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So you think I should wait rather than go for broke?
Its a dog eat dog world out there man, I'm not afraid of burning a few bridges that weren't held up that strongly to begin with to get what I want. As far as his respect? Sure, what I'm considering is against the "bro code" but what is the respect of a creep who would cheat on his girlfriend worth anyway?
As far as her respect? Wouldn't it be more plausible to think that she would appreciate me saving her from a cheater who'll likely cheat on her to?
Answers:
It's not waiting v going for broke. Get to know her in a normal way. Don't put pressure on yourself or her. She's one girl out of many. No need to put all of your emotional eggs in one basket.
Whether he's a creep or not is irrelevant. She's not your sister or close friend.
And no, she wouldn't appreciate it. You have white knight syndrome:
Seriously, be a man, talk to her, ask her to lunch for some one-on-one time. Don't bring up anyone else, especially the other guy who's got a GF. If she brings him up, be honest and tell her, but force that part of the conversation because that could go sour in a hurry.
If you get her to go to lunch just keep it light, maybe talk about work a little, but keep eye contact and keep the conversation going. Best thing you can probably do.
ehhhh.... now that the adrenaline isn't pupming so hard, it does all seem a bit juvenile doesn't? Still though, it hurts she may not be interested in me over some other cheater. Guess there are just some things we have to learn to accept, this may be one of them. Like others have said, she's only been there five days, so I'll just wait and see what happens.
Cheater huh? All because he's being friendly and chatty with her.
Why don't you be the one guy who DOESN'T try to get into her pants? At least at first. Get to know her; she may be a b***h. Or she may not care if he has a girlfriend (they are out there). Or she may not want to hook up with anyone where she works. If you can, get to know her without hitting on her. See if there is anything worth getting this worked up over.
^^^This.
I feel for this girl, at a brand new job for just a week, doesn't know anyone, has to get familiar with a new job, expectations, rules, regulations, all the stress that starting in a new workplace entails. So to add more stress to her, she's being swarmed like flies to honey?
Be the guy that has some respect for her, because her primary function in being at your place of work is...wait for it...work! She's a stranger in a new environment, and if I were her, I'd want to run screaming for the door if I felt like a bunch of guys, who I don't even yet know, are angling for something personal from me in a professional environment.
In my opinion, talking down your competition shows her that you are insecure in your own ability. There is really nothing to gain from it. Instead, do the opposite if you two end up on the subject of the other dude, or bhetter yet, dont mention it at all. PLay your own game, chief and let the chips fall where they may.
Cheater huh? All because he's being friendly and chatty with her.
Interesting conclusion you've come to
It isn't just my conclusion, he told me yesterday he had a girlfriend when I asked if he was going to crawl all over her like the other guys are, and today he told me he was going to try and "hook-up" with her. Pretty black and white.
I think there has been a misconception. I wasn't going to write all that stuff about the other guys in a note and hand it to her and quietly walk away like some 3rd grader, I was going to tell her that and hand the paper with my number on it to her.
That makes no difference anyway, because I'm not going to do any of it. I started the thread right after I got home from work, so all this was pretty much "in the heat of the moment"..... After a couple hours of reflection and your advice, I decided the whole thing would be kind of childish to do. I'll just keep being me, which I am told, is a pretty awesome person to be around. Thats just what I hear though. Of course it would depend on who you ask. haha. If that isn't good enough to get the girl then nothing ever will be.
I think I just needed some random people to talk this out with. Thanks City-Dataians, for being good folks to vent to.
Why not just ask the guy how his girlfriend is when he's talking to her so she'll get the hint and just get to know her better.
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