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Old 05-24-2012, 01:59 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 272,283 times
Reputation: 51

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
At the risk of encouraging what I really, really do not want to encourage here, lol, he's wrong. Some men do want a wife like that *shrugs*

All you can do is compromise, I guess. You agree to never moon anyone in this lifetime (because when you get to heaven, how can you possibly resist?), and he agrees to... oh idk, treat you with more respect than to call you a ho? Good grief! I'm fairly confident that most (won't say all, but most) women do not want a husband like that!
Compromise is something I am starting to feel he doesn't want to do. When I tried to smooth things over one night, (because this is a 3 day argument now) I said ok, I won't moon anyone, since I know how you feel, and then I joked about him being possessive and jealous.

It was dumb of me to think that would be enough to put this behind us, noooooooo.
He still went on and on. He pretty much feels like I would still do it since I said it in the first place.

I am realizing in relationships, sometimes it can be just the little things that really make a difference.

I think I will listen to some slow jams, cry my eyes out, and smoke one while I ponder my next steps in life.

lol @ some men wanting wives like that.

And this is what I originally wanted him to see, was not to judge anyone.

 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:06 PM
 
Location: US
5,145 posts, read 10,436,663 times
Reputation: 5326
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
ok so my man and I are about to break up. And this is why.

So the other night we were watching tv and saw someone 'moon' someone in a car. So I laughed. While my hubby starts degrading the woman and all. So I intervened and asked what was wrong with it, its not like you could see her face and it was all in fun. Lets just say he didn't feel the same. So he asked would I do that, and I said "if I was hanging with my girls or if you and me were drunk having fun somewhere far away where no one knows me, then I might yeah" ....

Oh boy.
You would have thought I was about to become a stripper. He totally freaked out and then proceeded to take it too far by calling me a ho and a loose ass blah blah....How I am not special and no one wants a wife like that.

Needless to say it became and is a huge fight.
So...some insight into the matter would be helpful.

I asked others if the mooning incident would offend them and they said no.

but at the end of the day calling me loose and ho is taking it too far wouldn't you think.
Well a stripper gets paid at least. You are doing it for what reasons?
And the consequences:
- embarrassing yourself
- embarrassing your husband
- embarrassing your kids
- possible indecent exposure charge
- possible sex offender charge especially if there were minors in the area.

Funny? Nope.

You both abused each other with different forms of disrespect.

I would expect to get dumped and called every name in the book if I told anyone I was with I would go get trashed with the girls and moon people.
And if I was a mother...I would be sick with myself in the morning. That is all a kid needs is gossip going around the school about their skanky drunk mooning mom. There are other people in your life that can be affected by your actions. Act like you have some sense.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:06 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 272,283 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Okay, you cannot be for real.

You are pulling our legs, having a little fun on a boring afternoon at work maybe?
No this is serious as can be.
I am not joking or anything...
trust me on this one

i barely post up here, but this situation i needed to see what others thought. And later I will show him so maybe he can see the err in his ways.


But this is one of THE REALEST post ever.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:10 PM
 
Location: US
5,145 posts, read 10,436,663 times
Reputation: 5326
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
No this is serious as can be.
I am not joking or anything...
trust me on this one

i barely post up here, but this situation i needed to see what others thought. And later I will show him so maybe he can see the err in his ways.


But this is one of THE REALEST post ever.

And how about you seeing yours? You know that is so disrespectful to just throw that in your partner's face. Its like you were wanting him to fight with you.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
No this is serious as can be.
I am not joking or anything...
trust me on this one

i barely post up here, but this situation i needed to see what others thought. And later I will show him so maybe he can see the err in his ways.


But this is one of THE REALEST post ever.
Then I just don't get it.

A TEN YEAR marriage and two very young kids and you would be so superficial as to just say, "oh well, the single life is looking good" all because your husband hurt your feelings??
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,268,430 times
Reputation: 9177
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
The single life is starting to look so much better. All the years I invested in this man and he talks to me like I am shyte and like i f'ed around on him. I might have to chalk it up to being 2 totally different people with different views. We are at a serious crossroads. And I just called him to get a few things off my chest, and he still is saying the same things. So pretty much...no matter what is said....EVERYTHING BOILS DOWN TO ME SHOWING MY you know what.
When I tell him how I feel totally disrespected by what he says.
He then says oh well so do I.

So now where do we go from here. I guess I need to pack my things and move on. Deep down inside I am crushed and want it to work, but I know its not.

He is not coming off of his statements and pretty much, I guess, his word is it.
If any of this is true, then there is a lot, and I mean A LOT more to it than just joking around about mooning someone. Is he much older than you? Different upbringing or something?
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:17 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 272,283 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
Well a stripper gets paid at least. You are doing it for what reasons?
And the consequences:
- embarrassing yourself
- embarrassing your husband
- embarrassing your kids
- possible indecent exposure charge
- possible sex offender charge especially if there were minors in the area.

Funny? Nope.

You both abused each other with different forms of disrespect.

I would expect to get dumped and called every name in the book if I told anyone I was with I would go get trashed with the girls and moon people.
And if I was a mother...I would be sick with myself in the morning. That is all a kid needs is gossip going around the school about their skanky drunk mooning mom. There are other people in your life that can be affected by your actions. Act like you have some sense.
You actually sound just like him...
Oh my goodness.

For one, like I said I would only do it if I were far away where no one knows me and I would have to be intoxicated, but no I don't drink often. My drinking is a once or twice a year thing if even. I am not a skank, I am not a drunk.

And like I said I don't go around mooning people. But if the once in a lifetime of fun situation presented itself, I wouldn't be so uptight about it. (In a car, on a highway, far away like in another state, and of course one would have to be in a little tipsy to do that, its not a crime and only done in mere fun, spontaneous type thing. Like say maybe if I wanted to have sneaky sex outside on some wild an adventurous type mentality, having fun with my man. What is the harm. Like I told him I would hope he joined in on the fun and lets make memories.

But no, he wants to be a tight ass.
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 272,283 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
If any of this is true, then there is a lot, and I mean A LOT more to it than just joking around about mooning someone. Is he much older than you? Different upbringing or something?
He is 8 yrs older than I.
He comes from NC
Me NYC
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by wishing1 View Post
He is 8 yrs older than I.
He comes from NC
Me NYC
And you wanting to go back to NYC and pushing real hard for it, even though it sounds like financial suicide, has nothing to do with his annoyance at you?

would i be selfish for taking him away from his family to NYC
 
Old 05-24-2012, 02:27 PM
 
Location: nyc
156 posts, read 272,283 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Then I just don't get it.

A TEN YEAR marriage and two very young kids and you would be so superficial as to just say, "oh well, the single life is looking good" all because your husband hurt your feelings??
This isn't the first argument or time he has hurt my feelings now...I mean we are in a relationship, which has all the good and the bad.

I just feel like you know what... I been with him for so long, I show no signs of cheating on any level. I am here. I don't even wear too much tight clothing. Now of course I am a woman, but I don't wear the short skirts, trying to exude sex appeal. Granted i am pretty lol. But I stay modest.
So for him to go on and on about this the way he is.... This is what hurts. I mean he is saying things like i dont want a wife who would do that. So how am I suppose to take all the things he throws.

I don't want to leave, no. We have dreams and hopes at least I thought so.
But it takes 2.
And he is straight tripping.
And I gues ever since I was a girl in grade school, if a boy call you a ho or out of your name and so on. It was on...
So I guess I got a little of that in me. But why shouldn't I feel like this.
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