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Old 09-26-2007, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 21,141,653 times
Reputation: 5033

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I recently moved from New Jersey to Missouri. I live near the city but commute to a rural, country town to work at my new job.

The staff are mostly women, but there are a handful of men. I constantly catch the men staring at my chest area when we are talking. This NEVER happened in NJ. And I do not dress provocatively in any way. No cleavage, nothing tight. A couple of women in my office mentioned they experience it too, but to them it is not a big deal. It's "just how men are." Well, the men in NJ were sure not like that. They would have gotten fired and maybe sued for that sort of thing.

The icing on the cake was today, one of the maintenance guys came up to me and said, "Do you know about the meeting on Friday?" I said, "I'm not sure, what's it about?" and he said, "Well of course you don't, you're a woman and don't know anything!" and laughed to his friend (another male maintenance worker). He continued, "You should know I'm a real male chauvenist," to which I smiled and said, "You and I are going to have problems." He then told me about the meeting.

These are not young men. They are men who are in their 40s and 50s. Most of them are married. My new boss is one of these guys too. I caught him staring at my chest several times during my first interview. During the second interview, he behaved...because his boss was there and he knew to behave in front of HER.

I have never dealt with any such thing. Part of me finds it almost comical, like something out of a weird sitcom. Part of me says, just ignore it. The other part of me wants to mention something to the corporate office about it, but another part of me says, hello, if that's how they operate, then making a stink about it will surely get you fired. I really like the job. The people I work with are very nice and friendly. I'm thinking about pointing to my eyes every time I catch them staring at my chest.

Any thoughts?
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Looking over your shoulder
29,755 posts, read 26,793,917 times
Reputation: 79034
Exclamation keep records of the issue!

If your company has an HR department go tomorrow and provide information about the incident. Nip this in the bud and prevent it from getting or going any further. Make a diary of dates, times, comments ~ keep this for records later should you have the need for it. Allow upper management and HR to deal with the problem. Do not tell anyone that you are going to HR, just do it!
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Tejas
7,504 posts, read 15,976,592 times
Reputation: 5025
Quote:
"I'm not sure, what's it about?" and he said, "Well of course you don't, you're a woman and don't know anything!" and laughed to his friend (another male maintenance worker). He continued, "You should know I'm a real male chauvenist," to which I smiled and said, "You and I are going to have problems." He then told me about the meeting.
Sorry to laugh, but is this guy in 6th grade ? If not, has he ever graduated ? kick em in the nuts
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:16 PM
 
Location: The 12th State
22,974 posts, read 57,254,850 times
Reputation: 14869
When around them start staring at their crotch and bust out laughing
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Old 09-26-2007, 10:22 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 16,811,250 times
Reputation: 12316
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyKayak View Post
When around them start staring at their crotch and bust out laughing
Really!! What kind of moron is this. What's his name?? Let's say it's Steve, next time you walk by him hold your thumb and index finger together as if your saying "a little bit" and say - Oh Hi "little" Steve and then giggle and walk away.
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Old 09-26-2007, 11:18 PM
 
Location: west coast
1,252 posts, read 2,317,466 times
Reputation: 3625
Offhand, it sounds like they are intimidated by you and by women in general. They're trying to get you to overreact to their comments. Don't stoop to their level of disrespect.
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Old 09-26-2007, 11:21 PM
 
Location: Fairbanks Alaska
1,677 posts, read 5,755,734 times
Reputation: 667
Read up on the sexual harrasment laws in your state. Most require you to tell the person your offended before it is considered harrasment. I think if you tell your supervisor or Hr / compliance officer you don't have to tell the person directly.
Don't do anything that would be construed as harrassment. Destroys your position.
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Old 09-27-2007, 03:30 AM
 
Location: beautiful North Carolina
7,574 posts, read 9,559,073 times
Reputation: 5505
Before I reply to this, are you married or do you have a boyfriend? Jeannie
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Old 09-27-2007, 05:21 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,541,856 times
Reputation: 19578
Sounds like the AREA in which you live is used to this behavior and thinks it is ok. I agree with AKsarben.

If other women are used to it, and it happens all the time, why have they not said anything? Are they in fear of losing their job? You said your boss is one of these people?

Jerks.
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Old 09-27-2007, 06:16 AM
 
25,573 posts, read 23,778,223 times
Reputation: 44094
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunnyKayak View Post
When around them start staring at their crotch and bust out laughing





LOL!!!! Boy, if that doesnt lower a guys self esteem instantly, I dont know what will!! You deserve points.
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