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As someone who has ridden bikes all my life, I can honestly say I'd tell my wife to **** off if she wanted me to sell it. .
Wow. The fact that you would tell your WIFE to **** off completely discredits your post; I mean, who could believe that anyone would listen to any relationship advice from someone who could talk this way?
Btw, I have a bike, too.
The op is hearing from people with bikes and without bikes. He is being short-sighted and even though I also think the wife is being a little unreasonable, I have lived with a pregnant woman. What they want is support, comfort, understanding, and reassurance. Not someone to tell them to **** off.
The answer to this op is that he should be very prepared for his life to change A LOT. He should reassure his wife. He should wait for a better moment, and then discuss compromise calmly and cooly.
Not turn into a bratty 8 year-old who insists it's his way or the highway.
Guess what? Marriage is about change, compromise, growing together, growing up, changing lifestyles, trying new adventures...not just something you bail on when you are feeling bratty.
Wow. The fact that you would tell your WIFE to **** off completely discredits your post; I mean, who could believe that anyone would listen to any relationship advice from someone who could talk this way?
Btw, I have a bike, too.
The op is hearing from people with bikes and without bikes. He is being short-sighted and even though I also think the wife is being a little unreasonable, I have lived with a pregnant woman. What they want is support, comfort, understanding, and reassurance. Not someone to tell them to **** off.
The answer to this op is that he should be very prepared for his life to change A LOT. He should reassure his wife. He should wait for a better moment, and then discuss compromise calmly and cooly.
Not turn into a bratty 8 year-old who insists it's his way or the highway.
Guess what? Marriage is about change, compromise, growing together, growing up, changing lifestyles, trying new adventures...not just something you bail on when you are feeling bratty.
Maybe op didn't realize that, either.
why gasping in horror, pretty sure he's not the only man would tell his wife such if she asked him to sell one of is prize possessions. Really.
why gasping in horror, pretty sure he's not the only man would tell his wife such if she asked him to sell one of is prize possessions. Really.
Because I talk to my wife politely and with respect.
Unless I am teasing her.
And I have never once used a swear word towards her.
And I will never be able to wrap my head around anyone who does differently. That's supposed to be the number one person in your life. Your best friend and partner. Not your enemy, your punching bag, etc.
And I would never pick a motorcycle over my wife. That's just asinine.
You are not getting what your wife is getting. That life is over. You will have a whole new normal after the baby is born and there will be very little bike riding and bars if any. Do you not get that a baby will drain your finances...that a baby takes time....that a baby will cut into your sleep...that if/when you ever do go to events you'll now be an infrequent attender and not a regular? Do you not get that changes everything?
Do you, really, not get that your life is going to be work, bottles, diapers and sleepless nights for a long time to come? Sorry dude but riding a bike doesn't fit in there and won't for a long time to come.
This is a little dramatic in my opinion. They are having ONE baby, not a litter full. One baby doesn't change life that much. My whole life wasn't bottles, diapers and sleepless nights and our finances weren't drained. We have 4 close in age (5.5 yrs between the oldest and youngest) and we manage to live a fairly normal, balanced life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman
You'll be fine but I'm surprised you and your wife waited this long to have children though, that's kind of strange. How old are you two anyway?
Did you not READ any of the thread, even the first post??? He said the pregnancy was UNplanned, meaning they weren't considering a child until they were surprised with this one. He also mentioned their ages in a subsequent post.
I know what you are getting at, it's the theme of a lot of your posts. You want to be married young and have a family young. Not everyone feels their lives need to take a similar path though and there is nothing wrong with that either. It's not strange that they didn't pop out kids after they said "I do" but a complete stranger questioning their timeline IS strange.
i just simply dont see it reasonable to sell my harley and am scared that if her current train of thought stays for the long term that i've lost that person who i had so much in common with before the pregnancy ? Ur post shows that someone else out there is non negotionable unless absolutely nessassary on giving up his or her passions in life !!
J4F, I don't recall anyone telling you to sell your bike, I certainly didn't. I said negotiate, and be prepared to give up anything else just to keep your bike. You can still ride it to work, and take it out for a weekend spin from time to time, hopefully. But some of the posters have a point--your safety is even more important now than before. Keep that bike and tires in tip-top shape.
Once the baby arrives, you may find that you have something new in common with your wife--the baby, and your love for it. For now, you'll have to take that on faith, and do what you can to support your wife. Pregnancy is a HUGE DEAL (be glad it isn't you going through 9 months of that, and then spending hours in labor, giving birth!), the hormonal changes change a person's psychology. Just do your best to go with the flow, and see if your outlook changes after the baby is born. Get back to us. We'll be here. In the meantime, try to mellow out, and talk to your wife. Communication is key.
Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? You should be out shopping for cigars to hand out.
What does she think you will do at these functions without her ... lol !
You're "not allowed," She owns you ?? I feel bad for you, that's just sad ... Marriage is a partnership, not an ownership ... It sounds as though you're not happy and perhaps you both need to sit and discuss this now before it gets worse ... possibly even marriage counseling. I can not even imagine someone telling me what I am allowed and not allowed to do.
There's a good idea ^^^ , counseling. Why does she object to the biker events, are there babes there? I still think some of this may be hormonal, though.
What does she think you will do at these functions without her ... lol !
You're "not allowed," She owns you ?? I feel bad for you, that's just sad ... Marriage is a partnership, not an ownership ... It sounds as though you're not happy and perhaps you both need to sit and discuss this now before it gets worse ... possibly even marriage counseling. I can not even imagine someone telling me what I am allowed and not allowed to do.
Let's remember - those might be the op's words in summation of what his wife said. It may not be what she really said.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImCurlybelle
"im not allowed at biker events without her"
What does she think you will do at these functions without her ... lol !
You're "not allowed," She owns you ?? I feel bad for you, that's just sad ... Marriage is a partnership, not an ownership ... It sounds as though you're not happy and perhaps you both need to sit and discuss this now before it gets worse ... possibly even marriage counseling. I can not even imagine someone telling me what I am allowed and not allowed to do.
Good time to remind everyone that a marriage license is NOT a bill of sale.
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