Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 05-28-2012, 09:24 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,095,018 times
Reputation: 15771

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by hatgirl007 View Post
When it comes to dating I wonder if some people are missing something.
Men approaching you telling you (unsolicited) their income, where they work, their bio, tell you how much they like you
and
in return you are to immediately run to have sex with them (no later than the second date) while being happy to have them come lay up over at your house and cook for them.
Has the art of courtship been lost in translation?
What happened to getting to know one another?
What happened to, as Steve Ward would say, knowing something about the person's family/history/etc before sleeping with them?
While every man is not seeking a relationship and nor is every woman, what happened to having respectful, meaningful, delightful interaction without complication?
Moving fast/wrecklessly does not mean that you are moving in a smart direction.
When you don't conform to their desires they look at you like you're crazy.
Anyone else have something to say about modern dating?
Because men like me have gotten to know gals like you as a friend first without much attraction, developed attraction based on your personality, and then you've ripped our hearts out when we've professed attraction.

So, instead we just profess interest early to get the attraction part out of the way.

A little dramatic, but it has truth to it for men in general.

 
Old 05-28-2012, 10:04 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,675,296 times
Reputation: 10386
Quote:
Originally Posted by katykat01 View Post
Well, I don't even get to that point for the most part these days. It seems that I had my choice of guys in my 20s and now it seems I can't get the guys I want to call me for a first date or a second. I have absolutely no idea what has happened. Every guy I'm not interested in doesn't take no for an answer! Actually, there's one guy I'm talking to, who I like, but I'm not sure if he's actually getting divorced or is just says he is. Either way, I don't plan to do anything sexual with him until I see signed divorce papers. Dating is definitely much harder now in my 30s than in my 20s, but I think we're all pickier now because we realize more is at stake.
Serious piece of advice for you: start dating the guys who already want you and forget about waiting for the guys who don't. You need to become less picky, not more picky. I know what happened - you got older.

You have aged out of dating Phase 1, early 20s in which almost all men will find you attractive enough to date. In Phase 1, you can date what I will call A Level men. We all define A level differently, but at the end of the day, A Level are the guys you find the most attractive and really want to date. A Level men are asking you out, and you had the luxury of ignoring the B Level one.

Now you are in Phase 2. The number of men who find you attractive enough to date has decreased by a substantial amount. A Level men no longer want you, but the B Level ones still do. (You are an A to him.) I strongly suggest you accept the fact that A Levels aren't going to happen, and select the best B levels ones who approach you. Right now you are wondering what happened because you haven't accepted the fact that those A Level dudes you want aren't going to call you. Find yourself a nice B Level man and settle down because before you know it you will be in...

Phase 3. The B Levels have now been scooped up by women who sprung into action before it became too late, and now the best you can do is what you once considered a C. Phase 3 is the over 40 used goods market. (I am here, but I am divorced and thus earned my spot on the softball team.) A man on the over 40 market without major baggage isn't going to want you because he can do better. Never married women here become very depressed and/or bitter because they will not get a husband of the quality of their friends who married a lot sooner. The guys who still look bright and shiny among this crowd are juggling multiple women and will drop you like a bad habit if you become too demanding. The guys who don't act this way will not pass your friends' sniff test and they will dig at you for "settling."

I have not experienced Phase 4 but it doesn't look pretty. Single women over 50 are a very sad bunch.

Yes, lots of women will come along to say I am dead wrong about this post but don't listen to them. Listen to me, and start saying yes to the men who are currently asking you out. The quality is going to deteriorate and you will wish you had given them a chance in another 5 years.
 
Old 05-28-2012, 10:25 AM
 
2,994 posts, read 5,772,802 times
Reputation: 1822
Quote:
Originally Posted by hatgirl007 View Post
When it comes to dating I wonder if some people are missing something.
Men approaching you telling you (unsolicited) their income, where they work, their bio, tell you how much they like you
and
in return you are to immediately run to have sex with them (no later than the second date) while being happy to have them come lay up over at your house and cook for them.
Has the art of courtship been lost in translation?
What happened to getting to know one another?
What happened to, as Steve Ward would say, knowing something about the person's family/history/etc before sleeping with them?
While every man is not seeking a relationship and nor is every woman, what happened to having respectful, meaningful, delightful interaction without complication?
Moving fast/wrecklessly does not mean that you are moving in a smart direction.
When you don't conform to their desires they look at you like you're crazy.
Anyone else have something to say about modern dating?
You nailed it ; welcome to the Modern era of 'Dating' with a Culture that grooms young boys to be sexual perannahs and girls groomed to be Tramps using their sexuality adversely .... for a lifetime.

There was a time , a few decades ago, when Women MADE the Suitor be gentlemanly, act properly, treat her with dignity and respect , and to earn her affections and trust....and Men had to be diligent at making the Woman see He was a great guy , unselfish in his motives, and had the potential of being a great husband and future dad .

Its truly sad that Men and Women today whittle down the opposite sex to a few body parts by willfully suppressing their moral conscience to achieve an illicit copulation simular to the that of Forest Animals operating on wild thoughtless instinct. And..that is what we have become via the popular pastime of sexual hedonism vehemently promoted . Nothing is held sacred in a secular permissible society.
 
Old 05-28-2012, 10:33 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,095,018 times
Reputation: 15771
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Serious piece of advice for you: start dating the guys who already want you and forget about waiting for the guys who don't. You need to become less picky, not more picky. I know what happened - you got older.

You have aged out of dating Phase 1, early 20s in which almost all men will find you attractive enough to date. In Phase 1, you can date what I will call A Level men. We all define A level differently, but at the end of the day, A Level are the guys you find the most attractive and really want to date. A Level men are asking you out, and you had the luxury of ignoring the B Level one.

Now you are in Phase 2. The number of men who find you attractive enough to date has decreased by a substantial amount. A Level men no longer want you, but the B Level ones still do. (You are an A to him.) I strongly suggest you accept the fact that A Levels aren't going to happen, and select the best B levels ones who approach you. Right now you are wondering what happened because you haven't accepted the fact that those A Level dudes you want aren't going to call you. Find yourself a nice B Level man and settle down because before you know it you will be in...

Phase 3. The B Levels have now been scooped up by women who sprung into action before it became too late, and now the best you can do is what you once considered a C. Phase 3 is the over 40 used goods market. (I am here, but I am divorced and thus earned my spot on the softball team.) A man on the over 40 market without major baggage isn't going to want you because he can do better. Never married women here become very depressed and/or bitter because they will not get a husband of the quality of their friends who married a lot sooner. The guys who still look bright and shiny among this crowd are juggling multiple women and will drop you like a bad habit if you become too demanding. The guys who don't act this way will not pass your friends' sniff test and they will dig at you for "settling."

I have not experienced Phase 4 but it doesn't look pretty. Single women over 50 are a very sad bunch.

Yes, lots of women will come along to say I am dead wrong about this post but don't listen to them. Listen to me, and start saying yes to the men who are currently asking you out. The quality is going to deteriorate and you will wish you had given them a chance in another 5 years.
This is all dependent on how much you care about looks.

There's tons of people out there who have stable careers and are college educated.

Really, the only problem why people can't find somebody good enough is because of looks.
 
Old 05-28-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,675,296 times
Reputation: 10386
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
This is all dependent on how much you care about looks.

There's tons of people out there who have stable careers and are college educated.

Really, the only problem why people can't find somebody good enough is because of looks.
I can't make heads nor tails out of this post. What are you talking about? Not sure why you are speaking of careers and college educations either...
 
Old 05-28-2012, 11:16 AM
 
4,868 posts, read 8,410,470 times
Reputation: 3161
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Serious piece of advice for you: start dating the guys who already want you and forget about waiting for the guys who don't. You need to become less picky, not more picky. I know what happened - you got older.

You have aged out of dating Phase 1, early 20s in which almost all men will find you attractive enough to date. In Phase 1, you can date what I will call A Level men. We all define A level differently, but at the end of the day, A Level are the guys you find the most attractive and really want to date. A Level men are asking you out, and you had the luxury of ignoring the B Level one.

Now you are in Phase 2. The number of men who find you attractive enough to date has decreased by a substantial amount. A Level men no longer want you, but the B Level ones still do. (You are an A to him.) I strongly suggest you accept the fact that A Levels aren't going to happen, and select the best B levels ones who approach you. Right now you are wondering what happened because you haven't accepted the fact that those A Level dudes you want aren't going to call you. Find yourself a nice B Level man and settle down because before you know it you will be in...

Phase 3. The B Levels have now been scooped up by women who sprung into action before it became too late, and now the best you can do is what you once considered a C. Phase 3 is the over 40 used goods market. (I am here, but I am divorced and thus earned my spot on the softball team.) A man on the over 40 market without major baggage isn't going to want you because he can do better. Never married women here become very depressed and/or bitter because they will not get a husband of the quality of their friends who married a lot sooner. The guys who still look bright and shiny among this crowd are juggling multiple women and will drop you like a bad habit if you become too demanding. The guys who don't act this way will not pass your friends' sniff test and they will dig at you for "settling."

I have not experienced Phase 4 but it doesn't look pretty. Single women over 50 are a very sad bunch.

Yes, lots of women will come along to say I am dead wrong about this post but don't listen to them. Listen to me, and start saying yes to the men who are currently asking you out. The quality is going to deteriorate and you will wish you had given them a chance in another 5 years.
gah! what a harsh post to wake up to..and I'm still in my 20's . I better run from this city as fast as I can or I'm gonna wind up in phase 3 or 4..
 
Old 05-28-2012, 11:25 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,675,296 times
Reputation: 10386
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
gah! what a harsh post to wake up to..and I'm still in my 20's . I better run from this city as fast as I can or I'm gonna wind up in phase 3 or 4..
Just know that you are in your best position to attract a quality partner now and you will be fine!
 
Old 05-28-2012, 11:32 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,095,018 times
Reputation: 15771
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
I can't make heads nor tails out of this post. What are you talking about? Not sure why you are speaking of careers and college educations either...
I'm saying I generally agree with your theory but the hierarchy is based on looks. The less a woman cares about looks, the less your theory holds.
 
Old 05-28-2012, 11:43 AM
 
4,868 posts, read 8,410,470 times
Reputation: 3161
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Just know that you are in your best position to attract a quality partner now and you will be fine!
where I live, the best ones are already taken, as in married. I'm already at level B.
 
Old 05-28-2012, 11:55 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,095,018 times
Reputation: 15771
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Serious piece of advice for you: start dating the guys who already want you and forget about waiting for the guys who don't. You need to become less picky, not more picky. I know what happened - you got older.

You have aged out of dating Phase 1, early 20s in which almost all men will find you attractive enough to date. In Phase 1, you can date what I will call A Level men. We all define A level differently, but at the end of the day, A Level are the guys you find the most attractive and really want to date. A Level men are asking you out, and you had the luxury of ignoring the B Level one.

Now you are in Phase 2. The number of men who find you attractive enough to date has decreased by a substantial amount. A Level men no longer want you, but the B Level ones still do. (You are an A to him.) I strongly suggest you accept the fact that A Levels aren't going to happen, and select the best B levels ones who approach you. Right now you are wondering what happened because you haven't accepted the fact that those A Level dudes you want aren't going to call you. Find yourself a nice B Level man and settle down because before you know it you will be in...

Phase 3. The B Levels have now been scooped up by women who sprung into action before it became too late, and now the best you can do is what you once considered a C. Phase 3 is the over 40 used goods market. (I am here, but I am divorced and thus earned my spot on the softball team.) A man on the over 40 market without major baggage isn't going to want you because he can do better. Never married women here become very depressed and/or bitter because they will not get a husband of the quality of their friends who married a lot sooner. The guys who still look bright and shiny among this crowd are juggling multiple women and will drop you like a bad habit if you become too demanding. The guys who don't act this way will not pass your friends' sniff test and they will dig at you for "settling."

I have not experienced Phase 4 but it doesn't look pretty. Single women over 50 are a very sad bunch.

Yes, lots of women will come along to say I am dead wrong about this post but don't listen to them. Listen to me, and start saying yes to the men who are currently asking you out. The quality is going to deteriorate and you will wish you had given them a chance in another 5 years.
Phase II isn't too bad for most women. Women who are in their 30s can still be pretty picky. Although it varies. I've seen women who are 35 years old who look closer to 45 years old. Especially white women ... they can age badly.

I have met a few Phase IVs, either parents of friends or coworkers. Women in their 50s who more or less cannot use their looks anymore and really have crapped out in terms of career. The divorce rate and the crumbling economy have increased the prevalence of Phase IVs. At least a few of them were the same women who were rejecting men left and right in their 20s. They'll live vicariously through their daughters telling them to chase hot men.

That's why I don't think I'm better than anybody. You never know when life is gonna kick you down the ladder some.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:47 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top