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My DH died almost seven years ago. I have moved twice since then and most of his things were given away. My son still has his car and I don't like to ride in it, still smells like his car.
What I have moved from place to place are his buisness records and estate stuff. Now I can shred it all, as I had heard that you should keep those kinds of records seven years in case of a tax audit. I began shredding some of the older stuff a month ago, but it brought back too many memories. I think I will check out a shred-it company.
Two and a half years ago I began to date. I did that for a year. Met several very nice men. One that made me realize that I could have feelings for a man again. He and I were in two different places in our lives, so I ended the relationship, but it was a gift to have met him, as I know that for me love is possible again.
I know what you mean about feeling as though you are betraying your wife. I felt that way. My SIL pushed me to date and I had to push myself- would find myself standing at the bathroom mirror, getting ready to go on a date asking myself, "What the he!! am I doing?!
It's been over a year since I have been out with a guy. When I was in "dating mode" I had a number of men ask me out. Now that I am not, none do. I think we send vibes or something! A couple of times men have approached me and it wasn't until after they were out of range that I realized it. We see what we are looking to see, I guess.
I think it will be good for you to get out and do some fun stuff. Not date, necessarily, but just widen your world so to speak. There are lots of wonderful things out there and you are missing out on them. As has been posted by others- your wife would not want you to be a shut in. And your kids are hurting for you. Making some changes will be a gift to them and a tribute to your wife.
big dawg 1 first let me thank you for your service to our country and giving my family the right to live in a free country.
My sympathy on your losses and will keep you in my prayers. Reading parts of your story sounded familiar to me so I know how heavy your heart must of been at times. If you can find healing from posting here by all means do that. I bet your wife wouldn't want you to stop living but instead enjoy what time you have left and share it with your children! Change your focus to live and be happy for them, remember they also lost their mother. You sound like a nice guy spread that around brother you might be surprised what comes back to you.
Hey, I hope you take that trip out west and enjoy yourself...have a little fun and get some sun. Maybe swing by the kids and pick one up for your trip, if possible.
Keep writing. It's good to put your thoughts out there.
If you have any prayer requests, feel free to put them out there.
Rooting For You.
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