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Well kids change. Even though she may be spoiled and bratty at 12, doesn't mean that she will be that way when she is 15. Maybe you could potentially help to direct her in such a way that she feels loved but less entitled.
Good luck!
Yeah, and sometimes they morph into an even more difficult person as they become older.
Just wait for the teenage years........
Hmm id be a little skeptical first of all she wants to move in with you( does she want you to financially take care of her and her daughter?), her daughter is a spoiled brat (are you willing to put up with her ****e) and the daughters father isnt in her life. All of the above are red flags id think twice about the relationship things are moving way to fast.
I am 50 years old. My wife passed away almost 2 years ago. We had no kids. About 10 months ago I began a relationship with a 44 year old woman with a 12 year-old daughter. A high maintenance and spoiled 12 year old I might add. I am in love with this woman. No doubt in my mind. But at this point in my life I just don't know if I am ready or want to jump into a marriage with a child to boot.
I don't want to lose this woman but at the same time do not know if I am ready for a life with her and all that goes along with it. I don't want to sound selfish. If her child was 22 instead of 12 that would be different. The ex husband does not seem to want to put forth a lot of financial support toward his daughter so a lot of that would fall to me.
She wants to move in with me, and I know what I decide here will determine the continuation or ending of our relationship.
If you really love her, don't ask her to move in. Marry her. Otherwise, let her find someone who takes the entire package. It's insulting to ask for a shack-up.
I am 50 years old. My wife passed away almost 2 years ago. We had no kids. About 10 months ago I began a relationship with a 44 year old woman with a 12 year-old daughter. A high maintenance and spoiled 12 year old I might add. I am in love with this woman. No doubt in my mind. But at this point in my life I just don't know if I am ready or want to jump into a marriage with a child to boot.
I don't want to lose this woman but at the same time do not know if I am ready for a life with her and all that goes along with it. I don't want to sound selfish. If her child was 22 instead of 12 that would be different. The ex husband does not seem to want to put forth a lot of financial support toward his daughter so a lot of that would fall to me.
She wants to move in with me, and I know what I decide here will determine the continuation or ending of our relationship.
I'm curious-are you really, truely in love or are you in love with the idea of having the companionship of a woman after your wife's death? You met this woman barely a year after your wife passed away. How long were you married? Was it a happy and healthy marriage? I know several people who quickly got into relationships and marriage soon after the death of their spouse and sometimes I wonder if it's only to fill a void. If that's the case, I would take a step back and think about the whole situation. Whether the child is spoiled or not, you're 50 years old, never had children and would be taking on a HUGE responsibility. I'm hoping this woman isn't using you as a meal ticket considering the father isn't holding up his share of financial support. If you reject her moving in and she wishes to terminate the relationship then I think that will tell you a lot. There's no need for you 2 to move in together especially after only 10 month and it sounds like she'd be moving into YOUR house (I'm assuming it was your wife's home too?).
If you really love her, don't ask her to move in. Marry her. Otherwise, let her find someone who takes the entire package. It's insulting to ask for a shack-up.
He's not asking her - she is the one asking him. What's more insulting - her asking to move herself and her high maintainance daughter in or her expecting him to financially support the little brat?
I am 50 years old. My wife passed away almost 2 years ago. We had no kids. About 10 months ago I began a relationship with a 44 year old woman with a 12 year-old daughter. A high maintenance and spoiled 12 year old I might add. I am in love with this woman. No doubt in my mind. But at this point in my life I just don't know if I am ready or want to jump into a marriage with a child to boot.
I don't want to lose this woman but at the same time do not know if I am ready for a life with her and all that goes along with it. I don't want to sound selfish. If her child was 22 instead of 12 that would be different. The ex husband does not seem to want to put forth a lot of financial support toward his daughter so a lot of that would fall to me.
She wants to move in with me, and I know what I decide here will determine the continuation or ending of our relationship.
Oh good grief - end the relationship already!
If you don't want a child in your life, that's your prerogative.
But you cannot expect to keep a woman while rejecting her child - at least any woman worth having.
I was insane at 12. A pretty good kid overall, but insane at 12. But if you don't like the kid, then don't move in with the mother, because what this little girl needs is a dad - and you're not willing to be that. Honestly? If you don't want to be a parent, don't get involved with someone with kids - even if the kid has two fully functioning parents, dating one of those parents still entails some required parenting (essentially, much of the burden, with none of the rewards guaranteed).
In any case, you just lost your wife - 2 years is NOTHING and your girlfriend's pressuring you to move in with her. That's a signal to back away in and of itself.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff1960
I am 50 years old. My wife passed away almost 2 years ago. We had no kids. About 10 months ago I began a relationship with a 44 year old woman with a 12 year-old daughter. A high maintenance and spoiled 12 year old I might add. I am in love with this woman. No doubt in my mind. But at this point in my life I just don't know if I am ready or want to jump into a marriage with a child to boot.
I don't want to lose this woman but at the same time do not know if I am ready for a life with her and all that goes along with it. I don't want to sound selfish. If her child was 22 instead of 12 that would be different. The ex husband does not seem to want to put forth a lot of financial support toward his daughter so a lot of that would fall to me.
She wants to move in with me, and I know what I decide here will determine the continuation or ending of our relationship.
Red flags to me. You are not ready for this level. If she can't understand it and you lose her so be it. Moving in would create a trainwreck down the road.
Stay away. You met this woman - you'll meet someone else. The daughter is a dealbreaker to me. Potential for too much drama and insanity there. Don't do it.
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