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The past is the past. Someone could have gone through a wild phase over 10 years ago and racked up a lot of partners and maybe now they haven't even had sex in 2 years.
Btw- You can get an STD from 1 time or 100. So really, who is the bigger fool, the guy who had 20 sex partners and always used a condom? Or the guy who had seven and never used one?
your logic is correct...but I'm wondering...how many really use protection now a days?
your logic is correct...but I'm wondering...how many really use protection now a days?
not too many. There is always a good amount of people who don't use condoms for oral sex and than the younger generation. Normally do penetrative sex and later put on a condom in order to not get her pregnant. I am sure some of my friends have std's even if they say they don't.
So would it matter if you practice safer sex and still had many partners?
A onetime one night stand and a few lovers would not bother me so much as someone who can't even keep track of the lovers they have had. I agree with bluegrassgirl on this thread, it would matter to me, I want someone with similiar morals as me.
Once you're over 25, the dating pool has pasts. You have to focus on the present and the future instead of the past. With the exception of criminal history and numerous marriages or children, of course.
So would it matter if you practice safer sex and still had many partners?
No, it wouldn't make a difference in my book.
Besides that what method is 100% "safe"???...besides abstaining, of course.
It's too risky and irresponsible to have many partners no matter how one looks at it.
It's hard to really get people to be honest about this kind of stuff. You have to remember to not to be fooled, you can always be dating an "everything but" person.
The guy or girl who has had intercourse with only 4 people....but has had oral sex with so many people they wouldn't be able to keep track. So they may only tell you they had 4 sex partners, but they could have given 200 blow jobs.
It's hard to really get people to be honest about this kind of stuff. You have to remember to not to be fooled, you can always be dating an "everything but" person.
The guy or girl who has had intercourse with only 4 people....but has had oral sex with so many people they wouldn't be able to keep track. So they may only tell you they had 4 sex partners, but they could have given 200 blow jobs.
People can always be mislead. However, if we truly take time to get to know a person, we learn their sexual history, their emotional history, their dating history, their family history....... Unless we're just looking to date and have casual sex, then we take the time that is needed to get to know a person, thus decreasing our chances of being duped by someone. I'm not naieve and certainly know that there's folks that would lie about everything from their past.... but we can take steps to minimize the risk of being hurt emotionally and physically by not allowing ourselves to jump into relationships or into bed with someone.
I know many people who don't agree with the way I feel about the subject. For me.... casual sex without honesty, feelings, and some history together is meaningless. JMO
hmmm, I used to feel this way, but, I don't any longer...b/c of sexually transmitted diseases...and I'd like to know and feel inside, that he is in control...having a partner is an investment...of feelings, time, and sleeping with everyone, they slept with in the past....I don't know, for me, if I were dating, I'd want to know that I'm dating someone who didn't need to sleep around...who was mature and responsible...and didn't give in to self indulgence...by using others, yanno?
Maybe I'm wrong, but it is the way I feel...
and not to say your wrong, we just feel differently about the subject.
I don't think we feel differently about...we are just using different words for the same meaning. Some people have a past...I had mine when I was 18, 19, and 20. I'm 30 now and feel very fortunate and grateful that I got through that time alive and healthy. Who am I to judge someone for their past?
At this point in my life and from now on, I feel a partner is an investment. I haven't always felt that way. I must have someone who feels the same way about it. The past is the past....and as long as there is no disease and he doesn't cheat one me, the past will stay there.
09-23-2007, 03:35 PM
proudmary
n/a posts
Totally mattered to me while I was on the dating scene. If I found out that a guy who was interested in me slept around, I didn't date him. It was reflective of how out of sync our values were. I wanted a guy who respected and treated women well, not some guy who couldn't control himself like a dog in heat. I also didn't need to be compared to 100 other chicks in bed. I especially wouldn't want any unknown children coming out of the woodwork from my guy's past. And don't get me started on the diseases! Why anyone sleeps around in this day and age is incomprehensible to me. Too risky!
I think it definitely matters.
I would never date a guy who has had alot of partners that is disgusting.
Where's the morals and values in the world today?
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