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I feel your pain. I have a college degree, a great job, my own really nice apartment, a nice car.....all of it counts for nothing in the dating world because I'm only 5'8"
Well, I have been on the dating scene after a bit of a break up. All I can say is wow... It seems like the dating scene is in the toilet these days, or maybe it's just me. One thing I've noticed... Women are very particular about what you do for work, as well as how educated you are. Being just a HS grad and a skilled tradesmen, I feel like women look down on me, even though I make decent money and have no problem supporting myself. Certainly I am not rich, but I'm debt free and always saving.
And when it comes to the women I meet, I just feel I am not meeting the right ones. I'm the type that enjoys a quiet walk in the park, or a day out riding bikes. I enjoy being active. What I find is I am meeting women who are more interested in going out every other night, staying out late, etc. I'm 25, I got that outta my blood when I turned 21. There is no life or fun in that anymore.
Sometimes, I do meet women who have their crap together, have goals and ambitions, even good careers. What I find is that, for one reason or another, they would rather be friends than anything more. I'm kind of at a loss. Seems like I am just not up to snuff for the women I would like to be dating. Even still, the ones who have things together seem to be taken off the market in short order.
I'm sure this topic has been discussed before. I'd just like to measure my experiences with others. I'm finding women are much more particular these days, and the options are running a bit slim. I would be interested to hear what others have to say, and any advice regarding this dilemma.
I rarely offer advice to others but I can tell you that at the age of 25, I was not remotely interested in the dating scene as I felt that young people in their 20's go through many changes. I was not attracted to any of the woman I had come across either. I thought that if I felt some attraction to a girl, I would attempt to ask her out but I wouldn't date just because everyone else was.
Now, six years later, I am older and more mature. As a person, I am a lot different than I was at the age of 25. Instead of feeling like women should meet my expectations, I am being more patient and enjoying life more than ever. I am happy with who I am. I think that itself breeds a positive personality that attracts people into my life simply from being who I am. I just let things happen naturally instead of forcing things.
Hope this adds a new perspective to your life situation.
I feel your pain. I have a college degree, a great job, my own really nice apartment, a nice car.....all of it counts for nothing in the dating world because I'm only 5'8"
Are girls telling you that they aren't interested because you're 5'8" or are you just assuming that's the problem? I really don't think 5'8" is that short.
Asking someone what kind of work they do is a very normal question when getting to know someone. You're lucky that your wife doesn't care since you find that very normal question so offensive.
It is very offensive. I dont appreciate being defined by a job, nor would I define anyone else by their job.
Tell me, unless a person willingly defines themself by their work, what exactly does it have to do with them at all? Why does what I do have any importance in what non financial friendship or relationship qualities I can provide?
Are girls telling you that they aren't interested because you're 5'8" or are you just assuming that's the problem? I really don't think 5'8" is that short.
I agree. I'm 5'7 and 1/2 and I don't think that's ever been an issue with women. My girlfriend is 5'6 and my height doesn't seem to be a problem with her.
It is very offensive. I dont appreciate being defined by a job, nor would I define anyone else by their job.
Tell me, unless a person willingly defines themself by their work, what exactly does it have to do with them at all? Why does what I do have any importance in what non financial friendship or relationship qualities I can provide?
Who says it has anything to do with defining a person? Most people spend 40 hours a week at work, they've trained for it, and you'd hope they'd enjoy it to an extent and take some pride in it, so work is completely normal to come up in getting-to-know-you conversation. I'd be incredibly suspicious of someone who refused to talk about their job, if they're to the point of being suspicious of me for asking.
Well, I have been on the dating scene after a bit of a break up. All I can say is wow... It seems like the dating scene is in the toilet these days, or maybe it's just me. One thing I've noticed... Women are very particular about what you do for work, as well as how educated you are. Being just a HS grad and a skilled tradesmen, I feel like women look down on me, even though I make decent money and have no problem supporting myself. Certainly I am not rich, but I'm debt free and always saving.
And when it comes to the women I meet, I just feel I am not meeting the right ones. I'm the type that enjoys a quiet walk in the park, or a day out riding bikes. I enjoy being active. What I find is I am meeting women who are more interested in going out every other night, staying out late, etc. I'm 25, I got that outta my blood when I turned 21. There is no life or fun in that anymore.
Sometimes, I do meet women who have their crap together, have goals and ambitions, even good careers. What I find is that, for one reason or another, they would rather be friends than anything more. I'm kind of at a loss. Seems like I am just not up to snuff for the women I would like to be dating. Even still, the ones who have things together seem to be taken off the market in short order.
I'm sure this topic has been discussed before. I'd just like to measure my experiences with others. I'm finding women are much more particular these days, and the options are running a bit slim. I would be interested to hear what others have to say, and any advice regarding this dilemma.
I don't care how much a guy makes. I do want him to be able to buy food for himself and live in some modest abode, but that's about it. Personally, I'm turned off by laziness, not a modest income. I'm college educated, fairly well-paid, and I once found romance with a professional handyman. He was smart, kindhearted, and had a wonderful sense of humor.
The downside (from a lot of guy's standpoint), is that I'm not all wound-up to get married and start a family. I'm the independent type and I enjoy living alone. On the other hand, the right guy can spend the night, even a lot of nights, and I'll even clear a drawer for him and some closet space. Heck, I'll stock his favorite breakfast food in my cupboard.
If he's the right guy, he might call and find me out for the evening. I'll just be doing my own thing, living my own, independent life. The evening will not be a romantic evening with some other guy. And the right guy would have the confidence, and trust, to know that.
It is very offensive. I dont appreciate being defined by a job, nor would I define anyone else by their job.
Tell me, unless a person willingly defines themself by their work, what exactly does it have to do with them at all? Why does what I do have any importance in what non financial friendship or relationship qualities I can provide?
I think of it as more of a "How do you spend your days?" question. I'm not looking to define anyone by their profession or income, but I do require a partner who feels comfortable enough to at least tell me what kind of work he does. Men ask me what I do all the time and it doesn't bother me.
It is very offensive. I dont appreciate being defined by a job, nor would I define anyone else by their job.
Tell me, unless a person willingly defines themself by their work, what exactly does it have to do with them at all? Why does what I do have any importance in what non financial friendship or relationship qualities I can provide?
Wow you have issues. Consider yourself lucky your wife doesnt care about your employment..but anyone would care because as already pointed out -most people spend at least 40 hours doing a "job" and would have to tell the other person because we ALL have our "good" days and "bad" days at work...Also, it serves as a form of bonding..I have gone on dates where the guy has said "oh I work for so and so company/firm" and we ended up having more in common because I have worked at that same company, or was already working there (or vice versa, when we shared our prior employment experiences/careers, etc)...
So why would you NOT want to share this part of your life which could yield yet another common ground with your partner?? You dont realize how small this world really can be, do you?? Jeez..!!!
You should like one of those guys who secretly withhold information about your genetic/ethnic history. Like not telling your wife about your lilly white Italian grandfather who married a West African women in the early 1900s and your partner won't find out until she pops out a baby that has West African features? Why should that matter right, just like your wife not knowing where you spend 40 hours during the week??
Who says it has anything to do with defining a person? Most people spend 40 hours a week at work, they've trained for it, and you'd hope they'd enjoy it to an extent and take some pride in it, so work is completely normal to come up in getting-to-know-you conversation. I'd be incredibly suspicious of someone who refused to talk about their job, if they're to the point of being suspicious of me for asking.
If they truly "enjoyed" their job enough to like it or have pride in it, why couldn't you simply say, "What are your intererests?"
No doubt, someone who is obsessed with their job will reply with something like "Well, I really like people, thats why Im a receptionist" etc etc.
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