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I don't understand that logic. Many available women in their 30s are attracted to successful men in their 40s, especially those that had their fair share of commitment phobic men.
The average age for first time marriage among educated, professional women is in the mid-late 20s and late 20s for men. That's the logic. That removes a desirable large segment. There will be an increased presence of divorced with children pool, but I'm guessing the OP has greater interest in the former group rather than the latter.
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Your assumption about these men wanting equally educated and successful women is also weak. For me, physical beauty, personality, intelligence, compatibility, and how she treated me (loving, caring) were always a higher priority than whether she had a PhD or was a CEO.
It's not my assumption. It's the statistics coming out of census. Educated men tend to marry educated women. The same goes for level of intelligence, beauty, culture, race, religion, etc. Likes with likes is what happens.
eta: Here's a chart (bottom chart) noting education between spouses in early middle age. If I'm reading it correctly, clearly most men are married to women of equal or greater education levels. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/...s-of-marriage/
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
A romantic relationship is nothing like a familial relationship. The thing is - from all your posts it is quite obvious that you do not understand what being in love is like. And that's fine. And if it makes sense to you to try to avoid something that you don't understand at all - that's fine, too. It's your life. You can do what you want. But love is not the death of fun and having a wife is not like living with your mother. My husband and I tell each other what we are doing because we WANT to. I told my mother where I was going because I HAD to. I do both things out of respect but they are entirely different when it comes to how I feel about them. And my husband and I have more fun together than we ever did apart. THAT'S WHY WE WANTED TO GET MARRIED! I don't know where you are getting your information from about being in love and I don't know why you think of it as being such a miserable experience - but it is not. Love is a GOOD thing. Love makes you feel GOOD. You talk about it like it's the plague and that doesn't make sense to anyone who has ever really experienced love.
Yeah.
I don't understand being shot 10 times but I ain't trying to experience that either.
It's not my assumption. It's the statistics coming out of census. Educated men tend to marry educated women. The same goes for level of intelligence, beauty, culture, race, religion, etc. Likes with likes is what happens.
I would agree with educated men marrying educated women, but not the highly successful man wanting to marry a highly successful woman. I think about all the married couples I've known over the years and there's always some disparity between education levels of husband and wife.
And while your birds of a feather analogy seems ideal, I'm not so sure we should call it "norm" because we see lots of diversity in married couples --and I'm not one of those liberals with an agenda to promote more acceptable social norms.
But I get your points. Thanks for the clarification.
But back to the OP. Some people are born to nest and derive great pleasure from it. I asked my husband about this at lunch. (We married very young.) Without missing a beat, he simply said, "Because I never did see the appeal of meaningless sex, and life is much more fun with my best friend along for the ride."
I would agree with educated men marrying educated women, but not the highly successful man wanting to marry a highly successful woman. I think about all the married couples I've known over the years and there's always some disparity between education levels of husband and wife.
I just added that graph above a bit too late. Yes, there is a disparity where there is now a larger percentage of women who outpace their spouses in education. But, don't you think it's minimal in either direction for most?
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And while your birds of a feather analogy seems ideal, I'm not so sure we should call it "norm" because we see lots of diversity in married couples --and I'm not one of those liberals with an agenda to promote more acceptable social norms.
But I get your points. Thanks for the clarification.
What kind of diversity are you seeing? I don't see it in my neck of the woods. Again, the norms I'm drawing from is what I'm seeing in the literature and stats.
I think perhaps if we're talking about really exceptional earners, say $1 million and up, then we might see disparity of education. But among the upper middle-class professionals, parity is probably more the norm. Lots of us met our mates in college.
What kind of diversity are you seeing? I don't see it in my neck of the woods. Again, the norms I'm drawing from is what I'm seeing in the literature and stats.
Get out of the NE corridor and you will see what I'm talking about, but I'm fairly sure NYC and I know DC (lived there) have their fare share of marriage diversity. And statistically, you may also be correct with rural America but go to any major metropolitan city and its not unusual to see married couples with a mix of cultural, religious, race, etc. We aren't as homogenous as say 30 years ago.
I don't understand being shot 10 times but I ain't trying to experience that either.
Love is just something I don't think I need.
No - it's more like saying you don't know what it's like to win the lottery but you don't need to experience that either.
And that's fine with me. You don't have to get married. You don't have to win the lottery either. There are lots of amazing things out there that you don't ever have to experience if you don't want to.
My wife earned more than me when we got married (we were 20). For about 4 years i earned more than her and since then she's earned more and currently earns nearly 3 times more than me.
It's not about "spraying your seed" everywhere and "living the life" and getting wealthy it's about being happy. If you choose to get married later so you can be a player when younger you just have to let the chances for long term happiness go and hope one appears when 'your' ready.
Sounds a bit of a risk to me...
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