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Actually... I tend to agree with her in general. I've nearly always worked in all male, or nearly all male situations and tend to get along better with men. I have NEVER heard any of my female friends talk as horribly as the average men did in those places. While I never cried at work (That would have been career suicide) I had a lot of body issues to work through in my early 20s because of the men I worked around. And most of them were college educated older men, not teens.
From my experiences, women will say something positive if they come across a man who is good looking or has nice attributes. If the guy isn't attractive they just ignore it and move on. Now, if a guy see's a good looking woman they make a big deal about it, and if they see an unattractive woman they like to make fun of her and tear her down.
I'm definitely not saying all men are like this by any means, and it's completely anecdotal, but it's simply what I've experienced thus far in my life.
It's good that you realize this is anecdotal in nature.
In my remarks to her I suggested that it's part of a larger puzzle, and I very much meant that. After all YOU, being a woman, are simply GOING to be far, far more likely to notice (whether through experience or observation) MEN behaving badly toward women. It comes from different things, from social conditioning, from being a woman and therefore looking AT men differently.
I'm a man, and therefore look AT women. I'm more likely to notice women behaving badly toward men based on this.
In both cases it's because we're looking at the opposite sex with an eye for evaluation, a vastly different eye than that which we use on our own gender.
As a man, I'd be the potential recipient for female misbehaviour, and thus more sensitive to it. As a woman, you have the same situation, reversed parties. More sensitive to it.
Observation tends not to be merely anecdotal, but egocentric. And as the stores of observation grow, so our social politics tend to follow suit as we're conditioned one way or another.
You're not WRONG; you're just not entirely right, either. It IS that larger puzzle.
Some of it goes back to how humans are biologically programmed. A physically attractive partner will give you a greater chance of physically attractive offspring. Who doesn't want their children to be physically healthy and attractive?
If anyone man or woman says that they dont care about looks they are LYING. To some extent looks matter. Physical attraction is a big part of dating.
I don't care about my looks and I'm not lying. As a young woman, used to be fairly attractive...and I tried dating, and always seemed to pick people for mates that were not what I was or wanted. I know why now, due to lack of confidence or not believing I deserved better. Now realizing my own flaws, and why the life choices made were life changing events that stunted my mental growth, along with personal success. Never had problems getting a date, and pretty much had my pic of men, however, like I said before, those choices were not so flattering. So, the past 16 years have been much needed mental growth time and exploration, learning how to take care of myself and being independent. Knowing I do not have to be a couple to be successful. Don't wear make up any more, don't care about purchasing clothes all the time, can do without, and much happier and content. Am able to go anywhere I want to go, eat when I'm hungry and know no matter what happens, everythings gonna be all right. So, stopped dating and worked on me. This is not the life for everyone, b/c humans are programed to believe they have to be a couple to be successful. I have a large network of friends, and family so much so, that it's difficult at times to keep them at bay...as my down time, is very important to me. But caring about my looks, well, I'm very clean, no longer the best dresser, have gained some weight, but am now confident, independent and extremely happy and I'm not a lier...I'm 63 years old and do not care about my looks. Even got my hair cut real short, the easier the better. I do believe we've become a nation of worry, worry about everything, and yes, while physical attraction is a big part of dating, as in everything else, lots of people go overboard to the point of being fictitious. That is not the real world or the bigger picture.
Just a serious question, not trying to stir the pot or anything...But, why if a woman cares about looks does that make her a bad character?
That's not what that exchange was about. She said she would date unattractive people for an ulterior motive. To boost her own ego. Go back and read that post. That's just using people. It falls outside the type of situation the poll is about.
Some of it goes back to how humans are biologically programmed. A physically attractive partner will give you a greater chance of physically attractive offspring. Who doesn't want their children to be physically healthy and attractive?
It's far from this simple. Women marry ugly guys because they'll be good providers. What's the point of picking a guy who will give you attractive offspring if the kids die because he's not a good provider? There is a complexity of factors involved, it's not just about looks.
I don't care about my looks and I'm not lying. As a young woman, used to be fairly attractive...and I tried dating, and always seemed to pick people for mates that were not what I was or wanted. I know why now, due to lack of confidence or not believing I deserved better. Now realizing my own flaws, and why the life choices made were life changing events that stunted my mental growth, along with personal success. Never had problems getting a date, and pretty much had my pic of men, however, like I said before, those choices were not so flattering. So, the past 16 years have been much needed mental growth time and exploration, learning how to take care of myself and being independent. Knowing I do not have to be a couple to be successful. Don't wear make up any more, don't care about purchasing clothes all the time, can do without, and much happier and content. Am able to go anywhere I want to go, eat when I'm hungry and know no matter what happens, everythings gonna be all right. So, stopped dating and worked on me. This is not the life for everyone, b/c humans are programed to believe they have to be a couple to be successful. I have a large network of friends, and family so much so, that it's difficult at times to keep them at bay...as my down time, is very important to me. But caring about my looks, well, I'm very clean, no longer the best dresser, have gained some weight, but am now confident, independent and extremely happy and I'm not a lier...I'm 63 years old and do not care about my looks. Even got my hair cut real short, the easier the better. I do believe we've become a nation of worry, worry about everything, and yes, while physical attraction is a big part of dating, as in everything else, lots of people go overboard to the point of being fictitious. That is not the real world or the bigger picture.
Wow! A LOT of your post could have been written by me! lol When I was younger I never had a problem getting dates/having boyfriends/even getting married! After my divorce, at age 54, I said "No more. That's it!" and it's been 15 years. I couldn't care less what other people think of me, my looks, my habits or what I do/don't do with my life. I quit wearing makeup two years ago because I was working outdoors and the heat just wrecked it all anyway. Funny thing is nobody even noticed! lol I am now 69 and totally comfortable with me, myself and I.
I also keep my hair short. Easier to care for and I like it. It used to bug me when my husband would INSIST I let my hair grow long. Told him if he wanted long hair to grow it himself! lol
I think the OP meant how we feel about men's 'looks', not our own. I don't think I ever dated truly ugly guys but neither were they GQ material. There were other things more important to me than looks even back in the day.
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