of attention (is outgoing)?
No one is perfect. The things I love about her far outweigh this one thing that I don't like. We've been married 12 years so I've learned to accept it. But sometimes certain situations arise that bother me.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:50 PM
 
146 posts, read 67,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Here's the reality...you've been insecure about your wife for almost a year now since your move. Complicated Scenario

Time for you to sit down with a therapist for a few sessions and sort your feelings out instead of looking for validation on the internet.

You sound clingy and desperate - something most wives would find very unappealing.
Can I exclude you from responding to my threads? Every time I speak your advice is therapy.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:55 PM
 
4,054 posts, read 1,993,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
No one is perfect. The things I love about her far outweigh this one thing that I don't like. We've been married 12 years so I've learned to accept it. But sometimes certain situations arise that bother me.
Your wife being outgoing shouldn't be a negative thing (and like I said is probably part of the reason you were attracted to her in the first place) it's better than her being antisocial and wanting to sit in the house all the time.

People who like attention and social situations cant just turn that off...even if you're going out of town.

Like I said I am on a trivia league (plays at bars) and I go out with or without my boyfriend. He knows I talk to all sorts of people there, he also knows those people know him as well and that I respect our relationship. If she is flirty and not respecting your relationship that's a problem her going out and being social is not.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 01:59 PM
 
900 posts, read 735,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
No one is perfect. The things I love about her far outweigh this one thing that I don't like. We've been married 12 years so I've learned to accept it. But sometimes certain situations arise that bother me.
I feel for you. I think boundaries is the word. What do you think is acceptable , what do you think is unacceptable? Don't tell her what to do , but communicate your point of view. You seem like a good man. Im glad she respected your feelings and decided not to go alone.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
42,177 posts, read 48,615,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
Can I exclude you from responding to my threads? Every time I speak your advice is therapy.
If my advice is indeed "therapy" then I suggest you keep listening.

Though I do understand that the truth is hard to hear sometimes
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Unread 05-17-2012, 02:22 PM
 
146 posts, read 67,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
If my advice is indeed "therapy" then I suggest you keep listening.

Though I do understand that the truth is hard to hear sometimes
Wow that is rather pompous of you don't you think? When someone's answer to EVERYTHING is the SAME THING, I think their credibility takes a hit. It's not just me you've suggested therapy to.

This is really a lot simpler than you want to make it out to be. My wife and I have a very good relationship. We have been married for 12 years and have two wonderful kids. Some people ignore situations in a relationship that bother them. I don't. I always want to get it out in the open and talk about it. My wife is not as communicative as I am in these situations. Usually when I post to this board it's after I've already discussed it with her. In most cases we are able to work it out, but I analyze things very deeply and look for the why more than the what. That's why I come on here to sort of vent. And to see if others on here feel the same about things that I do. It's that simple. Nothing more, nothing less.

So your answers of "seek therapy or else" or really worthless to me. I'm not looking for someone to tell me what to do. My self-esteem is far to high for me to think some armchair psychologist on this board is the answer to my problems. So you can continue to respond in this way, but I can tell you now that it's a waste of your time.
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Unread 05-17-2012, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
42,177 posts, read 48,615,726 times
Reputation: 33367
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
Wow that is rather pompous of you don't you think? When someone's answer to EVERYTHING is the SAME THING, I think their credibility takes a hit. It's not just me you've suggested therapy to.

This is really a lot simpler than you want to make it out to be. My wife and I have a very good relationship. We have been married for 12 years and have two wonderful kids. Some people ignore situations in a relationship that bother them. I don't. I always want to get it out in the open and talk about it. My wife is not as communicative as I am in these situations. Usually when I post to this board it's after I've already discussed it with her. In most cases we are able to work it out, but I analyze things very deeply and look for the why more than the what. That's why I come on here to sort of vent. And to see if others on here feel the same about things that I do. It's that simple. Nothing more, nothing less.

So your answers of "seek therapy or else" or really worthless to me. I'm not looking for someone to tell me what to do. My self-esteem is far to high for me to think some armchair psychologist on this board is the answer to my problems. So you can continue to respond in this way, but I can tell you now that it's a waste of your time.
I did not say "seek therapy or else"

I said you've been having insecurity issues in your marriage for about a year now and so it seems to me like it's time to talk to a therapist for a few sessions to work through your feelings.
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