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It hadn't occurred to me that perhaps men who have an aversion and fear of gay men might be shocked out of their skull to find out that gay men have friends who are not gay men. Maybe they think that gay men only have gay men as friends? Maybe some might, but we're all human beings and can be friends on the basis of lots of factors. For ex., I had a gay friend 20 years ago whom I bonded with because we were both from the same country of origin, funny guy, made me laugh when things were tough, good and kind-hearted, and we shared a love of independent films. What more could one want in a friend?
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Originally Posted by _redbird_
I agree. Some women just don't have a problem with gay men. They don't feel threatened.
I think many thread titles are worded in ways that foster false notions. I don't know of any woman who is DRAWN to gay men. Yeah, right. Like a moth is drawn to light at night? If the topic is for women who are DRAWN to them, let one of those women post an answer.
As far as simple friendships go, I think many women simply do not harbor negative emotions towards gay men. I think some straight men feel uncomfortable (add repulsed, religious, and a whole slew of other reasons for aversion to gay men) with the whole notion of homosexuality and some men are so full of hate, ignorance and fear that they cannot use common sense to see that there are good, bad, and evil amongst all people regardless of race, sexual orientation, or SEC.
As for women hearing disrespectful remarks from gay men towards women, there is such a thing as personality disorders. You will find them in all sets of sexual orientations. Some people are hateful, catty, and simply unhappy deep inside and it comes out in various ways. If a person is making disrespectful remarks about women, it is THAT person and not a symptom of all men, gay or straight. How many women like to put men down in a joking way?
I don't have any gay friends who make asinie remarks about women because I don't hang out with people like that. I also don't hang out with twinks who can be catty beyond all reason.
Here is $0.01. Not all gays are swishy, effeminate, or stereotypes that you think make SF so worthy of your disgust. Many men in small town, rural, middle america are married to women, sit in church, work on cars, and live in all parts of USA. My god, you have more bi and gay men in small towns than you can shake a stick at. And most got married due to societal peer pressure. You DO know that?
It is kinda cool to have a male friend that isn't even remotely thinking of sex. Takes the edge off if what you want is a true friendship only, and no sexual involvement.
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Originally Posted by MaggieZ
I have always had gay friends and always felt they were easy to talk to and they're no danger as far as trying to get into your pants so you feel safe telling them things that could otherwise be taken as a come on...
It hadn't occurred to me that perhaps men who have an aversion and fear of gay men might be shocked out of their skull to find out that gay men have friends who are not gay men. Maybe they think that gay men only have gay men as friends? Maybe some might, but we're all human beings and can be friends on the basis of lots of factors. For ex., I had a gay friend 20 years ago whom I bonded with because we were both from the same country of origin, funny guy, made me laugh when things were tough, good and kind-hearted, and we shared a love of independent films. What more could one want in a friend?
Back to the OP. If "OUR" women have nothing in common with ya, what makes you think the men will/would? *Word*
Pardon? I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say.
If you are gay around here, who's your friends? Other gays obviously. I could write all night about the "one" who came out and no longer goes to family get togethers. His/her parents don't talk about it. So and so just doesn't come or show themselves anymore. A LEO who thought it was a good idea to propostion his partner while taking a leak on duty in a remote woods. He's no longer a Cop and lost everything he had. Oh, it's VERY real indeed!
There's no doubt that there's still discrimination against gays. You know it, I know it, we all know it. So when there's discrimination, people tend to protect themselves by leaning towards those also undergoing discrimination. Still, those people who don't discriminate will befriend anyone, and people are people after all. I'm fluent in my native language, Spanish, and I'm sure there are people out there that hate me for that. I don't have them as friends. So what? I have plenty of friends, people who don't discriminate against me for my native language.
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Originally Posted by SameOne
If you are gay around here, who's your friends? Other gays obviously. I could write all night about the "one" who came out and no longer goes to family get togethers. His/her parents don't talk about it. So and so just doesn't come or show themselves anymore. A LEO who thought it was a good idea to propostion his partner while taking a leak on duty in a remote woods. He's no longer a Cop and lost everything he had. Oh, it's VERY real indeed!
Oleg, women who have gay friends have a character flaw? I don't think so...I for one, know many women who are happily married and have gay friends and straight friends. And sometimes you meet someone and become friends only to find out later they are gay or lesbian, it's not like you go out and search for a gay friend...I don't agree with you that gay men are not real men...why should they have to have kids and be a father and husband? Total BS...Just like anyone who's served in the militaryand fought in some war is probably more manly too or some guy who beats his wife and kids is manly?
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