Should I keep dating him? (wife, marrying, women, love)

[jljbos]

So...Im a 28 year old female and I have been dating a 23 year old male. We get along great, have a lit of fun together, no complaints. We have been seeing each other steadily for about six weeks. This whole thing is really very strange to me because I have never ever dated anyone younger than me. I also have kids, he does not. I am just sort of wondering if I should continue seeing him because Im not sure if this is going to lead into a relationship, because ultimately that is what I want. We did talk about this and he said he would like one but he is not ready to be in one yet. So should I keep seeing him and hoping he will reach that point or try to give my time dating to someone else who might actually be ready for a relationship? I told him that I wasn't asking him to be in one with me at this exact point, but I wanted to know if that was his goal in dating me.

[maddog1]

Set a time , say 30 days and see if it starts heading towards relationship. Whatever time frame you choose , be sure to not fall in love so you can stick to it.

[LuckyGem]

Originally Posted by jljbos

We did talk about this and he said he would like one but he is not ready to be in one yet.

He already told you.

You can't be in a relationship with someone who isn't ready for one.

[elnina]

^^^ Ditto! I think you are planning to be steady after 6 weeks, but he does not share your thoughts. Not many men wants to be domesticated at that age.

[Finger Laker]

At 6 weeks just relax and have some fun ...... no way you can know enough of each other to want to talk about long term commitments to each other

Base expectations - maybe .... but even then things change

When I started dating my wife neither of us were looking to be in a long term relationship - yet here we are

Way too much pressure way to early ... enjoy your time together - then there will be a point where the serious level will either increase to the point where you can start really involving your child or you will have to part ways .... from there it will have to jump another notch to something a little more long lasting and really committed and if it doesn't then there will need to be a break

however none of this at 6 weeks

[RockJock1729]

Originally Posted by jljbos

So...Im a 28 year old female and I have been dating a 23 year old male. We get along great, have a lit of fun together, no complaints. We have been seeing each other steadily for about six weeks. This whole thing is really very strange to me because I have never ever dated anyone younger than me. I also have kids, he does not. I am just sort of wondering if I should continue seeing him because Im not sure if this is going to lead into a relationship, because ultimately that is what I want. We did talk about this and he said he would like one but he is not ready to be in one yet. So should I keep seeing him and hoping he will reach that point or try to give my time dating to someone else who might actually be ready for a relationship? I told him that I wasn't asking him to be in one with me at this exact point, but I wanted to know if that was his goal in dating me.

I've seen this movie before.

You keep dating him in hopes that he'll come around, that one day he'll realize how much he reallt does want to be in a relationship with you. So you wait. And you wait. And you wait. Then one day it finally happens. He's decided that he's finally ready to be in a relationship. That's when he dumps you for the [whatever you're not] that he just met and can't stop thinking about.

You want a relationship? Go find one--with someone who wants to be in one. And since one good cliche deserves another: he's just not that into you.

[Huckleberry3911948]

different objectives of men and women.
i understand he understands, if you understand it will work out great.
u probably need to have the talk both with yourself and him.

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by RockJock1729

I've seen this movie before.

You keep dating him in hopes that he'll come around, that one day he'll realize how much he reallt does want to be in a relationship with you. So you wait. And you wait. And you wait. Then one day it finally happens. He's decided that he's finally ready to be in a relationship. That's when he dumps you for the [whatever you're not] that he just met and can't stop thinking about.

You want a relationship? Go find one--with someone who wants to be in one. And since one good cliche deserves another: he's just not that into you.

Yes I have also seen this movie.

OP you are living a cliche. You will never have a serious relationship with this guy. Accept that, then decide whether you really want to continue with this and for how long.

[Mikala43]

His goals do not include getting in a relationship, yours does.

I believe him, and I believe you.

So no, in my opinion you should not continue to date...

[cjawalt]

Originally Posted by jljbos

So...Im a 28 year old female and I have been dating a 23 year old male. We get along great, have a lit of fun together, no complaints. We have been seeing each other steadily for about six weeks. This whole thing is really very strange to me because I have never ever dated anyone younger than me. I also have kids, he does not. I am just sort of wondering if I should continue seeing him because Im not sure if this is going to lead into a relationship, because ultimately that is what I want. We did talk about this and he said he would like one but he is not ready to be in one yet. So should I keep seeing him and hoping he will reach that point or try to give my time dating to someone else who might actually be ready for a relationship? I told him that I wasn't asking him to be in one with me at this exact point, but I wanted to know if that was his goal in dating me.

My ex-fiance had a little girl and I didn't have kids, so here's my thoughts from that experience.

1. I wouldn't count on any guy under 25 years old being ready to handle an instant family unless they were done with studies or had a full-time job. In other words, he is at that stage in life or done with those college experiences. For example, many young guys in the military often have families.

By the way, this is the biggest reason guys get cold feet with marrying single moms, they have to be mentally ready for that level of responsibility (maturity), along with no longer wanting to be dating other women (ready to settle down).

2. I hate to say this but if you are regularly having sex with him and you don't know where this is headed, it's probably a mistake. A 23 year old guy doesn't turn down easy access to sex and guys that age know single moms are good candidates for that type of arrangement since they are essentially out of the regular dating scene.

3. As you know, your most important priority is your kids, and so is his relationship with your kids. I always said that I had to be sure about my emotional feelings for my fiance before I could figure out what my relationship with her kid. And it became easier to play the "supportive step dad" after that. If this guy is not sure about his feelings for you, you need to move on, at least for the sake of your kids. Six weeks is enough time for a guy to decide whether you have LTR potential.

Good luck.