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Are you being obtuse on purpose? What exactly about this thread seems to have offended you so much? No one is insulting gay men or even more feminine guys, especially not me. Everyone else seems to understand what I mean when I say the first thought that popped into my head when I met this guy was "Is he gay" because of his mannerisms, the way he talked, and the general way he moved. It isn't something I can explain, but it's something I'm sure everyone has encountered. Does it mean he's gay? Nope. He may be as hetero as they come...I don't know. That's why I posted the question - for discussion.
I noticed Info Guy has been very defensive in this thread. IG, have people called you effeminate or do you fear you might be gay? There is nothing to worry about, just try to accept yourself and others will too.
I noticed Info Guy has been very defensive in this thread. IG, have people called you effeminate or do you fear you might be gay? There is nothing to worry about, just try to accept yourself and others will too.
I don't have to have a super manly man, but feminine guys are definitely not a turn on for me.
I actually had a similar situation trying to figure out if someone was gay or straight--I've been hanging out with a guy, and I'm not really attracted to him at all but he is friendly enough. I assumed he was gay the first time I met him (based on some stereotypes, but also some things he said), but he texts/calls me all the time and wants to hang out ALL the time. I'm not sure if he just trusts me and wants to be good friends or if he really is straight and actually interested.
A little overwhelming... anyways, I hope he's just overly friendly because I'm not attracted to him at all. It's hard to be attracted to someone who I thought was gay at first.
Well, thanks to everyone who knew what I meant! I love a guy who is a gentleman and I'm not boxed into stereotypes when it comes to gender roles, but my very first impression of this man was to ask myself if he could be gay. Maybe he's not, but I can't date someone with that in the back of my mind. I politely told him that he's a great guy, but I didn't think things were going to work out. He was fairly gracious about it. He wanted to know why...I just said it doesn't really matter why.
Threads like these make me wonder which of my own mannerisms are 'effeminate'.
For instance:
-Buying nice clothes
-Singing Carpenters songs while playing the guitar
-Using exfoliant wash in the morning
-Reading books...
I mean I do watch sports and drink beer, but is some woman going to reject me because I do the above? This is how it is for guys. You're always thinking "What is she going to reject me on?"
Oh well. To the fellas who are 'effeminate' I say screw it. The key is to go through numbers and not care about a woman enough until you actually get her.
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