Is she testing me or just messing with me? Really confused. (dating, girlfriend)

[stevelloyd519]

My girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me 3 weeks ago, this is our second breakup. The first week after our breakup i made the mistake of trying to patch things up and make them work but there was no resolution. The second i went NC and did not talk to her at all and had planned on going a few weeks without talking to her. At the end of the second week she called me (she intiated the first contact after our first breakup as well) really mad asking me why im not fighting for our relationship and why she is the one reaching out to me. I had every intention of trying to make this relationship work, just not so soon. A few days later i emailed her because she lost her phone, asking her if we could meet up and talk. She said she felt like there was nothing to gain from us talking. I went to her house a few days later and we ended up talking. We agreed to stop the fighting and cut the bs. I told her that i am going to fight for our relationship and she told me not to waste my time. She said that in a very nonchalant way and didnt even look at me when she said it. A few days later i called her and she didnt answer but she did call me back the same day. The conversation was about 10 minutes, just asking each other how we were doing etc. I could tell she was feeling down by the tone of her voice. A few days later i wrote a handwritten note and left it on her car, i had done that every so often when we were dating, she loved when i did it. That could of been a mistake on my part i dont know, i was just trying to bring her back to how things used to be. Its been a few days and i havent heard from her and i havent called her. Im not going to keep calling her or contacting her because its just going to push her away.

She broke up with me both times because of a few bad times i drank way too much and got out of control. Said some things i shouldnt of said and didnt mean. Took some things out on here that i shouldnt of, stupid drunken mistakes. I've made the decision for myself to stop drinking because theres been many times in the past where i have lost control and have done stupid things like i did to her. I dont know if it makes a difference or not but she told me and one of her best friends she didnt want to end it but at the time she felt like it was the best thing to do. She feels that i wont change, which i can understand. Obviously i have to take the steps to make myself a better person most importantly.

In my mind it looks like she still cares, otherwise she wouldnt of contacted me first and going off on me and asking why im not fighting for our relationship.

My question is does it seem like she wants to see how i react to what she said and to see if our relationship does mean something to me? Does she want me to keep fighting for it? Or is she just trying to mess with me?

I dont expect her to act immediately and instantly take me back, i know it takes time. I'm just confused and dont know if im reading the situation correctly. I just want to get some other people view points on this situation. I would appreciate any advice and thanks in advance for any comments.

[JrzDefector]

You both sound like complete messes. Stop dating. Then stop drinking, because apparently it turns you into a d-bag. One incident you let slide, but multiple incidents where you became nasty after getting drunk? Unacceptable. Of course, she also sounds like a manipulative wretch, so she's not much better. Unless you want to perpetuate a train wreck, walk away and do some soul-searching.

[Ruth4Truth]

There's nothing left to add. Jrz covered it.