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Old 05-21-2012, 11:02 AM
 
244 posts, read 248,231 times
Reputation: 261
Default Friend's Boyfriend is Cheating

This is a complicated story so let me start from the beginning. I've been good friends with this woman(Let's call her Abigail) for two years. During the time I had known her she was in a relationship with a guy (Call him Jacob) for over a year.,Their relationship was on shaky ground due to the fact Jacob was close friends with another girl named Samantha (another friend of mine).

Things happened, and ultimately, Jacob dumped Abigail, claiming he needed time alone. However, a week later, Abigail found out Jacob started dating Samantha. Which really angered her, (Abigail and Samantha hate each other). She yelled at him, and they stopped talking.

Abigail started seeing other guys, but the relationships didn't end well. However, over the past several weeks, Abigail kept talking about this guy and how much she loves me. She wouldn't tell me his name due to the fact "It wasn't the right time" and she didn't want to ruin what was going on. I knew something wasn't right, Abigail NEVER could keep it to herself when she was dating a guy, especially to her friends. Turns out, Abigail was seeing Jacob, ALOT. She told me he texted her and still loved her, and didn't feel that way about Samantha ( He's still dating her btw). She told me they talk everyday, have phone sex and other things.

I told her this relationship was bad, as he basically is using two girls for his own benefit and manipulating them both, but Abby told me she couldn't reject him, he was the only man she couldn't do that to. This is really serious to me because Samantha is a good friend as well to me, and she's been going through some stuff as well.

I don't know what to do, should I keep my mouth shut? Should I just let fate decide the outcome? This seems all wrong to me,
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:06 AM
Status: "Character is what you do when no one is looking..." (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
21,052 posts, read 22,313,218 times
Reputation: 50048
I learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut, even if I would be grateful if someone would tell me the truth. However that's me, and other people deal with it differently. You have no way to know how she will react to that news. I would keep it to myself...
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:19 AM
 
2,345 posts, read 1,290,721 times
Reputation: 1934
It's none of your business. You have your own life. There are people cheating on each other right now that you don't know, so what is the difference? You can't control the lives of people just because you know them.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:24 AM
 
900 posts, read 856,942 times
Reputation: 472
Wow. Just went through something similar so my first instinct - you have to tell her! Didn't realize it was 2 hers you have to tell. And you do. Won't be easy conversations but then the girls have the info and can make thier own decisions. Hope they both leave this piece of trash. And if the shoe were on the other foot , wouldn't you want to know?
Reread , ok you already stated the obvious yo Abby (this guy is a jerk) but you need to tell Samantha. Are you sure Abby's telling the truth? Tell Sam that Abby said this is what's happening. Have you seen the texts? Make sure and then tell. Tell Abby you will be talking to Samantha.

Last edited by maddog1; 05-21-2012 at 11:55 AM.. Reason: missed something
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:28 AM
 
Location: VA -> CO -> VA again
5,105 posts, read 3,237,553 times
Reputation: 9048
I'd stay out of it. Jacob is a jerk and Abigail is a fool. I'd leave them to sort out their own mess. The truth will come out eventually.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:29 AM
 
714 posts, read 483,519 times
Reputation: 1240
It depends on how close you two are. If I considered her a friend, I'd tell.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:35 AM
 
658 posts, read 633,252 times
Reputation: 718
This is wrong on so many levels. You could either choose to be a good person (spill the beans, which could result in you losing two good friends), or be a "good" friend (keep your mouths shut and hope that Abigail and Samantha will one day realize what a jerk Jacob is).

Or! You could rough Jacob up and teach that jerk a lesson for screwing with your friends.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:41 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,702,331 times
Reputation: 7274
I couldn't grin in someone's face knowing something bad is going on with them. Some people can do it, but I can't. Well I agree with LN4, if you two are close you should tell her about the scumbag. If you aren't close, then don't get into it. This is just as off the wall: but maybe you can send her an "anonymous" letter detailing what you know, I dunno.

Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-21-2012 at 12:22 PM..
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:47 AM
 
Location: US
5,148 posts, read 5,299,815 times
Reputation: 5137
Drop em all. Why bother with skanks for friends? They just do this crap all the time. Its annoying.

Normally I would say tell the girlfriend but she did that to the cheater in the first place so who cares. They all seem like a mess.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:52 AM
Status: "Proud to not be a Dylan fan." (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: So Cal
24,394 posts, read 18,127,873 times
Reputation: 22968
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
They all seem like a mess.
Yep....
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