Is it worth it to try to meet women if you're broke? (girlfriends, marry)

[Rabbitluvr]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

Your main problem is that you buy into that crap. It makes you sound self-defeating, and insecure...and THAT is a big ol' HUGE turnoff. What do you have to offer a girl? What personality traits are your plusses? What sort of cool hobbies do you have? What do you do to stay fit? What neat places do you know about that you could show off to someone?

Focus on THESE things, on what you DO have...not what you DON'T have.

Not so fast. If the OP lived in the DC area, as an example, his observations would be more than reasonable.

Sorry, but from my experience here in Hell, aka Washington DC, money IS almost tantamount. It could possibly even trump looks and everyone here knows how much importance I place on PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS. Now, if we're talking ho-hum Anytown, USA (or Canada) then perhaps the OP's concerns may be a bit overblown.

[Crackpot]

Broke is subjective, maybe it's the ambition to better yourself that should make or break. This poor economy has caused much friction in relationships and people show their true colors when lack of money/lifestyle comes into question.

If you date and live paycheck to paycheck, you're practically in the majority. Don't let the wanna-be overachievers fool you. People have made it work for decades now.

Unemployed(living on unemployment) can prove very difficult, I wouldn't expect to get much dates or even a LTR.

My concern for anyone who does make it, as in financially well off, is falling into the trap of hooking up with someone who wants you for what you earn and provide and not you as a person.

[findly185]

I live in a suburb of DC and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years. After rent, student loan payments, cable, electric, groceries, water and car payments he maybe has $200 a month left over and most of that goes to gas. I've payed for pretty much every date, vacation, etc since the start of our relationship.

I dont mind because I love him.

There are women out there who will look past the monetary things. You just have to find someone who loves you for you, if you can manage to find that person who loves you regardless it'll speak volumes to their ability to be in it for the long haul through all the ups and downs.

[John13]

Originally Posted by findly185

I live in a suburb of DC and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years. After rent, student loan payments, cable, electric, groceries, water and car payments he maybe has $200 a month left over and most of that goes to gas. I've payed for pretty much every date, vacation, etc since the start of our relationship.

I dont mind because I love him.

There are women out there who will look past the monetary things. You just have to find someone who loves you for you, if you can manage to find that person who loves you regardless it'll speak volumes to their ability to be in it for the long haul through all the ups and downs.

You are a gem, and a rarity. Good for you!

But sadly that is not reality...

[John13]

Originally Posted by Prairieparson

In the long run, it might work to your advantage. I met a woman when I was in graduate school and almost out of money. We had some cheap dates, I didn't have much money to spend on her, but that was Ok, even though she had a good full time job. We dated, I got a job and we got married. We're still married since 1976. She always reminds me, it must have been for love cause it sure wasn't for money. That's a good thing, if you want to meet a woman who will stick with you in the bad times. Who needs a spouse, man or woman who bales when times get tough, cause they inevitably come.

That's the reason.

I wish I could go back to those days....

[nodoubt63]

if all she cares about is how much you can wine and dine her, she really isn't worth the time or trouble. i'm a woman that would rather have a man that has a nice personality and some character than a rich or somewhat well off idiot.

[Rabbitluvr]

Originally Posted by findly185

I live in a suburb of DC and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years. After rent, student loan payments, cable, electric, groceries, water and car payments he maybe has $200 a month left over and most of that goes to gas. I've payed for pretty much every date, vacation, etc since the start of our relationship.

I dont mind because I love him.

There are women out there who will look past the monetary things. You just have to find someone who loves you for you, if you can manage to find that person who loves you regardless it'll speak volumes to their ability to be in it for the long haul through all the ups and downs.

You're the exception here.

[dragonborn]

Cut the crap and get real people. Not so long ago, I saw a post requiring "credentials" in order to date. It's no secret that money seems to be virtually all that matters these days. People like Findly and ChessieMom are the exceptions to the rule. People in general are cruel, self-serving and money grabbing these days. You can deny it until you're blue in the face, but THAT is the reality that many of us have grown to accept, despite the fact that it creates a pretty unhappy existence.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by dragonborn

Cut the crap and get real people. Not so long ago, I saw a post requiring "credentials" in order to date. It's no secret that money seems to be virtually all that matters these days. People like Findly and ChessieMom are the exceptions to the rule. People in general are cruel, self-serving and money grabbing these days. You can deny it until you're blue in the face, but THAT is the reality that many of us have grown to accept, despite the fact that it creates a pretty unhappy existence.

Can you point us to that thread?

[nyanna]

No, you shouldn't date until you find a job so you can afford to go out and have fun. No woman wants to spend every evening looking at the walls of your apartment. We want to be treated like we mean something