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Westerner, I've found your analysis to be the most level headed explanation of this trend.
But before I give you too much praise, I will say that you should be careful about dismissing claims of heightened racism amongst gay men, especially if you are part if the dominant, unaffected group. Because you really will never experience what it's like to be gay and black and the challenges that entails in a city like Austin.
Yeah, you'll get old and face discrimination, but that really isn't the same. Dont be so quick to write off racism; especially when you're not in a position to know what it really is.
Westerner, I've found your analysis to be the most level headed explanation of this trend.
But before I give you too much praise, I will say that you should be careful about dismissing claims of heightened racism amongst gay men, especially if you are part if the dominant, unaffected group. Because you really will never experience what it's like to be gay and black and the challenges that entails in a city like Austin.
Yeah, you'll get old and face discrimination, but that really isn't the same. Dont be so quick to write off racism; especially when you're not in a position to know what it really is.
Fair enough. I wouldn't say I'm part of the group being accused of racism necessarily since I don't participate in what might be considered the gay "community," but it could be argued that I'm just as close, or maybe even closer, to the situation at hand than you since I have direct (although brief) experience.
Just as you say to be careful to dismiss claims of racism, the same carefulness should be applied to making claims of racism, since I highly doubt you're part of the group being accused, no? Sorry, but I find generalizing a group that's already highly discriminated against of being discriminatory, then telling them to be careful when attempting to refute such a generalization to be just a little ironic.
I've had a lot of gay black men tell me about overt racism in the gay community, almost like gay men feel they have carte blanche to voice sentiments about black men that others never would because they are gay. And frankly I've seen it among my non-black gay male friends, so I don't doubt them.
And note, I'm not trying to suggest that gay men are more racist than straight people...only that (and I base this statement off the many non-black gay men I know, white, Asian, Hispanic, etc.) I feel that many almost feel comfortable espousing sentiments that would strike many as overtly racist, and act like being a part of a discriminated group almost gives them license in this regard. Same with the fact that many have progressive views, so they feel that this gives them a "shield" of sorts.
Like I've had a discussion with some of my gay male friends about black men and interracial dating, and two of them literally said "ew" and "yuck" with reference to black men. Now I know plenty of straight women who are not terribly interested in black men (I would assume from either never having dated them or them stating an overt preference for a certain ethnicity), but I've never once heard anything like that leave the lips of a straight woman in reference to colored men.
To be totally blunt, I don't think anyone who is HIV positive should even be in a sexual relationship. Even if they take measures of 'prevention' which aren't 100.0% effective all of the time.
Nice try, but SO many HIV transmissions these days occur from people who don't even know they have it.
FYI- I'll take having protected sex with a poz guy who's on medication to lower his viral load than risky sex with a perceived 'neg' guy who probably hooks up with random dudes on Grindr every night.
And note, I'm not trying to suggest that gay men are more racist than straight people...only that (and I base this statement off the many non-black gay men I know, white, Asian, Hispanic, etc.) I feel that many almost feel comfortable espousing sentiments that would strike many as overtly racist, and act like being a part of a discriminated group almost gives them license in this regard. Same with the fact that many have progressive views, so they feel that this gives them a "shield" of sorts.
Like I've had a discussion with some of my gay male friends about black men and interracial dating, and two of them literally said "ew" and "yuck" with reference to black men. Now I know plenty of straight women who are not terribly interested in black men (I would assume from either never having dated them or them stating an overt preference for a certain ethnicity), but I've never once heard anything like that leave the lips of a straight woman in reference to colored men.
Why do you personally know so many racist individuals?
Well I'm not a gay man of color, but at my last place of employment, my assistant was. And although we worked together for about 2 months, he would complain on a daily basis on how he hadn't been in a relationship for over 2 years and how he wanted love.
Like you stated, most of the men he dated were of a different ethnic background. He also was HIV+, so that could have been another reason why he was having difficulty dating.
I just spoke with my friend (whom this post was about) and found out he got engaged! Good for him. There IS someone for everyone out there.
I am not denying that gay men of color may face difficulties that their white brethren may not face. But it is very subjective.
Sexual preferences know no color or creed. I have many gay black friends (as well as Asians and Latinos) that only want to date white guys. They refuse to date anyone of their own race. I fail to see how minorities only wanting to date whites is different than whites only wanting to date their own race. And why whites usually are singled out in the gay community for racism when it is often simply sexual preference and not blatant discrimination.
Also, if you are truly comfortable in yourself and who you are, you will be open to dating anybody and NOT complain of discrimination when it comes to dating (unless it is obliterate racism that doesn't have to do with sex). Complaining is SUCH a turn off, don't you think? Snap out of it!
If you truly feel that all races are equal and deserve equal affection.... why should it matter if a white guy denies you? What makes dating a white guy so special and worth crying about?
One of my friends refused to date other black men, and now he's with the love of his life who's also black and they are beautiful together.
I am not denying that gay men of color may face difficulties that their white brethren may not face. But it is very subjective.
Sexual preferences know no color or creed. I have many gay black friends (as well as Asians and Latinos) that only want to date white guys. They refuse to date anyone of their own race. I fail to see how minorities only wanting to date whites is different than whites only wanting to date their own race.
Also, if you are truly comfortable in yourself and who you are, you will be open to dating anybody and NOT complain of discrimination when it comes to dating (unless it is obliterate racism).
If you truly feel that all races are equal and deserve equal affection.... why should it matter if a white guy denies you? What makes dating a white guy so special?
Please think about this before you respond.
That's pretty said and most definitely a form of self-hatred.
Why do you personally know so many racist individuals?
Because I know so many individuals, period.
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