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How long do you think a couple should talk about getting married before a proposal is actually made?
We have dated seven months. We started talking about it two months ago. We have talked about which house to live in, what stuff to keep, his kids, finances and stuff like that. We have both been married before and he has three daughters, two of them live with him full time. He talked with them about it and said they were all for it. We both have good jobs, even though his is a bit up in the air right now; he won't lose his job but it might change soon because the company is in bankruptcy. If it gets bought out he may have to commute and/or be demoted.
I spend all my free time at his house; mine is more like a dorm room these days. I just sleep and shower there. Not sure we should be waiting. What do you think?
Why do you think you shouldn't be waiting? I'm not sure how well you can know someone after seven months. And you mentioned that you both started talking about it at five months.
And will it matter if something happens with his job?
So what do you stand to gain by marring sooner than later - other than paying less for rent?
First, you should let him pick the time and place. Don't rush, don't worry, just enjoy living life. Second, seven months is too short a time to discover and come to terms with the less attractive traits you and your partner each have. Give it a year and a half, at least. Some people recommend three years...it's strangely consistent.
Seven months isn't very long.
You've talked about it.
Let it percolate.
Go read all the relationship books, do all the quizzes, get to know his friends and family REALLY well...you're still in the honeymoon phase. Give it a couple of years to really get to know him.
How long do you think a couple should talk about getting married before a proposal is actually made?
We have dated seven months. We started talking about it two months ago. We have talked about which house to live in, what stuff to keep, his kids, finances and stuff like that. We have both been married before and he has three daughters, two of them live with him full time. He talked with them about it and said they were all for it. We both have good jobs, even though his is a bit up in the air right now; he won't lose his job but it might change soon because the company is in bankruptcy. If it gets bought out he may have to commute and/or be demoted.
I spend all my free time at his house; mine is more like a dorm room these days. I just sleep and shower there. Not sure we should be waiting. What do you think?
I think you need to give it at least another year. 7 months is nothing. Two years...minimum. Three is better. The other posters are right...you are still in a honeymoon phase of the relationship. You need to be beyond that before considering marriage. And stop spending all your time at his house. Good grief.
A year is enough time. These two have been married before and have presumably learned from their mistakes and know what they really want in a partner. I say things are on schedule, but most certainly don't push. Relax and wait.
As long as it takes for one to be ready to ask, and the other to be willing to accept.
These aren't always guaranteed to happen at the same time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42
How long do you think a couple should talk about getting married before a proposal is actually made?
What's the rush ?
It's not a badge of honour or something.
Enjoy your relationship without putting it under undue pressures.
Let it come to you, don't go chasing it.
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