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Your beautifull. That is not one of your problems. I saw two pictures of you so far and both show a beautifull woman. The one at the beach is great but i also love a woman in a dress. You look great so don't use that as a problem for your lack of dates. That is unless the male population in Denver is blind or all of them are Gay.
Not sure what it is exactly that you are looking for. I can tell you this that Mr. Perfect is not out there. Everyone, girl and guy, has something that can be a problem for the other party. Maybe make a list of what you are looking for in a guy. Categorize everything into an a grading chart. Your A grade list is the have to have. The B list is the wish I could have but will be willing to negotiate. The C list is the I want this but it is not a deal breaker if the man of your dreams has that or not. You could add a D list as the things that the guy can not have at all. Save the F grade for anyone that you will not consider. (Married men are on the F list.) (Oh wait that is me and I am thinking that is bad because you are beautifull.)
First off, hi! I'm a single gal in Denver as well! They say this city is menver, but I feel skeptical about that. I've had the same problem as you...lots of guys who want to date and be casual for a month or two, but when it comes to really being in a relationship...nope. You're attractive and you seem smart and normal. I know I'm attractive and a good catch, I'm sure you are too. Sometimes finding the right person is just about luck. Being in the right place at the right time, meeting the other person when they're available and looking for the same things you are. I've met two guys I really liked using match...things were great for awhile, then poof...off they went. It happens. I've had fun on match though. I enjoy meeting a new person and going out to a new place for a drink. You really have to try to be casual because if you put too much into it you become your own worst enemy, trust me.
I think moving soley to find a relationship is a really terrible idea. Especially if you're happy here otherwise. I have two girlfriends who recently met really nice guys who want relationships using online dating. They're out there! Having a group of girlfriends to hang out with and staying busy really help me focus less on feeling upset about being single. Don't give up, the right guy is out there for you. If you ever want to meet up for drinks let me know! Us single girls have to stick together!
great points! thanks! I definately want to meet more friends here, to really enjoy more about "Men"-ver! ha, There may be a lot of men here, but it does't mean they are great or even availabe!
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
First off, hi! I'm a single gal in Denver as well! They say this city is menver, but I feel skeptical about that. I've had the same problem as you...lots of guys who want to date and be casual for a month or two, but when it comes to really being in a relationship...nope. You're attractive and you seem smart and normal. I know I'm attractive and a good catch, I'm sure you are too. Sometimes finding the right person is just about luck. Being in the right place at the right time, meeting the other person when they're available and looking for the same things you are. I've met two guys I really liked using match...things were great for awhile, then poof...off they went. It happens. I've had fun on match though. I enjoy meeting a new person and going out to a new place for a drink. You really have to try to be casual because if you put too much into it you become your own worst enemy, trust me.
I think moving soley to find a relationship is a really terrible idea. Especially if you're happy here otherwise. I have two girlfriends who recently met really nice guys who want relationships using online dating. They're out there! Having a group of girlfriends to hang out with and staying busy really help me focus less on feeling upset about being single. Don't give up, the right guy is out there for you. If you ever want to meet up for drinks let me know! Us single girls have to stick together!
well, I wonder. I don't feel I am actively "looking" when I go out. So, when I get approached. I give the guy an equal chance, just like the last one. I stay the same. They are the ones that turn out to be losers or criticize me with their little digs, etc. I don't actively seek them out, they seem to come to me. I don't know what it is about me that makes them come up to me, because I won't date them. It's not like I seek them out, date them then get rid of them. As soon as I sense they are getting weird or say something rude to me, I'm out.
You dont need to actually be the "pursuor" to actively seek out the same dudes. What is it about them that make them "losers" or "weird" or otherwise undesirable in your opinion? Is it their clothes? The way they look? What they do? What they drive?
I can understand that maybe a good number of dudes who approach you are "creepers", but thats probably the case with most women though. Usually the most aggressive males are also the most likely to only want sex.
You say that you arent "actively looking" and wait to be approached. Maybe thats some of the issue. Maybe you need to be more aggressive. I would consider myself a pretty good guy, and my wife was definately the one who initially pursued me. Many stable and "nice" guys simply arent that aggressive when it comes to the pursuit of women. Some are afraid of rejection, others are simply jaded from getting burnt and are afraid it will happen again.
Now, the analytical side of me would suggest developing an algorithm or at very least a weighted decision process for defining exactly what you are looking for, but really, you can just sit there and make a list of everything you are looking for, and then figure out where people with those qualities hang out, and then dive in.
For instance, what you are looking for is probably not hanging out at the sports bar watching a Broncos game or in the cheap seats with a pitcher of beer and a 2lb chili cheese dog occupying his hands yelling at Todd Helton.
one of the posters said that it must be me that guys don't want. and to some extent, I guess he's right, the vibe I get from a lot of guys and my dating luck in general, is that "I don't see having a relationship with you."
now, they don't say these exact words, but that is the vibe or message I am getting. But I wish it could be pinpointed exactly what it is about me that is undesireable. I was able to get engaged, being the same person I am now, so there must be something desireable about me. But lately, it must all be UN-desireable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomdude
Why do you think this way? Have multiple guys sat you down and said "I have no interest in you specifically for a relationship"?
It's not clothes or a car, or job that makes them this way. It's the fact that they are married and flat out asking me to be their sexual hook up or affair. It's making little passive aggressive insults about me or something about me. THe face they only want a casual hook up and not to actually date.
I'm very afraid of rejection, I've been rejected constantly. But sometimes, I've asked a guy out and it worked out for a month or two.
I don't where the guy I'm looking for is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomdude
You dont need to actually be the "pursuor" to actively seek out the same dudes. What is it about them that make them "losers" or "weird" or otherwise undesirable in your opinion? Is it their clothes? The way they look? What they do? What they drive?
I can understand that maybe a good number of dudes who approach you are "creepers", but thats probably the case with most women though. Usually the most aggressive males are also the most likely to only want sex.
You say that you arent "actively looking" and wait to be approached. Maybe thats some of the issue. Maybe you need to be more aggressive. I would consider myself a pretty good guy, and my wife was definately the one who initially pursued me. Many stable and "nice" guys simply arent that aggressive when it comes to the pursuit of women. Some are afraid of rejection, others are simply jaded from getting burnt and are afraid it will happen again.
Now, the analytical side of me would suggest developing an algorithm or at very least a weighted decision process for defining exactly what you are looking for, but really, you can just sit there and make a list of everything you are looking for, and then figure out where people with those qualities hang out, and then dive in.
For instance, what you are looking for is probably not hanging out at the sports bar watching a Broncos game or in the cheap seats with a pitcher of beer and a 2lb chili cheese dog occupying his hands yelling at Todd Helton.
one of the posters said that it must be me that guys don't want. and to some extent, I guess he's right, the vibe I get from a lot of guys and my dating luck in general, is that "I don't see having a relationship with you."
now, they don't say these exact words, but that is the vibe or message I am getting. But I wish it could be pinpointed exactly what it is about me that is undesireable. I was able to get engaged, being the same person I am now, so there must be something desireable about me. But lately, it must all be UN-desireable.
I don't think it's you. Some guys just don't want relationships. Period. If the hottest woman in the world approached them they'd treat her the same way. A lot of the dating pool on match are guys in their 30's. I dated two of them...neither of them had ever been married, lived with a woman, or even really been that serious. Red flag. Focus on guys who seem to want what you do and if you get the vibe they aren't going to stick around long term move on. I have wasted way too much time thinking a guy would change his mind or morph into what I wanted.
It's not clothes or a car, or job that makes them this way. It's the fact that they are married and flat out asking me to be their sexual hook up or affair. It's making little passive aggressive insults about me or something about me. THe face they only want a casual hook up and not to actually date.
I'm very afraid of rejection, I've been rejected constantly. But sometimes, I've asked a guy out and it worked out for a month or two.
I don't where the guy I'm looking for is.
Well, do you know what you are looking for? That is step 1.
What is it about them that make them "losers" or "weird" or otherwise undesirable in your opinion? Is it their clothes? The way they look? What they do? What they drive?
You say that you arent "actively looking" and wait to be approached. Maybe thats some of the issue. Maybe you need to be more aggressive. I would consider myself a pretty good guy, and my wife was definately the one who initially pursued me. Many stable and "nice" guys simply arent that aggressive when it comes to the pursuit of women. Some are afraid of rejection, others are simply jaded from getting burnt and are afraid it will happen again.
She said some of them make offensive comments, or subtle little digs at her. I've been around guys who really have no idea how to talk to women. They end up saying things that are offensive to women without knowing it or intending to. There's all kinds out there.
You're right about sometimes the woman needs to make the first move, and about the nice guys generally not being aggressive, or having confidence. Women who wait for the guy to make the first move will lose out on some great guys.
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