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Well, my point was that I wouldnt have made that choice, so Im just sharing my opinion. If it works for the OP, than he should go for it. I wouldnt because Im not a sucker. Observe other mamals when it comes to fathering young ones. A male lion for example, will very often kill other males young pups without hesitation. Humans are mamals. You just have been brainwashed and socialy conditioned all of your lives, to sound PC.
It may not be related to the topic, but why was the ex there? Was it one of the kids' birthdays or special event? Other than that, I don't see why the ex would need to be around unless it involved one of his kids. My theory is it's better for the exes to get along and be civil rather than drama. It's also good for the ex to get to know you and make sure you're a "good guy". I agree it may have been uncomfortable but if you continue your relationship (sounds like you really, REALLY like this woman) then you will be around the ex more often so you'll have to get used to him.
I just hope he isn't the type that shows up unannounced all the time and just lets himself in.
Ok so you sound like the one whose brain needs washing.
Humans are a tad more enlightened than "other mammals." How many "other mammals" do you see on the Supreme Court?
Not all stepdads "eat their young," so to speak. Many stepparents can - and do -- become very close to their new spouse's kids.
Don't judge what you don't know about.
You would be surprised how similar humans and other animals act. These are biological and non-conscious animal instincts. And no my brain doesnt need washing...well maybe...but not for the reasons you may think.
I think it just takes time to be comfortable with someone else's family and friends. It would be a lot worse if the ex was some jerk who caused drama all the time. Sounds like things just didn't work out between them and they're able to be civil and now she really loves YOU. I wouldn't let this be a deal breaker.
Wow, expect and Ascension, you two sure are smug, assuming that your life will always go the way YOU planned it. I certainly hope you don't turn out to be the "deadbeat" who has children then ends up divorced.
The OP made NO such judgmental statements about his GF or her kids. He obviously has more experience with women than you, since you judge them by the state of their uterus.
OP, your feelings are natural. I think it was a poor choice by your GF to have the ex/dad present the first time you meet her family.
But I can tell you that these situations can and do work out. One side of my family was a friendly bunch of half-, in-laws and step-relatives. My grandmother, who usually hosted the family gatherings, set the tone by welcoming everyone. I think that you should continue your mature approach. Remember that the ex is the children's father and plays a hugely important role to them, while you are their mom's choice.
most of them end up deadbeats anyways; the same ones that are putting the women down or whatever. don't know why some of these try to act so 'high and mighty' about it.
how are we acting "high and mighty" when all we've said is that we wouldn't do it?
i didnt say i wouldnt do it because i'm 'better' than men who willingly raise other men's kids. i said i just wouldn't. people getting upset because maybe they come from broken homes or they're single mothers or have raised other men's kids.
theres nothing you can say to me that will make it 'ok' for me to raise another man's offspring. like that guy getting riled up saying my reasoning "takes us back to the 1600's." he's saying this from an emotional not rational standpoint, having admitted getting with a woman who got pregnant by a man 3 times and then he left her. hes reacting emotionally to what i said, not objectively.
logic >>>> emotion. it doesnt make logical sense to get with someone with that kind of mileage. get a new uterus to plant ur seed in. lower odds of complications, feel better about urself, raise only the children you created etc
how are we acting "high and mighty" when all we've said is that we wouldn't do it?
i didnt say i wouldnt do it because i'm 'better' than men who willingly raise other men's kids. i said i just wouldn't. people getting upset because maybe they come from broken homes or they're single mothers or have raised other men's kids.
theres nothing you can say to me that will make it 'ok' for me to raise another man's offspring. like that guy getting riled up saying my reasoning "takes us back to the 1600's." he's saying this from an emotional not rational standpoint, having admitted getting with a woman who got pregnant by a man 3 times and then he left her. hes reacting emotionally to what i said, not objectively.
logic >>>> emotion. it doesnt make logical sense to get with someone with that kind of mileage.get a new uterus to plant ur seed in. lower odds of complications, feel better about urself, raise only the children you created etc
I'm not upset because I had a single mother, she passed away last year and did more sh*t for her children in her 5 years then most men do for theirs in a lifetime. Fact. If I had the choice, I'd choose the same situation all over again, so you're wrong there.
The way you made this woman sound is as if you are better then her, if that's what you think then so be it. It's not just because you wouldn't get into that situation....Examples: Get yourself "a new uterus to plant your seed in" It's unnatural for man to raise another man's child. Are you serious with that?? Ugh. I agree you should absolutely avoid raising anybody's offspring.
The male of some mammal species eat their own young, if mamma doesn't chase him away. I don't think the OP is worried about what animals do, nor is the object of his affection.
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