Fellas, Why do men trash their ex-girlfriends??? (date, marry, girl)

[D217]

Originally Posted by gallowsCalibrator

All in all, it comes down to: Why do people trash their ex's? Because they are seeking validation and/or attention.

Completely agree.

[CuriousBystander]

It strikes me that people might do something like this in an effort to punish the other person, i.e., you rejected and hurt him so now he's going to try to bad-mouth and hurt you. It could also be a case where he's subconsciously trying to convince himself that he doesn't still want you by making you sound bad to others. That last may be a little less likely, but not impossible.

At any rate, the fact that you had the strength and desire to leave and did so with a clean break says good things for you. As others have said, ignore him and move on with your life, which you are already probably doing. If the people whom he's trying to negatively influence don't already know that he's an angry, vengeful jerk, chances are they will soon, although I don't recall that you mentioned any problems with that.

Finally, given that I can't imagine that it was easy to leave even if there were problems, I'd probably be somewhat pleased and relieved to have that decision ever further validated by his deplorable behavior.

[FromTN2A2]

Thank you all for your responses. As I see, there could be multiple reasons the ex has been bashing me. Who knows? The most important thing is the most popular opinion is to do and say nothing to him or anyone else. This is what I have been doing up until this point and I suppose I will continue. Thank you all for your time and honest opinions. I will continue moving on and hopefully in time when he sees me giving this no attention, he will stop with the badmouthing me in public and on social media sites. Thanks again all!

[robertpolyglot]

I trash women I've dated who were biotches. I don't trash women I've dated who are nice people, but with whom the chemistry wasn't what it could have been.

I think women should trash/not trash because of how the situation went down.

This mirrors the fact that there are both good people and bad people in this world. Is this news?

[FromTN2A2]

Just rereading this thread, including my post and answers makes me just not even care anymore. The whole situation is ridiculous and I refuse to entertain it for one more second. This is just an absolute ridiculous situation that I am just too far above. It literally hurts my brain to even try to lower my thinking to understand the many reasons he could be doing this. This is what he wants. NEXT SUBJECT

[strawberrykiki]

I see someone trashing their ex as a huge red flag. My ex husband cheated on me and did really really awful things to me, but I try to keep the trash talk to a minimum. When I'm dating someone new I give the briefest explanation possible. I think it looks really classless and trashy to trash an ex except in private with close friends/family. Then, I trash away!

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

I see someone trashing their ex as a huge red flag. My ex husband cheated on me and did really really awful things to me, but I try to keep the trash talk to a minimum. When I'm dating someone new I give the briefest explanation possible. I think it looks really classless and trashy to trash an ex except in private with close friends/family. Then, I trash away!

I should qualify what I said by adding that most people trash them to their friends, and NOT subsequent potential dates/mates.

[useasdirected]

When asked about my ex, I don't trash, I just tell the truth of what she did. I'll generally say it didn't work out but if pressed about what happened, then I will open up. I don't like to talk about it because its in the past and over and done with. I hate rehashing that time.

[laorbust61]

Originally Posted by maddog1

He's hurt and still has feelings for you. It's ego. Do not contact him. He'd love nothing more than to get a reaction. Over is over. If you are done , say nothing. Shrug it off. He is immature.

Look up. Read. This is about the best way to go about this. His ego wants the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you. That doesn't mean he will stop the harrassment. To get more attention, he would probably escalate what he is doing after you contact him. In Skinnerian Psychology terms, the RAT pushed the lever and got a pellet, and he likes pellets, so I know you can figure out what he is going to do.

[darrensmooth]

I think the City Data mods should create a sub-forum for gender generalizations, that way I can avoid threads like this!!

Yes all men trash their ex gf/wives..