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Old 06-21-2012, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
5,522 posts, read 10,181,285 times
Reputation: 2572

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
She said some of them make offensive comments, or subtle little digs at her. I've been around guys who really have no idea how to talk to women. They end up saying things that are offensive to women without knowing it or intending to. There's all kinds out there.
I saw she said that, but my point was, all of them make comments or digs? I find that impossible. There are creepers, and guys who cant talk to women (my brother is embarassingly akward around women and says the most inappropriate stuff), but I cant believe that has been 100% of her experience. Thats all I was trying to get at.
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Old 06-21-2012, 04:04 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
It's not clothes or a car, or job that makes them this way. It's the fact that they are married and flat out asking me to be their sexual hook up or affair. It's making little passive aggressive insults about me or something about me. THe face they only want a casual hook up and not to actually date.
This is a bit freaky. I don't blame you for being confused or freaked out. Are these guys from online sites, or guys who approach you in real life? I can't imagine why they would treat you that way, you look tasteful, high self-esteem and nice in your photo. Where/how do you meet these guys?

I wonder if it's the sweet-young-thing look? I look a lot younger than my years, and I went through a phase of attracting married men and pedophiles. That wouldn't explain the passive-aggressive insults, though. Are there opportunities to meet people through work?
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Old 06-21-2012, 04:07 PM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,322,103 times
Reputation: 43047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This is a bit freaky. I don't blame you for being confused or freaked out. Are these guys from online sites, or guys who approach you in real life? I can't imagine why they would treat you that way, you look tasteful, high self-esteem and nice in your photo. Where/how do you meet these guys?

I wonder if it's the sweet-young-thing look? I look a lot younger than my years, and I went through a phase of attracting married men and pedophiles. That wouldn't explain the passive-aggressive insults, though. Are there opportunities to meet people through work?
Interestingly, my mother has been finding herself propositioned by married men quite frequently in her active senior housing complex. She's horrified, and it has her very upset. I think the fact that there are fewer men than women makes the men in that situation feel like they can get away with whatever they want (because of their high value), so the ones who are jerks feel a bit more free to be bigger jerks.
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Old 06-21-2012, 04:23 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Interestingly, my mother has been finding herself propositioned by married men quite frequently in her active senior housing complex. She's horrified, and it has her very upset. I think the fact that there are fewer men than women makes the men in that situation feel like they can get away with whatever they want (because of their high value), so the ones who are jerks feel a bit more free to be bigger jerks.
How distressing for your mom! The numbers favor men, so that allows them to behave like pigs?! And the men actually think their "approach" will work??
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Old 06-21-2012, 04:30 PM
 
896 posts, read 1,473,783 times
Reputation: 2188
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
I really don't know what behavior I'm doing. "they" say men can detect desparation and whatever, but when I do go places, I don't feel I am sending any messages at all. I am not desparate. If I talk to a guy, it's just casual banter. How can that send any messages? I think I carry myself well, I just live life, I don't send any messages that I'm aware of. I wish someone could tell me!
Lesson number 1. There is no such thing as a desparate beautiful woman. Write it down. Tatoo it on your forehead.

Litterally every mans dream, whether you realize it or not, is a beautiful woman who needs him, and needs him badly.

Forget about what vibe you are sending. If you look like Megan Fox you can send the "brain dead vibe", the "need marriage now" vibe, or the "i will follow you around like a puppy dog" vibe.

Men will come crawling. And want to reward you for your great taste in needing them.
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Old 06-21-2012, 05:19 PM
 
936 posts, read 2,057,285 times
Reputation: 2253
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
well, for starters, I can't even get a date!!
Hence my suggestion to get set up with a FOAF purely for diagnostic purposes, not for an actual romantic relationship. Don't any of your friends have a brother or a friend that's willing to have a cup of coffee with you? I mean, COME ON, it's a cup of coffee, not a marriage proposal!
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Old 06-21-2012, 05:25 PM
 
936 posts, read 2,057,285 times
Reputation: 2253
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Trust me, all men LIKE the supermodel types. Most are simply too intimidated to approach them. They come up with amyriad of excuses like, she's too good for me, she must be taken, she wouldnt give me time of a day, i dont have enough money, im not tall enough. Ive known some extremely attractive girls, who were starred at alot but rarely approached.
Well, if we're going to talk in stereotypes here, men may like how supermodels look, but most don't care for how supermodels act--spoiled, arrogant, unappreciative and insecure.
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Old 06-21-2012, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Infernuan
1,364 posts, read 1,804,018 times
Reputation: 1447
I can relate to the OP... but as a man. I can't even get a woman to have lunch with me much less a relationship. And where I live has much to do with with it... a very ugly place when it comes to even attempting to have a relationship or even just date.
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Old 06-21-2012, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Leaving Montana for good...
227 posts, read 463,923 times
Reputation: 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
don't even get me started on wanting kids!!! maybe I need to move to your town! the men there want kids?? lol
CRAP loads of em. This town is a regular breeding facility from all walks of life, every spring there are tons of new moms ready to pop out along with the flowers, daddys in tow
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Old 06-21-2012, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,973 posts, read 7,680,366 times
Reputation: 1753
true, I don't stick around for the guys that are just casually hoping to hook up. I don't have time for that.
That's all the internet guys seem to be into. or, they lie in their profiles and have none of the same interests that they stated they had!! (which is why I would contact them in the first place!)



Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I don't think it's you. Some guys just don't want relationships. Period. If the hottest woman in the world approached them they'd treat her the same way. A lot of the dating pool on match are guys in their 30's. I dated two of them...neither of them had ever been married, lived with a woman, or even really been that serious. Red flag. Focus on guys who seem to want what you do and if you get the vibe they aren't going to stick around long term move on. I have wasted way too much time thinking a guy would change his mind or morph into what I wanted.
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