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You're always the girl in the group that guys (that you focus on and prefer) rarely notice or approach.
It's always the other women around you at work or school who guys socialize with and try to get to know.
...I feel that i have no value if I can't attract (those) men as often as other women.
edited for clarity and perspective
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How do you keep a positive mind and not always feel down and depressed?
Whatever objective basis that distinguishes you from some women...
is sure to also distinguish a large pool of men from other men. Look for the other outliers.
Don't be afraid to be a bit bold.
You're always the girl in the group that guys rarely notice or approach. it's always the other women around you at work or school who guys socialize with and try to get to know.
How do you keep a positive mind and not always feel down and depressed? There are other women who are like that and I see that they are not phased. They still keep a good attitude. but it does get to me, and makes me depressed and not want to go to work the next day. It affects my work performance, I have a hard time concentrating because I feel that i have no value if I can't attract men as often as other women.
If you found one guy who truly appreciated you and because he truly did, you could just tell, feel it, and know it, would you be satisfied or would you still need attention from other men when you saw others getting attention?
I was everyone's friend and no one's lover. That was my place in life. I was also too intelligent. Add that to ugly and you have the kiss of death. I was fat too. The triple whammy. I was always the one sitting at home studying on Saturday night. Or reading a book.
Consequently, I got a great education and made a lot of money. Decent jobs etc. I married the guy who asked me and yes, I settled for less. I shouldn't have done that.
Time passed and all the women who dated the great guys started looking all used up. And for my age, I started looking pretty good. I lost a lot of weight and even started looking pretty hot(again, for my age). Whoa... for the first time in my life men(as in more than one) were interested in me. How did that happen? I was still the same person minus the candy coating. I decided to not question it too much and just enjoy. And I am having a ball.
Sometimes, the odd do get even. Try hard not to become bitter. Do the best you can with what you have. Just find other things in life to enjoy and live your life to the max. Never settle. If love finds you, great. If not, you will have few regrets.
By finding something to stand out. Have you seen a female athlete? No makeup, androgynous bodies. People fall over her abilities/accomplishments. Picking one thing and developing it would do you self-respect and other people will notice. It is a longer-lasting solution than the skin-deep prettiness that will fade. Could be an athletic pursuit or artsy/cultural. It IS hard, though, to practice something in isolation sometimes. But you know the alternative already.
I don't think most female athletes have androgynous bodies. But nice advice otherwise.
You have to find a way to get over this issue even if it means getting professional help. Even if you are the best looking and most desirable woman in the world you have to realize that good looks don't last a lifetime. Every attractive person ages and the attention dwindles as the looks fade. Beyonce is going to look like Ruby Dee someday and Jessica Simpson will turn into Jessica Tandy eventually! If you only care about getting male attention then you are going to spend your life being very unhappy. Are you telling me that you get ZERO male attention or are you mad because other women get more than you?
Yes....but as 90-year-olds go, they both look(ed) great.
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Why are you such an ego-maniac that you feel the need to have all eyes on you? Are you telling us that absolutely NO ONE wants you? I find that hard to believe. Even that chick who played Precious had a bf. It's all about self-confidence. It's about how you carry yourself. Do you keep tidy? Dress well? Walk with confidence? You need to work with what you got.
Yeah, she did......after she made that movie and had some money.
Nothing short of surgery, which could really make you into a freak. You can't do anything about this. They can tell you all day long it's your 'attitude' but that's not the answer. Bottom line, with the exception of work, they don't know the attitude of any of these very attractive women before they talk to them, shower them with attention. The reason they're approaching them in the first place is because they look good .....Did you ever have a very positive outlook on things and 'beleive it will all work out' as long as you're nice and friendly? Same results, right? Did you ever change your entire look (to the best of your ability)? Same results, right? It's ashame this issue is affecting your work performance. Understand there's many women who may as well be coat racks in the room with these men, not just you. They don't understand nor do they care how difficult it is to work under those conditions for the 'rest of us.' Again, I'm sorry to tell you, all you can do is ACCEPT that you have dark skin (which nothing wrong with in the first place) and ACCEPT that you were not born as attractive as other women. *shrugs*
Are you saying she has this problem because she's dark skin? Are you serious?
Consider changing your environment. You can be the most lovely, positive, agreeable woman that ever lived, but if the men in your environment are not checking for your type, regardless of what it is, it won't matter. Its like an actress living in a place where the arts are despised and held in low regard. That environment will not change how they feel about the actress. The actress has to simply remove herself from that environment, and go where she is wanted.
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.....Did you ever have a very positive outlook on things and 'beleive it will all work out' as long as you're nice and friendly? Same results, right? Did you ever change your entire look (to the best of your ability)? Same results, right? It's ashame this issue is affecting your work performance. Understand there's many women who may as well be coat racks in the room with these men, not just you. They don't understand nor do they care how difficult it is to work under those conditions for the 'rest of us.' Again, I'm sorry to tell you, all you can do is ACCEPT that you have dark skin (which nothing wrong with in the first place) and ACCEPT that you were not born as attractive as other women. *shrugs*
