Amazing first date, what do I do now ... (dating, girlfriend, girl)
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I had a first date on Friday with someone I had been facebook friends with for a few years but never met (we had started talking on the phone, really hit it off). It was like a "10", and the entire time he was talking about places we should try, places we should go together, we closed the restaurant ... and then he called me the next day (I was leaving town for 2 days) and he told me to let him know as soon as I made it back. And he had followed up on all kinds of things we had talked about, places, people, ... he had charted my trip and had suggestions for the route I should take, ... and kept talking about events in town generally ("oh there's this thing every summer") and I was like "great"!
Then last night I texted him that I was home from my trip and he said (texted) to call if I was up for it, if not another night. And I called and it was a good conversation, but no future plans, no places in town, no summer events, just a run through of what was going on .... It was somewhat distant ... I don't know what I possibly could have done wrong, there's no way I came off as too pushy, and he also couldn't be interpreting me as not interested because I followed through, called him back Saturday and last night ... and I know he was interested, his face lit up when he first saw me ...
Relax. It seems to me that too many people get waaaaayyyyyy toooooooooo worked up over these first few dates and totally blow it.
Don't txt or call unless he does it first.. Allow yourself to be a slight mystery. Don't over share. Let him make the next few moves. You already know you are interested. Give him SPACE to reciprocate.
(but I also didn't want him to think I wasn't interested, because he has his own insecurities, but clearly since our date I've returned his calls and followed through ...)
Don't txt or call unless he does it first.. Allow yourself to be a slight mystery. Don't over share. Let him make the next few moves. You already know you are interested. Give him SPACE to reciprocate.
If you are talking about reciprocating, shouldn’t she also take him out? The whole “don’t call him, let him continue to look for you, make him beg…” ideology can backfire and simply send the message to a guy know that a girl is not interested in him since she doesn't call, doesn't text, etc. just sits there waiting for him to do something.
Why not simply be honest about the whole thing and if she/he wants to call, she/he will do it.
If you are talking about reciprocating, shouldn’t she also take him out? The whole “don’t call him, let him continue to look for you, make him beg…” ideology can backfire and simply send the message to a guy know that a girl is not interested in him since she doesn't call, doesn't text, etc. just sits there waiting for him to do something.
Why not simply be honest about the whole thing and if she/he wants to call, she/he will do it.
Well there's clearly a right way of playing "hard to get" that doesn't send him/her adverse signals, but also doesn't give the farm away.
I think an early, balanced relationship needs that middle ground - when you feel as wanted, as you want him/her.
Seems that the OP was being a bit too easy/desperate in the beginning and that might've led to his pulling back a bit...
Relax. It seems to me that too many people get waaaaayyyyyy toooooooooo worked up over these first few dates and totally blow it.
Don't txt or call unless he does it first.. Allow yourself to be a slight mystery. Don't over share. Let him make the next few moves. You already know you are interested. Give him SPACE to reciprocate.
Yep, guilty as charged! With my most recent ex-girlfriend, we met on a Saturday and talked all afternoon at a restaurant. Sparks were flying. Walked her to her car and kissed her (that just doesn't happen on a first meeting). By the following Wednesday, we were exclusive, changed facebook status, etc. It was insane. Well, fast forward 3 months and she ends it for no reason! I think part of it was we just went way too fast. However, I was still so into her. So it was a huge disappointment for me. Anyway, I don't know why, but thats the danger in getting too worked up too quickly. I won't do that again!
I'd just let it go. You called him back and chatted. I'd wait to see if he invites you to do something in the next week or so. Dating is really hard. It's tough not to play games and make your open and available, but to not come off as pushy or desperate. To not move too fast, but not go so slow that you end up wasting time on something that's not going anywhere (that just happened to me ugh). I know it's hard but just try to relax. Do the things you'd normally do and don't sit around waiting on him!
I had a first date on Friday with someone I had been facebook friends with for a few years but never met (we had started talking on the phone, really hit it off). It was like a "10", and the entire time he was talking about places we should try, places we should go together, we closed the restaurant ... and then he called me the next day (I was leaving town for 2 days) and he told me to let him know as soon as I made it back. And he had followed up on all kinds of things we had talked about, places, people, ... he had charted my trip and had suggestions for the route I should take, ... and kept talking about events in town generally ("oh there's this thing every summer") and I was like "great"!
Then last night I texted him that I was home from my trip and he said (texted) to call if I was up for it, if not another night. And I called and it was a good conversation, but no future plans, no places in town, no summer events, just a run through of what was going on .... It was somewhat distant ... I don't know what I possibly could have done wrong, there's no way I came off as too pushy, and he also couldn't be interpreting me as not interested because I followed through, called him back Saturday and last night ... and I know he was interested, his face lit up when he first saw me ...
Let him make the next move.
What you wrote is telling me that he might be changing his mind. If so these things happen.
Don't worry about it. It doesn't appear you did anything wrong.
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