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Once you learn to talk and communicate with a woman you find they are just like you with the same fears and phobias. When you learn to relax around women and how to communicate, your success in dating increases tremendously.
OP another secret.... all the guys hit on the hot girl. Look past her at the her friend who's a little more plain and not quite as pretty. Those are the ones with personalities, appreciate the attention of a guy and usually much better in bed.
Trust me, I know.
There are many women who may not be the prettiest but have sexy bodies! Women with gorgeous faces don't have a monopoly on nice bodies, though the media would have us believe differently.
The guys who put women on a pedastal are relegated to friends and used for errands and to build self esteem,while the guys who Don't actually score
Women who are really hot are used to getting attention from men and take it for granted so it means nothing when men give it to them. I consciously don't give women like this a lot of attention for that reason.
Good advice. Also, for guys who cant get over their fears, talk to girls you are not attracted to, because there is nothing for you to lose. If you do talk to a woman you are attracted to however, dont forget to be direct and show your intentions right away, or else you may end up in the dreaded friend zone forever.
The thing about this fear of approaching women that many guys have, is that it isnt very rational at all. Remember, ladies are mostly feminine, often displaying fear and vulnerability themselves and are usually nowhere near as confrontational as men. Be fearless and direct.
I don't agree with the whole talking to girls you're not attracted to approach. I think the best way to get over the fear is for guys to go talk to women they think are ridiculously hot. If you see a girl and say "man she looks too good for me" shake your head and say "**** it" and go talk to her. After a while you won't be afraid to talk to anyone, sure you'll get rejected more times than not, but who cares, it's a numbers game and everyone gets rejections.
Last edited by Keeper; 05-22-2012 at 08:37 AM..
Reason: do not bypass the filter
I don't agree with the whole talking to girls you're not attracted to approach. I think the best way to get over the fear is for guys to go talk to women they think are ridiculously hot. If you see a girl and say "man she looks too good for me" shake your head and say "**** it" and go talk to her. After a while you won't be afraid to talk to anyone, sure you'll get rejected more times than not, but who cares, it's a numbers game and everyone gets rejections.
I completely agree with you, but sometimes its a good first step for guys with these types of anxieties. I'm the same way, I look for the hottest female in my surroundings and approach her right away. Being direct and clear in your intentions, goes a long way as well.
It is mostly about putting women on a pedastal. The guys who are the least successful with women put them and sex on some mythological level that is unreachable and it essentially psyches them out. That's why theyre scared to talk to them or approach them.
But when You STOP putting them on a pedastal your not scared of them reacting badly or rejection, giving yourself more confidence, thus having more success
okay. so we agree to disagree. no problem. everyone's entitled to have their opinion.
my whole point is: giving women RESPECT is not putting them on a pedestal. when you RESPECT that women have the SAME right as you to date and talk to whoever they darn well please, then no your not scared of rejection. you approach knowing that this could go either way, because she has the right to choose. women are not obligated to accept any man that shows them some attention, just like your not obligated to accept any woman who shows you some attention.
why is it that SOME-not all-but SOME obviously feel that women should be glad to have ANY man talk to them and that we should thus show our appreciation for that attention by dating any and every man that approaches us?
now when we do that, we're considered of little value and recieve no respect. but, if we don't and we decide to exercise our right to choose, then we're accused of thinking too much of ourselves and wanting to be put on a pedestal. and god forbid that we actually have-dare i even think it?-STANDARDS OR A PREFERENCE!
i'm going to do what works for me and forget what everybody else is talking about. people are going to say and think whatever they want, regardless of what you do.
okay. so we agree to disagree. no problem. everyone's entitled to have their opinion.
my whole point is: giving women RESPECT is not putting them on a pedestal. when you RESPECT that women have the SAME right as you to date and talk to whoever they darn well please, then no your not scared of rejection. you approach knowing that this could go either way, because she has the right to choose. women are not obligated to accept any man that shows them some attention, just like your not obligated to accept any woman who shows you some attention.
why is it that SOME-not all-but SOME obviously feel that women should be glad to have ANY man talk to them and that we should thus show our appreciation for that attention by dating any and every man that approaches us?
now when we do that, we're considered of little value and recieve no respect. but, if we don't and we decide to exercise our right to choose, then we're accused of thinking too much of ourselves and wanting to be put on a pedestal. and god forbid that we actually have-dare i even think it?-STANDARDS OR A PREFERENCE!
i'm going to do what works for me and forget what everybody else is talking about. people are going to say and think whatever they want, regardless of what you do.
Everyone deserves to be respected and I think that's a very serious misconception that people have. Just because you give respect to a woman does not mean you're being her pet or putting her on a pedestal. The real problem is that many guys go way overboard and it is beyond respect and it is them chopping off their balls, throwing out any self respect they might have and just looking downright pathetic. Women will see that and just take advantage of them, but never want anything to do with them.
If you think about it, why would anyone want to date someone who can't respect themselves?
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Women with gorgeous faces don't have a monopoly on nice bodies, though the media would have us believe differently.
