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Old 05-21-2012, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
519 posts, read 726,835 times
Reputation: 409

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I've wanted to find a girlfriend for the longest time. I've tried everything. I've asked girls out in person, tried dating sites, asked girls I knew out on facebook, ect. I just get rejected everytime. It's not even the rejection that is annoying either. It's the way I get rejected. Every girl I ask out has a boyfriend, or is seeing someone, or doesn't date, or isn't dating right now cause they just got out of a relationship. It's always something to that effect. I'm asking as a 20 year old guy, should I just give up on this? I'm not gonna act like I'm the greatest looking guy in the world, or that I have the best personality. I'd say I'm decent looking, with a normal personality. I can't even approach women anymore my confidence is so messed up.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:22 PM
 
234 posts, read 496,615 times
Reputation: 438
It is tough when you are 20 man. I had the hardest time at that age too. Here's what I suggest. For the next few years don't even worry about it. I know it's hard but focus on yourself and don't worry about finding a girlfriend. Finish school, get started on a career, and show you are going places. Be cool and friendly to everyone you meet. Get in good shape if you can too. Women will eventually notice you and want to be around you. You don't NEED a girlfriend, and if that is your goal you are going to come off as needy which turns women off fast. Instead your goal is to become the best and most successful person you can be. That will get you plenty of interested women coming your way.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:24 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,695,548 times
Reputation: 7604
Quote:
Originally Posted by 719inhere View Post
I've wanted to find a girlfriend for the longest time. I've tried everything. I've asked girls out in person, tried dating sites, asked girls I knew out on facebook, ect. I just get rejected everytime. It's not even the rejection that is annoying either. It's the way I get rejected. Every girl I ask out has a boyfriend, or is seeing someone, or doesn't date, or isn't dating right now cause they just got out of a relationship. It's always something to that effect. I'm asking as a 20 year old guy, should I just give up on this? I'm not gonna act like I'm the greatest looking guy in the world, or that I have the best personality. I'd say I'm decent looking, with a normal personality. I can't even approach women anymore my confidence is so messed up.
No, not yet. Same in 10 - 15 years, definitely give up.

edit: what some of these people should do when they start threads asking questions is just tell everyone they're looking for motivational answers only. "Don't give up!" and all that kinda crap, not actual opinions on the question. would save a lot of trouble.

Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-21-2012 at 11:40 PM..
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:27 PM
 
12,098 posts, read 16,979,394 times
Reputation: 15736
Quote:
Originally Posted by 719inhere View Post
I've wanted to find a girlfriend for the longest time. I've tried everything. I've asked girls out in person, tried dating sites, asked girls I knew out on facebook, ect. I just get rejected everytime. It's not even the rejection that is annoying either. It's the way I get rejected. Every girl I ask out has a boyfriend, or is seeing someone, or doesn't date, or isn't dating right now cause they just got out of a relationship. It's always something to that effect. I'm asking as a 20 year old guy, should I just give up on this? I'm not gonna act like I'm the greatest looking guy in the world, or that I have the best personality. I'd say I'm decent looking, with a normal personality. I can't even approach women anymore my confidence is so messed up.
On one hand, I agree with Seattle cat. Women will expect you to be successful, so you can work on that.

On the other hand, there is a modesty and sense of insecurity present in a few women your age and late teens that you almost never see again when women reach a certain age.

I remember a few girls in college who were really cute who didn't think they were at all. I would pursue that if you could, because you ain't gonna see in too many women over 25. You might want to look for this type and not chase after all the women with all the chutzpah.

Oh ... and the 'doesn't date' excuse. Lies. I heard that too when I was your age and got shot down after a date. The same woman jumped in the bed of one of my friends not even two weeks after our date and they were an item about a month later. I have more examples if you like...
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:30 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
519 posts, read 726,835 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeattleCat View Post
It is tough when you are 20 man. I had the hardest time at that age too. Here's what I suggest. For the next few years don't even worry about it. I know it's hard but focus on yourself and don't worry about finding a girlfriend. Finish school, get started on a career, and show you are going places. Be cool and friendly to everyone you meet. Get in good shape if you can too. Women will eventually notice you and want to be around you. You don't NEED a girlfriend, and if that is your goal you are going to come off as needy which turns women off fast. Instead your goal is to become the best and most successful person you can be. That will get you plenty of interested women coming your way.
Thank you for the nice, encouraging response. That's my plan, is to go back to school. I did go to college for one semester, and I'm going back in the fall. Hopefully, I don't let myself become distracted by the women.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:34 PM
 
1,807 posts, read 3,311,298 times
Reputation: 1252
here you go bro.. i showed this to my younger cousin when he was feeling like crap because he went a good month getting rejected by girls at his college:


40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes - YouTube

if this doesnt motivate you then please throw in the towel
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:39 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,559,767 times
Reputation: 12334
I suggest taking a break to center yourself and then regain motivation.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:41 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
519 posts, read 726,835 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
On one hand, I agree with Seattle cat. Women will expect you to be successful, so you can work on that.

On the other hand, there is a modesty and sense of insecurity present in a few women your age and late teens that you almost never see again when women reach a certain age.

I remember a few girls in college who were really cute who didn't think they were at all. I would pursue that if you could, because you ain't gonna see in too many women over 25. You might want to look for this type and not chase after all the women with all the chutzpah.

Oh ... and the 'doesn't date' excuse. Lies. I heard that too when I was your age and got shot down after a date. The same woman jumped in the bed of one of my friends not even two weeks after our date and they were an item about a month later. I have more examples if you like...
I wouldn't say this one girl I asked out was insecure, but I thought she was really cute. So I actually told her I thought she was very pretty, which was rare for me. She actually said that nobody had ever said something like that to her. She was really shocked, and happy that someone would say something like that. Still, wasn't a girl that was looking for a relationship. This girl was actually believable too, but still, so discouraging since I actually really liked her alot from the couple times I did talk to her.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:45 PM
 
12,098 posts, read 16,979,394 times
Reputation: 15736
Quote:
Originally Posted by 719inhere View Post
I wouldn't say this one girl I asked out was insecure, but I thought she was really cute. So I actually told her I thought she was very pretty, which was rare for me. She actually said that nobody had ever said something like that to her. She was really shocked, and happy that someone would say something like that. Still, wasn't a girl that was looking for a relationship. This girl was actually believable too, but still, so discouraging since I actually really liked her alot from the couple times I did talk to her.
First off, I would never do that again ... call a woman pretty. Not only are you pumping up her ego and/or putting her on a pedestal, but if you say it in the wrong way, she will think you are a weird obsessive stalker. If you need to say it, do it in a very flippant manner, like, "Yea, sure, I think you're pretty."

There's plenty of time to butter up women with compliments after they've reciprocated.
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Old 05-21-2012, 11:53 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
519 posts, read 726,835 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by expect View Post
here you go bro.. i showed this to my younger cousin when he was feeling like crap because he went a good month getting rejected by girls at his college:


40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes - YouTube

if this doesnt motivate you then please throw in the towel
Thanks. Was a cool/nice video too. Especially with the Will Ferrell Old School clip, got a nice smile on my face from that. That's one of the funniest parts in any movie I've seen.
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