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Old 05-29-2012, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
5,517 posts, read 5,598,913 times
Reputation: 2432

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva View Post


So why would you NOT want to share this part of your life which could yield yet another common ground with your partner?? You dont realize how small this world really can be, do you?? Jeez..!!!
Because I intentionally keep the rest of my life separate from work. Work is not who I am, nor will it ever be. If the only thing in common I had with someone was that we worked at Banksters Anonymous, and what spreadsheets we worked on while we were there, or bitching about some ex boss in common.....I dont think Id have much interest in that relationship any how.
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Old 05-29-2012, 04:13 PM
 
2,090 posts, read 2,260,039 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
It is very offensive. I dont appreciate being defined by a job, nor would I define anyone else by their job.

Tell me, unless a person willingly defines themself by their work, what exactly does it have to do with them at all? Why does what I do have any importance in what non financial friendship or relationship qualities I can provide?
I have no problem telling someone what I do for a living... in person. I think telling others about your occupation can tell a part of who you are as a person as a whole.

However, when a mutual friend tried to set me up with someone for a blind date, her first two questions without asking my name were: 1.) What's my ethnicity and 2.) What's my occupation? It was a turn off for me and I told my friend to cancel it.
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Old 05-29-2012, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
5,517 posts, read 5,598,913 times
Reputation: 2432
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I think of it as more of a "How do you spend your days?" question. I'm not looking to define anyone by their profession or income, but I do require a partner who feels comfortable enough to at least tell me what kind of work he does. Men ask me what I do all the time and it doesn't bother me.
If you asked me that question, Id probably say something generic, "well I work a 9-5 in an office", and then Id probably go in to my hobbies or actual interests, what I feel actually defines me as a person.

Its not about "feeling comfortable" at all. Its about not wanting to be seen as a "Lawyer" or "Doctor" or "Ditch Digger", and even worse, the associated wallet size of that profession. If you told a woman you were a "cashier at Walmart" you would immediatley be judged from that. Maybe you are judged as a "slacker" or "stupid" or "poor" depending on what is more important to the woman. Who you are isnt even important any more after that point.
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Old 05-29-2012, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
5,517 posts, read 5,598,913 times
Reputation: 2432
Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva View Post
You should like one of those guys who secretly withhold information about your genetic/ethnic history. Like not telling your wife about your lilly white Italian grandfather who married a West African women in the early 1900s and your partner won't find out until she pops out a baby that has West African features? Why should that matter right, just like your wife not knowing where you spend 40 hours during the week??
So, why, exactly, would my genetic history have anything to do with who I am? Holy cow, I feel bad for whoever dates you. They probably have to submit a background check complete with DNA test.

What is wrong with a person being who they are, and judged by the content of their character, not a job, income, or an ethnicity?
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Old 05-29-2012, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,465 posts, read 3,705,954 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
Its not about "feeling comfortable" at all. Its about not wanting to be seen as a "Lawyer" or "Doctor" or "Ditch Digger", and even worse, the associated wallet size of that profession. If you told a woman you were a "cashier at Walmart" you would immediatley be judged from that. Maybe you are judged as a "slacker" or "stupid" or "poor" depending on what is more important to the woman. Who you are isnt even important any more after that point.
If someone isn't interested in you because you're a cashier, that just means that person isn't right for you. I don't see the point in trying to hide your job or getting offended if someone asks about it. It's no different than being judged by any of the other millions of things that people judge you for and then decide whether they're interested in dating you. At least your job is something that you have control over and if you're not happy with your professional achievements, you can do something about it.
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Old 05-29-2012, 04:41 PM
 
4,298 posts, read 3,429,175 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomdude View Post
Many are on the bankroll of a Wall Street bankster or pro athlete, waiting for them to leave their wife.
Those drama queens on Basketball Wives.
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:03 PM
 
4,298 posts, read 3,429,175 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi-turtle View Post
I feel your pain. I have a college degree, a great job, my own really nice apartment, a nice car.....all of it counts for nothing in the dating world because I'm only 5'8"
Dude, I am 5'8.5". You are not short. You can make that up easily with a ripped built. I wear soles inside my shoes, they give me 3 inches.
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:06 PM
 
4,298 posts, read 3,429,175 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Are girls telling you that they aren't interested because you're 5'8" or are you just assuming that's the problem? I really don't think 5'8" is that short.
Exactly. I would say 5'6" is short but not 5'8".
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:23 PM
 
76 posts, read 137,027 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Are girls telling you that they aren't interested because you're 5'8" or are you just assuming that's the problem? I really don't think 5'8" is that short.
Seriously. I am 5'4" am frequently pursued by "tall" dudes and my boyfriend/love of my life is a very short 5'3". I chose him over any of those guys because he is amazingly confident, funny, and intelligent. He also had MAJOR guts in pursuing me and did not take no for an answer (in the best way possible). In other words, height only matters if you let it matter, and confidence goes a looooong way.
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:40 PM
 
4,181 posts, read 2,233,910 times
Reputation: 4597
I think That's how a lot of people psych themselves out in terms of approaching potential mates with this logic.

"Hes too handsome/Rich to not have a GF or Wife"

"she's too attractive to not have a BF or Husband"

Etc
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