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Old 05-17-2012, 12:44 PM
 
146 posts, read 83,423 times
Reputation: 71
Default Wife going out alone

So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. We've been going there for about 3 months now. My wife is very personable and has become friends on FB with the bartender, karaoke host, and at least one of the "regulars". All of them are men. Now one week when my wife had to work in the evening on a Wednesday we switched our night out to Tuesday. So next week I'm going to be out of town Wednesday through Sunday. So she told me that she talked to the bartender about being up there by herself next week, so he said that she could just refer any guys lurking to him and he'd take care of it. The bartender is a cool guy and I talk to him often as well. I suggested that we just change our night out to Tuesday again so that we could go together. She said something about being a creature of habit and preferring Wednesdays.

Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me?
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Old 05-17-2012, 12:47 PM
 
4,231 posts, read 2,630,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. We've been going there for about 3 months now. My wife is very personable and has become friends on FB with the bartender, karaoke host, and at least one of the "regulars". All of them are men. Now one week when my wife had to work in the evening on a Wednesday we switched our night out to Tuesday. So next week I'm going to be out of town Wednesday through Sunday. So she told me that she talked to the bartender about being up there by herself next week, so he said that she could just refer any guys lurking to him and he'd take care of it. The bartender is a cool guy and I talk to him often as well. I suggested that we just change our night out to Tuesday again so that we could go together. She said something about being a creature of habit and preferring Wednesdays.

Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me?
No you shouldn't. The bartender, regular and karaoke guys all see you with her week in and week out and since they are friends with her on Facebook, understand that she's your wife.

You have nothing to worry about unless she has given you reason to worry from past actions.
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Old 05-17-2012, 12:48 PM
 
7,826 posts, read 4,792,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. We've been going there for about 3 months now. My wife is very personable and has become friends on FB with the bartender, karaoke host, and at least one of the "regulars". All of them are men. Now one week when my wife had to work in the evening on a Wednesday we switched our night out to Tuesday. So next week I'm going to be out of town Wednesday through Sunday. So she told me that she talked to the bartender about being up there by herself next week, so he said that she could just refer any guys lurking to him and he'd take care of it. The bartender is a cool guy and I talk to him often as well. I suggested that we just change our night out to Tuesday again so that we could go together. She said something about being a creature of habit and preferring Wednesdays.

Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me?
Probably. Go with your gut on this one.
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Old 05-17-2012, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Dallas
574 posts, read 462,037 times
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Scooter Im not married so you can take this with a grain of salt if you want. If you thought your wife was the type of girl that would go to a bar and bang a bartender while being in a relationship with you why would you want to marry her or if she does do it why would you want to still be married to her. If you can trust them for me whats the point of being with them.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:07 PM
 
Location: NY
6,098 posts, read 5,071,068 times
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No way for me to honestly answer without seeing the interactions going on there. However, you are there every week with her. You see how she acts and reacts around the guys she has friended. Are they just some guy acquaintances with the bar as a common association? Is she flirty with them, or does she act attracted? Do you have reason to be suspicious of her intentions of going alone to the bar?

I suspect she just likes singing there on Wed nights, it is the usual routine, and she doesn't want to miss out just because your out of town. That might be perfectly innocent, and ok, and nothing for you to be concerned over.

However, you would know far better than any of us.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:17 PM
 
146 posts, read 83,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steve1282 View Post
Scooter Im not married so you can take this with a grain of salt if you want. If you thought your wife was the type of girl that would go to a bar and bang a bartender while being in a relationship with you why would you want to marry her or if she does do it why would you want to still be married to her. If you can trust them for me whats the point of being with them.
I have no worry that she will "bang the bartender". I trust her that she will not be unfaithful to me. I just think that she will enjoy the extra attention she might get up there by herself versus with me. We are all human and thus are prone to enjoy attention from the opposite sex.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:19 PM
 
4,231 posts, read 2,630,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
I have no worry that she will "bang the bartender". I trust her that she will not be unfaithful to me. I just think that she will enjoy the extra attention she might get up there by herself versus with me. We are all human and thus are prone to enjoy attention from the opposite sex.
Attention never killed anyone (or anyone's spouse for that matter). Seems like you might be a little jealous or controlling (which in small doses is fine) but if your wife is faithful, you shouldn't worry about her going out solo.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:21 PM
 
146 posts, read 83,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
No way for me to honestly answer without seeing the interactions going on there. However, you are there every week with her. You see how she acts and reacts around the guys she has friended. Are they just some guy acquaintances with the bar as a common association? Is she flirty with them, or does she act attracted? Do you have reason to be suspicious of her intentions of going alone to the bar?

I suspect she just likes singing there on Wed nights, it is the usual routine, and she doesn't want to miss out just because your out of town. That might be perfectly innocent, and ok, and nothing for you to be concerned over.

However, you would know far better than any of us.
She does not act flirty or like she's attracted. She is just friendly with them. I don't think she has any intentions other than the attention she might get from being alone.

The problem is that I feel like trouble in a relationship can often grow from something innocent like this. For example since she's up there by herself she talks more with one of the guys and they get to know each other a little better. I don't think anybody is immune from cheating. I've always felt the best way to avoid cheating is avoiding situations.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:21 PM
 
7,826 posts, read 4,792,221 times
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I'm not the overly possessive type, but this one just doesn't sit right. Creature of habit? That's all she's got for why she has to go alone?
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
6,322 posts, read 4,066,020 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter1967 View Post
So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. We've been going there for about 3 months now. My wife is very personable and has become friends on FB with the bartender, karaoke host, and at least one of the "regulars". All of them are men. Now one week when my wife had to work in the evening on a Wednesday we switched our night out to Tuesday. So next week I'm going to be out of town Wednesday through Sunday. So she told me that she talked to the bartender about being up there by herself next week, so he said that she could just refer any guys lurking to him and he'd take care of it. The bartender is a cool guy and I talk to him often as well. I suggested that we just change our night out to Tuesday again so that we could go together. She said something about being a creature of habit and preferring Wednesdays.

Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me?

If you and your wife are familiar with the saying, "Don't sh*t where you eat", then you have nothing to worry about. She probably wants to go on Wednesdays because maybe that night is more fun than Tuesdays. You said every Wed is karaoke so what's happening on Tuesday? If Tuesday is just a boring night then I'd rather go on Wednesday instead.
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