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Old 06-02-2012, 09:40 AM
 
455 posts, read 287,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieGal View Post
Christian "choices" are made by Christian leaders and there is pressure to stay the course. I recommend that adults think for themselves in matters to do with their sex lives and in other parts of their lives, rather than have "choices" dictated by religious leaders. A person should not feel guilty because he or she doesn't abide by someone else's view of sexual morality.

As for sexual intimacy, of course there can be problems. Some degree of prudence is required. I would not suggest to anyone that he or she go to bed with complete strangers.

There are people who don't want marriage but would rather have an independent lifestyle. There are those who for financial concerns, or other reasons, want to put off marriage for years. If a person has come to know, respect, and appreciate another and there is a mutual desire for sexual intimacy, to wait until marriage is often nonsensical. Yet there are those who do, and yes, that is tragic.
It's so funny that whenever someone professes to have religious beliefs, suddenly they are considered sheep who blindly follow religious leaders. Yet, you are recommending others blindly follow the feel-good, live for the moment religion of secular-humanism that the good majority of people abide by these days. Most people in this country do NOT wait for marriage whether they are Christian or not. Therefore, those who do manage to stick to their beliefs and wait for marriage ARE MAKING A CHOICE. They are taking the road less travelled. They are drawing a line in the sand and standing behind it because it's something they believe in. They deserve to be applauded not mocked and ridiculed.

If you consider life without sex to be tragic then I think your life is tragic because you have no concept of true tragedy.
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:14 AM
 
2,997 posts, read 2,687,340 times
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Originally Posted by KatieGal View Post
Okay, I was going to let it go but apparently someone else decided to get on board with you so here it goes...

First, sexual intimacy might require only 2% of someone life, but it can be an amazing 2%. A person can excitedly await all through the day for the evening when he or she is with that special person with whom they are romantically involved. The two lovers can take each other on a wonderfully sensual journey that if it is sufficiently passionate, can be fondly recall many decades later. So it may be only 2%, but it can be the best 2% in a person's life.

Religions force women to hide themselves under burkas. There are many places where adulterous women are stoned. In America it isn't so bad. Here there are religions that demand their members, primarily women, to remain virgins until they are married. How long is that exactly? Until a woman is thirty? Forty? For some it is their entire lives. All because a religious leader demands it.

So yes, given the potential beauty of sexual intimacy, I find many of the reason for people's abstention to be sad and tragic, just as the woman forced to hide under a burka is tragic.
2% of the time = 3.4 hours per week . Id say that is most likely how much time married people spend in sexual intimacy , if not less. It IS a wonderful journey but if its treated beyond the boundaries of marriage , then it often turns into a very harmful thing to Ones Soul upon termination of the sexual quest.

Some religions, not all, maintain a very high moral standard in their society by enforcing sexual purity . Some go overboard in their punishment. It is a good way to prevent an STD national Epidemic however, which is Americas shame.

Remaining a virgin is a noble desire and we should support such ideology...that is, if we viewed sexual purity as sacred ...which America doesnt . Instead its turned into a temporary gratification quest by sexual perannahs with devastating physical and emotional consequences -- even to the point of ripping developing human babies to shreds all in the name of sexual hedonism gone further wrong .

I often wonder what America would be like if it didnt fall for the lure of the Sexual Revolution started in the early 1960's , and kept human sexuality a sacred and honored thing that it is supposed to be. I doubt STD contraction would be 1 in 6 for 8th graders and that we'd have 33 STD's shared amongst some 65,000,000 adult Americas with 15,000,000 more added each year. Im sure walk in abortion for birth control would have been much lower than the 60,000,000 murders since 1973 . We just might have had a Nation that wasnt so bent on entitle-itis at perilous costs.
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Yuma, Az
345 posts, read 168,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by southshorelady View Post
It's so funny that whenever someone professes to have religious beliefs, suddenly they are considered sheep who blindly follow religious leaders. Yet, you are recommending others blindly follow the feel-good, live for the moment religion of secular-humanism that the good majority of people abide by these days. Most people in this country do NOT wait for marriage whether they are Christian or not. Therefore, those who do manage to stick to their beliefs and wait for marriage ARE MAKING A CHOICE. They are taking the road less travelled. They are drawing a line in the sand and standing behind it because it's something they believe in. They deserve to be applauded not mocked and ridiculed.

If you consider life without sex to be tragic then I think your life is tragic because you have no concept of true tragedy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'll use "sad" rather than "tragic".

I remember when I was very young my parents and I walked by a group of Hare Krishnas, and after we passed, my father uttered something about how they were wasting their lives with their beliefs. Whereupon my mother asked how those Krishnas were any different than nuns. There is no logical rebuttal for that, of course.

Along that same line; you do realize that those 9/11 Muslim terrorists were making a choice. How do feel about that? Should someone have perhaps told them that they might want to reconsider? They believed in what they were doing and were clearly traveling down the road less traveled. Yes, that's an extreme example, but it still makes my point, which is; a person should think about what they want, not leave it to religious leaders. It could cost a person his life, or at least the experience of sexual intimacy. And that is most definitely sad and unfortunate.
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:26 AM
 
455 posts, read 287,261 times
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Originally Posted by KatieGal View Post
If it makes you feel any better, I'll use "sad" rather than "tragic".

I remember when I was very young my parents and I walked by a group of Hare Krishnas, and after we passed, my father uttered something about how they were wasting their lives with their beliefs. Whereupon my mother asked how those Krishnas were any different than nuns. There is no logical rebuttal for that, of course.

Along that same line; you do realize that those 9/11 Muslim terrorists were making a choice. How do feel about that? Should someone have perhaps told them that they might want to reconsider? They believed in what they were doing and were clearly traveling down the road less traveled. Yes, that's an extreme example, but it still makes my point, which is; a person should think about what they want, not leave it to religious leaders. It could cost a person his life, or at least the experience of sexual intimacy. And that is most definitely sad and unfortunate.



Are you seriously comparing a personal decision not to have sex before marriage with killing 3,000 people???? Seriously? I'm not even going to bother debating with you anymore.

A person not having sex is not going to harm anyone else in any way whatsoever. It is a personal choice and goes against no law or moral obligation. That's what defines a personal choice. What religion or secular ideal that guides these choices is no business of anyone else.
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:29 AM
 
2,997 posts, read 2,687,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by southshorelady View Post
It's so funny that whenever someone professes to have religious beliefs, suddenly they are considered sheep who blindly follow religious leaders. Yet, you are recommending others blindly follow the feel-good, live for the moment religion of secular-humanism that the good majority of people abide by these days. Most people in this country do NOT wait for marriage whether they are Christian or not. Therefore, those who do manage to stick to their beliefs and wait for marriage ARE MAKING A CHOICE. They are taking the road less travelled. They are drawing a line in the sand and standing behind it because it's something they believe in. They deserve to be applauded not mocked and ridiculed.

If you consider life without sex to be tragic then I think your life is tragic because you have no concept true tragedy.
Plus...the great majority of Religious Leaders , especially Christian, bring us the truth of Gods instructions for our own good, protection, and to solidify high moral standards --- something which is sadly pooh-poohed today because its an affront to Ones unbridled sexual fun , personal entitle-itis., and of course the mass medias agenda for increasing revenue by wrongly appealing to our sexuality. WHen i run across a young man or lady who is opposed to our sexually illicit culture and wishes to remain celibate till marriage ...it makes me want to take them out for a nice dinner to celebrate their integrity and moral standards.
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,965 posts, read 8,282,416 times
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Where has this conversation gone??? Wow!

Premarital sex is a personal decision - and one that the person who is making it has to live with for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't marry someone if I hadn't slept with them first - which is why I wouldn't date someone who wanted to wait. If someone wants to wait - that's fine - but I wouldn't change my feelings on this and I wouldn't want someone else to change theirs for me. If they gave in because of me and then regretted it - I wouldn't want to live with that. Do I agree with waiting until marriage? No. But that's not my decision to make. Can people who wait still have happy, sexually compatible marriages? Of course. Do they always? Of course not. But premarital sex is also not a guarantee of marital bliss. I don't feel sorry for people who decide to wait but I do feel sorry for people who never marry and never have sex - if that is something that they wanted. But c'est la vie. We are all in charge of our own lives.
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:17 AM
 
2,997 posts, read 2,687,340 times
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Where has this conversation gone??? Wow!

Premarital sex is a personal decision - and one that the person who is making it has to live with for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't marry someone if I hadn't slept with them first - which is why I wouldn't date someone who wanted to wait. If someone wants to wait - that's fine - but I wouldn't change my feelings on this and I wouldn't want someone else to change theirs for me. If they gave in because of me and then regretted it - I wouldn't want to live with that. Do I agree with waiting until marriage? No. But that's not my decision to make. Can people who wait still have happy, sexually compatible marriages? Of course. Do they always? Of course not. But premarital sex is also not a guarantee of marital bliss. I don't feel sorry for people who decide to wait but I do feel sorry for people who never marry and never have sex - if that is something that they wanted. But c'est la vie. We are all in charge of our own lives.
And determining how compatible two people are thru premartial sex doesnt gaurantee that level of sexual compatibility will remain once married -- in fact it wont because a more mature emotional commited type love is supposed to take over after the initial passionate love stage of marriage diminishes ; during the Dating stage both people are on their best behaviour and are wanting to put on a good show for each other in order to have a captive audience ...and in that regard, it has the element of superficiality . Perhaps this is one of the reasons why studies confirm having had premarital sex leads to a higher divorce rate .

Perhaps as a permissive society, we have missed the boat on the sacredness behind our sexuality and have resorted to the mantra of 'try out the cow first before buying it' mentality as if it isnt going to wane/change at all (?) Maybe the shift should be toward the other 98% of the time youre going to be both together which *might enhance the sexual time of 2% , thereby nullifying the necessity of trying out the cow beforehand (?) .Its amazing how great married sex is when theres superb emotional time being had in a marriage.

Last edited by 007.5; 06-02-2012 at 11:28 AM..
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,431 posts, read 3,732,963 times
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I wish I could rep you again, Dewdrop!
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:23 AM
 
2,997 posts, read 2,687,340 times
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Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
I wish I could rep you again, Dewdrop!
There was a time i would have repped her (and you) .
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,965 posts, read 8,282,416 times
Reputation: 15880
Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5 View Post
And determining how compatible two people are thru premartial sex doesnt gaurantee that level of sexual compatibility will remain once married -- in fact it wont because a more mature emotional commited type love is supposed to take over after the initial passionate love stage of marriage diminishes ; during the Dating stage both people are on their best behaviour and are wanting to put on a good show for each other in order to have a captive audience ...and in that regard, it has the element of superficiality . Perhaps this is one of the reasons why studies confirm having had premarital sex leads to a higher divorce rate .

Perhaps as a permissive society, we have missed the boat on the sacredness behind our sexuality and have resorted to the mantra of 'try out the cow first before buying it' mentality as if it isnt going to wane/change at all (?) Maybe the shift should be toward the other 98% of the time youre both together which would enhance the sexual time of 2% (?) .
I never said premarital sex was a guarantee of sexual compatibility after marriage. In fact - I said it wasn't a guarantee. There are no guarantees in life. However, I, personally, would not have married my husband with out having had sex with him. Our relationship has been a wonderful journey for 10 years - and we plan on it lasting the rest of our lives. Our marriage is sacred to us. Our whole relationship has been sacred to us - from our first kiss up until now. It has been seamless. I wouldn't change a thing.

And again - you are free to live your life the ways that seems best to you. I am not you so who am I to tell you what is best for you? All I know is what is best for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
I wish I could rep you again, Dewdrop!
Thanks!
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