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(but I also didn't want him to think I wasn't interested, because he has his own insecurities, but clearly since our date I've returned his calls and followed through ...)
And that is all you should do. If it moves you at some point this week, call him and invite him to meet for coffee at some sweet little outside cafe so you can visit in person again. Let things just build naturally. Face it, you said you two had been facebook friends for years....obviously neither of you are pushy or fast...don't expect that to change after one date and a couple of texts. Take things as they come. It did sound as though he was interested in doing things with you...what you and he are deciding is whether this is a "friend" situation....or possibly more...Time will tell. I don't have a problem personally asking a guy to do something, especially something you and he had discussed, what's the harm...
And that is all you should do. If it moves you at some point this week, call him and invite him to meet for coffee at some sweet little outside cafe so you can visit in person again. Let things just build naturally. Face it, you said you two had been facebook friends for years....obviously neither of you are pushy or fast...don't expect that to change after one date and a couple of texts. Take things as they come. It did sound as though he was interested in doing things with you...what you and he are deciding is whether this is a "friend" situation....or possibly more...Time will tell. I don't have a problem personally asking a guy to do something, especially something you and he had discussed, what's the harm...
Thank you. Most of all I don't want to act like a crazy person, which is what I was feeling when I saw he was on match (and online on match). If it works it works.
And that is all you should do. If it moves you at some point this week, call him and invite him to meet for coffee at some ...
I disagree with this. Do NOT contact him. He is aware that you followed through, and that you seem interested. Trust me, he knows. You guys had a great date, you were receptive both during and after date, etc. Believe me, he knows. I cant stress this enough.
Leave it alone. If this man wants to see you again, he WILL make the effort. If he doesnt, then you know. Leave it alone. Dont ask him out..nothing. He knows how to contact you. It's not about you playing hard to get. He knows you guys had a great time and you are receptive. Believe me. He may just not be feeling it anymore. Dont do a thing unless he inititiates. You did your part.
I disagree with this. Do NOT contact him. He is aware that you followed through, and that you seem interested. Trust me, he knows. You guys had a great date, you were receptive both during and after date, etc. Believe me, he knows. I cant stress this enough.
Leave it alone. If this man wants to see you again, he WILL make the effort. If he doesnt, then you know. Leave it alone. Dont ask him out..nothing. He knows how to contact you. It's not about you playing hard to get. He knows you guys had a great time and you are receptive. Believe me. He may just not be feeling it anymore. Dont do a thing unless he inititiates. You did your part.
I absolutely am going to leave it alone. But ... can I at least make an argument that he got scared off. like hypothetically let's say he talked to his best friend and said "I met this woman, I really like her ... she might be forced to move away in a few weeks" and his best friend (just for example) said "whoa! be careful!".
Running to match just reeks of impulsivity. Like, the world won't end if someone is single for a little bit, so what's the sudden rush to match.com? It's almost like "that was moving too fast, let me branch out here ...". That's how it feels. Just my instinct from knowing all of the facts ... and I'm usually right about these things, even if it's hard to get others to validate it ... because it would make sense for everyone to assume something else was happening.
Something else also occurred to me (and I realize I'm trying to feel better about this in my own head). When he first asked me out I made clear that the appropriate time would be when my daughter was out of town visiting her father. (Initially this had been 2 weeks away). And then my 2 day trip was to go and pick up my daughter. So maybe he just figured that I was unavailable until she goes for another visit. He did ask for the dates, and they are not too far away.
So ultimately the only negative is that he's on match.com.
I'm really sorry this happened to you, but it sounds like he's done. Who knows why. Maybe he met someone else, he's busy, he got scared off, really it could be anything, but it probably has little to do with you. You didn't do anything wrong, so don't beat yourself up. Get yourself back on match and start exploring other possibilities. I've learned a lot of lessons the hard way with online dating. Even if the first date is fantastic don't read too much into it. I had fantastic out of this world first dates with two different guys I met on match only for them to blow me off a couple months later. In my experience a lot of guys on there are either looking for FWB...or they are so desperate they're ready to marry you after only a couple dates. If I meet someone I really like then I usually stop looking, but I think that's a mistake. Don't be exclusive or even think about it until you are 100% sure the guy is on the same page. Keep your chin up! Dating sucks, but you'll find someone better who doesn't fill your head with great plans he has zero intentions of following up on.
Agreed, I understand. The signs are not favorable. That said, it's literally only been like a couple of days. So maybe I'm just "acting crazy" and am just not up for this emotionally. Which I think is a given under the circumstances.
Something else also occurred to me (and I realize I'm trying to feel better about this in my own head). When he first asked me out I made clear that the appropriate time would be when my daughter was out of town visiting her father. (Initially this had been 2 weeks away). And then my 2 day trip was to go and pick up my daughter. So maybe he just figured that I was unavailable until she goes for another visit. He did ask for the dates, and they are not too far away.
So ultimately the only negative is that he's on match.com.
Now you're trying to rationalize. Sure it's only been a couple of days but it's been a couple of days. If he didn't follow up and make plans for the dates that he knew you would be available then it's safe to assume that he may not be interested in meeting again. Men usually don't play games. As I said before both of you should concentrate each of your mental and other forms of 'houses' in order before you guys date anyone.
He called last night and asked me out again. So I think we can assume that I am a complete, complete ... ugh, I think the issue is my own fragility. I should have just waited.
So we went out a week ago; he called me the next day, then 2 days later, then 3 days later to ask me out (left message), then the next day left a message, then the next day we talked and arranged a next date. So he's interested and we see each other again in 3 days.
But then why is he logging onto match.com every day?
(and yes, on the one hand I know I shouldn't check, but on the other hand I'm glad I know, I basically just peek once a day to see if he's been on and he's on a lot, what do people do all that time on match? are they just searching around or are they emailing or what?)
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