U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 05-24-2012, 07:41 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 51

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Here's the thing...marriage is a team sport.

You have to work together to get through the hard stuff.

When you work against one another the hard only gets harder.

Name calling of any kind is not only inappropriate, it pits you against one another and keeps you from being a team.

You two need to learn how to work together better. How in the world have you made it 10 years together already?
I know all the above is so true.
It is hard as hell to be in a relationship.
Sometimes I ask myself that same question.

 
Old 05-24-2012, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 85,126,852 times
Reputation: 39643
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
I know all the above is so true.
It is hard as hell to be in a relationship.
Sometimes I ask myself that same question.
So why don't ya'll go for some counseling so that you can learn some better communication techniques?
 
Old 05-24-2012, 07:47 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
"yo yo what up" "peace out"

Geez, that's the way teenagers talk.

Not to mention all that Neaderthal man stuff he spouted off - sounds so immature.
lol...
Yeah don't get it twisted... he is a grown man and I a grown woman and we act accordingly.

but sometimes he does seem rather immature.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 07:51 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
So why don't ya'll go for some counseling so that you can learn some better communication techniques?
Yeah that has become a thought, but who has the money. He says no amount of counseling is going to change his mind. So.

:c rying:
 
Old 05-24-2012, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 85,126,852 times
Reputation: 39643
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
Yeah that has become a thought, but who has the money. He says no amount of counseling is going to change his mind. So.

:c rying:
It's not about "changing his mind".

It's about learning some solid ground rules for how you respectfully treat one another. How to successfully communicate so you can keep your marriage solid for your family's sakes.

If you don't have insurance to do counseling, then call the United Way in the city closest to you. They can recommend therapists who will work with you on a sliding scale so you can afford the help you need.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 08:32 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
It's not about "changing his mind".

It's about learning some solid ground rules for how you respectfully treat one another. How to successfully communicate so you can keep your marriage solid for your family's sakes.

If you don't have insurance to do counseling, then call the United Way in the city closest to you. They can recommend therapists who will work with you on a sliding scale so you can afford the help you need.
Thanks for the info.

That may be what we need. I am so broken hearted, and just like I said earlier, here we are arguing about this tonight. Still no break thru.
Like the other person said, we hit a brick wall.
I might have to sleep in another room.

To hear him say I am in a certain place in his heart because of this hurts more than he knows. How could he really doubt me like that. How can I still look in his eyes and feel special anymore. He still can't believe I would do something like that. So I guess I lost some luster in his eyes. How do we bounce back. Can we.

I don't know.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 85,126,852 times
Reputation: 39643
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
Thanks for the info.

That may be what we need. I am so broken hearted, and just like I said earlier, here we are arguing about this tonight. Still no break thru.
Like the other person said, we hit a brick wall.
I might have to sleep in another room.

To hear him say I am in a certain place in his heart because of this hurts more than he knows. How could he really doubt me like that. How can I still look in his eyes and feel special anymore. He still can't believe I would do something like that. So I guess I lost some luster in his eyes. How do we bounce back. Can we.

I don't know.
SURE you can!

You just have to both WANT to

Sometimes it just takes a day or so away from the emotions to be able to let the hurt go.

I would start by giving each other some space and not discussing the mooning thing anymore.

Just agree to disagree about what mooning means and let it go.

Then maybe tomorrow evening after you've each cooled off a bit, find a way to agree that you both said things that hurt the other person.

Acknowledge the pain you each caused the other and apologize for it, sincerely.

Then do something FUN together - something that will make you both feel good, maybe even laugh a little. Go rent Eddie Murphy's "Raw" video - that guy was FUNNNNNNNY at that stage of his career

Just try hard not to stay stuck in the hurt okay?
 
Old 05-24-2012, 08:58 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
SURE you can!

You just have to both WANT to

Sometimes it just takes a day or so away from the emotions to be able to let the hurt go.

I would start by giving each other some space and not discussing the mooning thing anymore.

Just agree to disagree about what mooning means and let it go.

Then maybe tomorrow evening after you've each cooled off a bit, find a way to agree that you both said things that hurt the other person.

Acknowledge the pain you each caused the other and apologize for it, sincerely.

Then do something FUN together - something that will make you both feel good, maybe even laugh a little. Go rent Eddie Murphy's "Raw" video - that guy was FUNNNNNNNY at that stage of his career

Just try hard not to stay stuck in the hurt okay?
You seem cool. Are you a therapist? lol.
Yeah its hard not staying stuck in the hurt. Walking around in silence pissed off. And this goes on for days. I guess we are both stubborn. I hate 'love' sometimes, and that is the reason for me saying, single life is seeming better. I don't have to worry about my feelings being hurt and all the other BS that comes with it. I love him I do. But is love good enough. Us going from 0-60 is what is killing me.
 
Old 05-25-2012, 04:14 AM
 
Location: On the Ohio River in Western, KY
3,388 posts, read 5,475,613 times
Reputation: 3324
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
but at the end of the day calling me loose and ho is taking it too far wouldn't you think.
Ummm....yes. Sounds like he is projecting HIS dirty deeds onto you, and making you the bad guy when it's really him that's being the "ho".

Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
Yes mooning is low class and all that good stuff. But does it make me a ho or loose.
He even finds problems with someone drawing a picture of me naked in an artful tasteful way.
He also thinks its a problem if i go to the masseuse.
Yeah, he's cheating. Or he has an EXTREMELY small package and is totally insecure due to that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post

Not screwing in public places and keeping your butt in your pants is not a tight ass. Its called sanity. If you are willing to bare your body to random people in public and want to screw in public as well you are indeed a skank. It IS a crime to expose yourself in public. What are you even talking about?
Oh good LORD, drama llama much?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
What? I don't think most men want their wife flashing the world their butt.
I definitely know NO KIDS would.
Again get over it. Mooning a trucker with a group of friends is NO BIG DEAL. Doesn't mean you are loose, doesn't mean you are a skank, and CERTAINLY does not mean you are a ho. To be a ho, don't you actually have to have sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
Yo Yo.. What up evryone.
Here is my take.
I am a damn MAN. So the way I feel is how could & would she show someone something that I hold dear to me. I hurt also. I thought I got that across but she puts up such a fight to show she really didn’t care what I thought. It may not be the right thing to say but I feel if you would show your goods off if I looked at someone else’s under the same circumstances she would see what I was talking about. I do not think she is a ho and I said I would not one want a wife to do that so that she could see how much it means to me. That is why mooning someone that you do not know does not sound like fun to me. If you would do that maybe I hold people up to high. I cannot just let it go that is why I bring it up that hurts me also. I have been faithful to her also and would never Mod cut: Inappropriate language. to show someone because I thought it was fun. I don’t deserve to be called a tight ass no more than she deserve to be called a name. It may be a thing where two people are from different places but an ass is an ass and I don’t want people to see it. But she don’t see it that way so I don’t know why she get so mad when someone calls her out on it because she said it and repeated it several times plus said I would do it tomorrow. So is someone supposed to trust you not to do that.
Peace Out.
Grow up, man up and get Mod cut: BLEEP over it. She didn't do it, she said it would be funny. And it IS funny. Only self absorbed uptight silly ninnys think otherwise.

In the grand scheme of things, seeing a nekkid butt is NOT that big of a deal.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-30-2012 at 02:27 PM..
 
Old 05-25-2012, 05:28 AM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 268,775 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cav Scout wife View Post
Ummm....yes. Sounds like he is projecting HIS dirty deeds onto you, and making you the bad guy when it's really him that's being the "ho".



Yeah, he's cheating. Or he has an EXTREMELY small package and is totally insecure due to that.



Oh good LORD, drama llama much?



Again get over it. Mooning a trucker with a group of friends is NO BIG DEAL. Doesn't mean you are loose, doesn't mean you are a skank, and CERTAINLY does not mean you are a ho. To be a ho, don't you actually have to have sex?



Grow up, man up and get Mod cut: BLEEP. over it. She didn't do it, she said it would be funny. And it IS funny. Only self absorbed uptight silly ninnys think otherwise.

In the grand scheme of things, seeing a nekkid butt is NOT that big of a deal.
Well he doesn't have a small package lol
but he might be insecure and I never really new he was like this. It kind of caught me by surprise to be honest.
Yeah I can show him what a ho is, but I wont subject myself, I rather not deal with him if after all this time he is still acting like an azz.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-30-2012 at 02:27 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:39 AM.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top