Telling someone I love him...

[Prince_Frog]

Originally Posted by skydiver3

Hmm...why?
I think it's pretty original.Wouldn't you want somebody to tell you they love you a minute before they jumped off a plane?
Life's not a movie, but it doesn't mean we can't live it like one.

No, I wouldn't want them to spend however much that was to tell me they loved me. I would rather them tell me face-to-face so it's genuine, not forced because you're jumping off a plane with a chance of dying.

[skydiver3]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

Okay - let's get something straight. Getting upset because your boyfriend is talking about the other women that he's dating and saying that he might want to get back together with his ex girlfriend is NOT being an annoying jealous girlfriend. It's called being NORMAL because what kind of an a-hole talks about stuff like that with his girlfriend? That's unacceptable. And you need to stop being a doormat and tell him how you really feel. And you HAVE to be able to do this or else you will NEVER be happy. And you CAN do this and you HAVE to do this.

I think your advice is the most useful so far, so thanks
I know that's how most normal girls are, I see how my friends get upset with their boyfriends, and how they are jealous and their boyfriends are still with them but...I'm just way too afraid that if I get him upset (especially since he's a really moody person) or if I suffocate him by being jealous all the time, he might leave me.
(one of my ex boyfriends left me because I was too..."clingy" )
And I learn from my mistakes so I try to give him space...I don't call too much, don't show any jealousy, and generally try not to keep him on a leash and give him his space, hoping he would appreciate that.

Honestly - I don't understand how you can trust someone completely who talks about other women the way that he does - but whatever.

The foundation of any healthy, successful relationship is COMMUNICATION. Neither one of you is communicating. If you don't communicate how you are feeling - the your relationship has no foundation. You can fix this but you can't fix it by continuing to deny how you feel and to not speak up for yourself.

I really hope I can.Before it's too late.
I realize I screwed up, twice...But I really hope there's still something left to fix.Because time does it's thing, and dating other girls probably helped too so even if he DID love me or feel something like that in the beginning...I don't know how much of those feelings remained.But I know that if I don't find out, I'll regret it and hate myself for the rest of my life.
Let's say it doesn't work out, and he no longer feels anything for me...
It'll hurt and it'll take time, but at the very least I'll be able to move on without having to always wonder if he ever did love me, or did I really ever had a chance.Without having to regret that MAYBE if I would of done this and that, I could of had him.At least I'll know the truth.

[skydiver3]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

If the guy I was dating told me that - I'd tell him to go take his chance and have a nice life. Honestly - I wouldn't stand for someone treating me like that and I'd NEVER treat someone else like that.

I know it's kind of low but you have to try to understand it from his point of view.
I'm telling you, he NEVER mentioned other girls while we were exclusive and BEFORE he asked me if I loved him.
How would you feel if let's say you had feelings for a guy, and you asked him TWICE how does he feel, and he'd pretend he doesn't give a sh*t about you?
He probably doesn't even think he's being an a-hole because he HONESTLY believes that I don't care about him.
Or maybe he's just trying to hurt me as much as I hurt him when I didn't tell him I love him.
Of course I'm only assuming, but that's exactly the reason I'm going to tell him...I've made up my mind already, I don't care HOW I do it- before I jump off a plane or face to face or any other way, I'm still going to do it.
'Cause I can't stand living with that "maybe" anymore.I don't want to assume, I want TO KNOW.

Writing a love letter and reading it to him cannot compare with a text. Good grief. Telling someone you love them the first time isn't like asking someone to pick up some eggs for you at the store.

Prairieparson said "write a love letter" nothing about reading it to him.
If it's just written I don't think there's a difference if it's written on paper or on a phone.
Reading it to him is a different story...(that could be even harder than just saying it).

If I were on a plane with someone and he looked me in the eyes before we jumped out and told me he loved me - awesome.

Sitting at home, having my phone ring and my guy saying, "I love you. Gotta go jump out of a plane." Not awesome.

Do you not see the difference? In a movie - would both people be in the plane together, making eye contact, sharing a moment, sharing a kiss? Or would one person be sitting at home with a cell phone in their hand?

Unfortunately it's not an option taking him with me.He's not into extreme stuff like I am, I think he wouldn't skydive even if it was offered for free.