U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-24-2012, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Where Dance Music comes first
1,904 posts, read 2,795,946 times
Reputation: 2255

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
"if he starts showing that he's losing interest, he's not really on the fence, he already is uninterested and is just taking his time demonstrating his lack of interest in you.
Still makes no sense.

So, what do people actually SHOW during the process of LOSING interest?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-25-2012, 01:54 AM
 
172 posts, read 365,766 times
Reputation: 117
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I think sometimes people just need a little space to figure things out. And guys think differently than women and I don't think they are as good at balancing a lot of different things going on at once. Meaning if he's busy at work it's probably consuming and he's having a hard time balancing work with his personal life.

I think focusing on yourself is really good. But I know that can be easier said than done. I have a lot of the same fears as you. I take rejection very personally and I'm always waiting for the bottom to drop out on my relationships because I expect disappointment. It makes me over analyze things and it ruins my ability to be happy in the moment because I'm always waiting for things to go bad. Everyone has baggage and flaws. But if you take ownership of your issues and take steps to work on them then you're headed in the right direction.

I hope you and your boyfriend can get on the same page. Good luck!
My therapist says that this type of behavior often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I am engaging in activities that I enjoy--either by myself or with friends--I don't obsess over whether the boyfriend is losing interest or not. Doing my own thing helps me to put things into perspective. I am the only constant in each relationship; therefore, it is my responsibility to create my own sense of well-being and security within myself. Even if my boyfriend decided to move on, it might be for the best, as it frees me up emotionally, for someone who could turn out to be a better match than him.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 02:18 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 14,354,810 times
Reputation: 15301
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromTN2A2 View Post
I agree with this. I have had every ex of mine who walked away from me, eventually ask or beg to come back. Literally, 3 out of 3. Completely depends on the situation. They were all 3 completely different guys too. Just didn't realize what they had until it was gone.
Not an uncommon experience at all.

The way I see it, if a man wants to go, let him go. "Thanks, it was great. I wish you the best."

Then you get that look:

"Well, go on. You want your freedom, there's the door. Shoo!"

Fast forward six months.

"Hey, how are you, Yzette?"

"I'm dating someone. Goodbye."
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 02:31 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,408 posts, read 28,729,998 times
Reputation: 16567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicegurl View Post
although there are articles that state that a woman can do things to turn his feelings around, I think that once a guy starts to show that he is no longer interested in a woman by pulling away, then the woman should let go and move forward, because the writing is on the wall and it's just a matter of time before he moves on...

Do you agree or disagree?

Ehh in the (long term) relationships I've been in there have been times where my interest in the girl has lowered for certain spans of time for one reason or another but yes it does come back.

That being said, with both relationships I ended after I lost feelings completely. That was for things I'm not going to go into though.

As long as you didn't do anything wrong to the guy, his feelings most certainly can come back.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 03:12 AM
 
Location: NYC
545 posts, read 853,813 times
Reputation: 648
Don't waste another second.... Tell 'em don't let the door hit your hairy butt on the way out.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 03:13 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,985 posts, read 87,651,288 times
Reputation: 98230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicegurl View Post
although there are articles that state that a woman can do things to turn his feelings around, I think that once a guy starts to show that he is no longer interested in a woman by pulling away, then the woman should let go and move forward, because the writing is on the wall and it's just a matter of time before he moves on...

Do you agree or disagree?
Sure, why not? It makes a lot of sense.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 09:04 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,127 posts, read 9,363,271 times
Reputation: 11746
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicegurl View Post
My therapist says that this type of behavior often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I am engaging in activities that I enjoy--either by myself or with friends--I don't obsess over whether the boyfriend is losing interest or not. Doing my own thing helps me to put things into perspective. I am the only constant in each relationship; therefore, it is my responsibility to create my own sense of well-being and security within myself. Even if my boyfriend decided to move on, it might be for the best, as it frees me up emotionally, for someone who could turn out to be a better match than him.
You have a really healthy attitude about this. Thank you. I'm trying to get to this place myself.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 18,907,450 times
Reputation: 9378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
This thread is painting with an awfully broad brush... way too many unknowns in this hypothetical.
I agree with this. It all depends...on the people, the situation, the reason he's losing interest. Did she stop doing something he was initially attracted to her for? Too many things to consider to give a definitive.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,163 posts, read 3,145,490 times
Reputation: 2206
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicegurl View Post
although there are articles that state that a woman can do things to turn his feelings around, I think that once a guy starts to show that he is no longer interested in a woman by pulling away, then the woman should let go and move forward, because the writing is on the wall and it's just a matter of time before he moves on...

Do you agree or disagree?
Personally, if a man is not 100% with me and emotionally available, I would not even want him. No sense sticking around waiting for someone to "love you a little bit more."
The point is not that he will eventually move on. The point is why allow yourself to be in a situation with someone who is not loving and valuing you and the time you can spend together.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2012, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,163 posts, read 3,145,490 times
Reputation: 2206
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1 View Post
^^^ if they want to go , let them go , things aren't always what they seem. Wait , observe. And you ^^^^^ you sound like me. Be careful. The 4th is a kilker. Don't take someone back who has left. He'll leave again.
Best advice right here! Never, ever go backwards. I always advise against "getting back together." The reasons for the initial split still exist, they will re-surface, and plus all you are doing is saying you are willing to be treated like an option!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top