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Old 06-04-2012, 09:19 AM
 
2,149 posts, read 4,136,953 times
Reputation: 1325

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Alright, quick back story, I've been dating this girl for about 4 months now, in a relationship for 3. We were driving to my house on Saturday, everything was fine. She has about 3 or 4 pairs of sunglasses in her car and she picked one out and said "maybe I should wear these" (but she didn't) and I asked, those are nice, who gave them to you. Turns out they were Aviator sunglasses that her ex from 8 years ago gave her. Fine, whatever.

Turns out she has about 4-5 bags (maybe more), brand name, Louis Vuitton bags that she still uses. Also gifts from her ex. The only comment I made to her was that it's weird that she still uses stuff her ex-boyfriend gave her. If it was 1 bag, whatever, the fact that it's 5, and she still uses them, makes it awkward. She said they don't mean anything to her, and that the reason why she still has them is because she can't afford them, and they are brand name purses. She tried to flip it and say "if your ex gave you your glasses that you're wearing, I would have a problem with it." Mind you, I need my glasses b/c my vision is ****. I'm not going to throw away prescription glasses just because an ex gave them to me. I need my glasses, she don't need a Louis Vuitton purse. Big difference.

I didn't ask her to throw them away, I didn't ask her to pawn it, even though she pawned off all the jewelry her ex gave her, and she threw away the clothes (but kept all the bags??), I just found it weird and she doesn't seem to understand that. She's perfectly fine with keeping them because she couldn't afford it on her own dime. I don't get it?

Edit: What pissed me off was that she went the "I shouldn't have told you" route. It's coming from the same person who has told me repeatedly that we need to be open and honest with each other, but then she pulls that line out. That irritated me, it's ok for her not to tell me things, but I have to spill everything about me?
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:22 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,275,762 times
Reputation: 5372
The only thing that would be a red flag would be wearing a ring that an ex gave her. Everything else should mean nothing.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,302,796 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep View Post
Alright, quick back story, I've been dating this girl for about 4 months now, in a relationship for 3. We were driving to my house on Saturday, everything was fine. She has about 3 or 4 pairs of sunglasses in her car and she picked one out and said "maybe I should wear these" (but she didn't) and I asked, those are nice, who gave them to you. Turns out they were Aviator sunglasses that her ex from 8 years ago gave her. Fine, whatever.

Turns out she has about 4-5 bags (maybe more), brand name, Louis Vuitton bags that she still uses. Also gifts from her ex. The only comment I made to her was that it's weird that she still uses stuff her ex-boyfriend gave her. If it was 1 bag, whatever, the fact that it's 5, and she still uses them, makes it awkward. She said they don't mean anything to her, and that the reason why she still has them is because she can't afford them, and they are brand name purses. She tried to flip it and say "if your ex gave you your glasses that you're wearing, I would have a problem with it." Mind you, I need my glasses b/c my vision is ****. I'm not going to throw away prescription glasses just because an ex gave them to me. I need my glasses, she don't need a Louis Vuitton purse. Big difference.

I didn't ask her to throw them away, I didn't ask her to pawn it, even though she pawned off all the jewelry her ex gave her, and she threw away the clothes (but kept all the bags??), I just found it weird and she doesn't seem to understand that. She's perfectly fine with keeping them because she couldn't afford it on her own dime. I don't get it?

Edit: What pissed me off was that she went the "I shouldn't have told you" route. It's coming from the same person who has told me repeatedly that we need to be open and honest with each other, but then she pulls that line out. That irritated me, it's ok for her not to tell me things, but I have to spill everything about me?
Break up with her - you are not ready for a real committed relationship. You are too jealous and insecure.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:24 AM
 
270 posts, read 407,790 times
Reputation: 624
You have GOT to be kidding. You're being unreasonable and insecure. Those are expensive items. I wouldn't get rid of them just because an old ex gave them to me. They don't necessarily have sentimental value; they're just good quality goods. I think you need to get over it.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,401 posts, read 30,807,449 times
Reputation: 16641
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep View Post
Alright, quick back story, I've been dating this girl for about 4 months now, in a relationship for 3. We were driving to my house on Saturday, everything was fine. She has about 3 or 4 pairs of sunglasses in her car and she picked one out and said "maybe I should wear these" (but she didn't) and I asked, those are nice, who gave them to you. Turns out they were Aviator sunglasses that her ex from 8 years ago gave her. Fine, whatever.

Turns out she has about 4-5 bags (maybe more), brand name, Louis Vuitton bags that she still uses. Also gifts from her ex. The only comment I made to her was that it's weird that she still uses stuff her ex-boyfriend gave her. If it was 1 bag, whatever, the fact that it's 5, and she still uses them, makes it awkward. She said they don't mean anything to her, and that the reason why she still has them is because she can't afford them, and they are brand name purses. She tried to flip it and say "if your ex gave you your glasses that you're wearing, I would have a problem with it." Mind you, I need my glasses b/c my vision is ****. I'm not going to throw away prescription glasses just because an ex gave them to me. I need my glasses, she don't need a Louis Vuitton purse. Big difference.

I didn't ask her to throw them away, I didn't ask her to pawn it, even though she pawned off all the jewelry her ex gave her, and she threw away the clothes (but kept all the bags??), I just found it weird and she doesn't seem to understand that. She's perfectly fine with keeping them because she couldn't afford it on her own dime. I don't get it?

Edit: What pissed me off was that she went the "I shouldn't have told you" route. It's coming from the same person who has told me repeatedly that we need to be open and honest with each other, but then she pulls that line out. That irritated me, it's ok for her not to tell me things, but I have to spill everything about me?
Wtf dude.. no one's gonna be on your side here you sound like a weirdo
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:27 AM
 
2,149 posts, read 4,136,953 times
Reputation: 1325
How is it weird tho? I never asked her to get rid of them, never did I mention that. I just said I found it weird, why am I the crazy guy?

She said she would have a problem if I wore a shirt, a dress shirt or a pair of boxers that an ex-girlfriend gave me, and she wouldn't want me to wear them because it's sentimental. But it's okay for her to carry a purse? I can't do something, but she can? That doesn't compute with me.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,302,796 times
Reputation: 40194
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep View Post
How is it weird tho? I never asked her to get rid of them, never did I mention that. I just said I found it weird, why am I the crazy guy?

She said she would have a problem if I wore a shirt, a dress shirt or a pair of boxers that an ex-girlfriend gave me, and she wouldn't want me to wear them because it's sentimental. But it's okay for her to carry a purse? I can't do something, but she can? That doesn't compute with me.
Okay, now you both sound too insecure for a grownup relationship
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:39 AM
 
270 posts, read 407,790 times
Reputation: 624
Jewelry is symbolic & intimate. Clothes are intimate. A handbag is a freaking handbag. And these are expensive. I think YOU are weird for being bothered by it.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:40 AM
 
3,670 posts, read 7,134,256 times
Reputation: 4269
most of the time i dont even remember which items of mine my exes gave me
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:46 AM
 
2,149 posts, read 4,136,953 times
Reputation: 1325
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Okay, now you both sound too insecure for a grownup relationship
Is it really insecurity? I didn't ask her to do anything, she wanted my opinion on the subject, I gave her my opinion and that was it. It's not like I gave her some ultimatum. I haven't even brought it up since we talked about it, but she keeps prodding and asking questions and went as far as to say she wouldn't carry around a purse her ex gave her while she's around me, which just makes the situation worse don't you think? Don't hide.
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