Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do not believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater". People can make really big mistakes and learn from them. I'm not going to say it's not a huge betrayal- it is, but people can successfully work through it. It does take a lot of work, though. Sometimes the marriage even ends up stronger after the work because it forces both people to completely open their eyes to how and why the situation happened and seriously look at things that need major repair.
I want to know how cheating is a mistake? Not that I'd get married in the first place, but being married 20-30 years and saying you'll forgive cheating seems backwards to me. Being married that long, I'd find getting cheated on ever more offensive, screw getting over it. Just because you've been married so long, you have to forgive and let it go? This person is supposed to be with you for the rest of your life, or do I not understand how marriage is supposed to work. Those not married or in a committed relationship can say the hell with it, it doesn't matter, being married 10,15,20+ years and getting cheated on and forgiving doesn't make sense at all to me. That's a hell of a betrayal.
I want to know how cheating is a mistake? Not that I'd get married in the first place, but being married 20-30 years and saying you'll forgive cheating seems backwards to me. Being married that long, I'd find getting cheated on ever more offensive, screw getting over it. Just because you've been married so long, you have to forgive and let it go? This person is supposed to be with you for the rest of your life, or do I not understand how marriage is supposed to work. Those not married or in a committed relationship can say the hell with it, it doesn't matter, being married 10,15,20+ years and getting cheated on and forgiving doesn't make sense at all to me. That's a hell of a betrayal.
Like I said earlier, it's really not anyone's place to tell someone what they should do or even how they should feel if this were to happen. Infidelity is not necessarily a dealbreaker for everyone. For me, personally, if we've been married for twenty happy years and she comes to me with a confession that she has cheated, I can't see myself throwing away my marriage.
Relationships don't come with a handbook. Everyone is different.
Relationships don't come with a handbook. Everyone is different.
True some people can work it out while others can't. A confession would be better than if you had to actually find out elsewhere or literally caught them. In a way it explains that they're really feeling terrible and are giving you the chance to make a decision of whether to stay or not.
Maybe I'm just young but for now I'm sticking to my point of never taking back a cheater.
I think everyone has the potential to cheat given the right circumstances and variables. Now some people are more prone than others, but I think the circumstances dictate if a person is worthy of another chance. Here's the thing having been cheated on by every man I ever loved I have come to the conclusion that a second chance is just a pass to cheat. I hope yall have had better luck at love than I
break the trust with me and never have a chance again. i dont see why i should. it goes beyond the physical act and deeper into a persons motivations and expectations.
My H cheated on me with his mother and brother as co-conspirators. They planned and lied behind my back to tell me H's mother was dying and he had to come home to say goodbye. I was busy making cookies for his trip while he was planning his extra curricular activities. After 30some years of marriage, I was clueless. I had NO idea.
I forgave him and I shouldn't have. I did forgive the act but I never forgot and I also lost a lot of respect for him and his family. It should have ended then.
A second chance, usually yes. A third chance hell no.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
