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Old 06-19-2012, 11:46 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,154,138 times
Reputation: 2119

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I am talking to a couple different women on OKCupid at the present time. 3 of them have given me their numbers in the last few days. One of them I called Thursday. She texted me back Friday (apologizing for not returning via phone call) saying she was going out of town for the weekend and wanted to know my plans for Tuesday and Wednesday. I said I had Wednesday open and that she should give me a call when she gets back in town on Sunday. She said sure and that we should plan on Wednesday. She didn't call Sunday. I called last night (Monday) and left her a message. She didn't call back last night.

So the reason this is an issue is more about time management than anything else. I am super busy between work, networking events for work, traveling to an expo for work most of next week, baseball on weekends, guitar lessons, etc. Wednesday is like the only free night I have for like 2 weeks. If this girl isn't going to confirm or at least call me back and let me know what's up with Wednesday, I would REALLY like to use that night to call one of the other girls and ask them out for a drink.

I'm almost at that point where I want to just say screw it with this girl and make plans with another girl. If the first girl ends up calling me tonight or something I'll just tell her my schedule filled up and that I'll give her a call when I'm back in town after my business trip next week.

Anyone else been in this situation? I don't want to be rude and break a date, but at the same time it doesn't seem like I have very solid confirmation. I've online dated a lot in the past and I'm well aware of the flaky tendencies of people. I'd hate to waste my only open night this week.
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Old 06-19-2012, 11:55 AM
 
270 posts, read 408,700 times
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She said she'd call Sunday to set something up. It's Tuesday. You're free to do anything you want on Wednesday. If she gets in touch after you've made other plans, just politely tell her that since you didn't hear from her, you made other plans. Period. If she's really interested, she'll make another effort.
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Old 06-19-2012, 12:01 PM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,021,234 times
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Am I the only one who doesn't see a problem? You don't have plans with this relative stranger. Therefore, it's not rude to cancel on these non-plans with this person you don't know.
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Old 06-19-2012, 12:10 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,154,138 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post
Am I the only one who doesn't see a problem? You don't have plans with this relative stranger. Therefore, it's not rude to cancel on these non-plans with this person you don't know.
I guess I do agree with you. If it was really important that she wanted to go out with me she would've called when she said, and she would've at least called me back last night.

I'll give the other women a call while I'm stuck in traffic on the way back to the city tonight.
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Old 06-19-2012, 12:13 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,128,467 times
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So you call them and they reply by text?

That would be a deal breaker for me. If someone cannot even be bothered enough for an actual conversation, they're not worth your time.
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:08 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,154,138 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
So you call them and they reply by text?

That would be a deal breaker for me. If someone cannot even be bothered enough for an actual conversation, they're not worth your time.
It was one time, she had just finished school and was in a car with her parents traveling to a vacation spot. I don't expect her to call me at that point. I would have done the same. That's not the issue here.
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:42 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,088,952 times
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You didn't have solid plans and she didn't follow through on confirming, you're free to do as you please.
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Old 06-19-2012, 02:13 PM
 
Location: NYC
545 posts, read 907,301 times
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Lol! Isn't this a no brainer????
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Old 06-19-2012, 03:02 PM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,944,891 times
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Your letting someone you never met dictate your schedule.

Forget that. Make plans. The worst that happens is she calls last minute to do something. You tell her know.

Sounds like she isn't that interested anyway. Text back instead of a call the first time. Then doesn't return your second call.
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Old 06-20-2012, 07:29 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,154,138 times
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UPDATE: So as I was driving back to the city after a networking event last night I called the other two women who had given their numbers via email on OKCupid and left them both voicemails. Then about 30 min later THIS girl called me back. We chatted a little bit and she wanted to know if we were still on for Wednesday night. Since I was still open I said sure and we made a date to grab drinks tomorrow night after work.

I also met a girl at the networking event who was pretty cute and I think she was flirting with me. I talked with her much longer than I usually talk to anyone at those events because the goal is to meet as many people as possible for potential new business opportunity. She gave me her card and said we should grab coffee sometime to discuss leads and opportunities that we can share.

Then I met up with a friend of mine from out of town who was in the city for work and I went out with her and a couple of her lady friends who also lived in the city. One of them told my friend that she thinks I'm really cute and my friend urged me to ask her out, so I'm going out for drinks with that girl on Friday night.

My initial train of thought here is that I've got too much going on and I can't juggle all these women, but I know the truth is that over half these women will flake or drop me without warning at some point so having a lot of options at this point is a very good thing.

Only problem is: I don't feel the same way I used to when I dated. I don't get excited to go out with someone, I don't really care as much about what they have to say, I don't feel as enthusiastic when I'm on the date with them. It's just like "eh, whatever" to me. I think my last breakup ruined me of that, I don't know how I can ever get excited for dating again. I go out not really caring what happens, whether they like me and want a relationship, just want to hook up, or they don't want to go out again....I'm truly indifferent to what happens. I don't know if this is good or bad.
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