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I was with him 1 yr then on and off for 2. The last breakup did not go well. He is with someone I suspect he may have cheated on me with now. His mom wants to see me & i told her that probably would be fine. However I am starting to think its probably better if I dont. What should I say to her and do you guys think I should even see her in the first place? Thank you
Im thinking of saying , "turns out its not going to work this weekend/ week after all. Sorry , take care , hope you have a good trip , though" (she doesnt live in my city , just visiting.)
If you felt you had developed a bond with the mom, yes. If her request is out of the blue or uncharacteristic, she may be planning to say something you'll find unpleasant, like your ex is getting married, expecting a baby, or is dating trash. Or as a friend's ex's mom did to her: blame her for all of her partner's unhappiness and anxiety over the past several years.
I wouldn't, were it me. There are some family members of exes that were just wonderful people, but I think if I met with them it would probably be some kind of ticket to assure the ex somehow trying to come back into my life somehow or another, and that, I do not want.
I have actually done it in the past, and it is what happened, and bam! A sucky year of my life come and gone, lol.
Personally, I believe in cutting ties with my exes' close friends and family members. And that goes double for those with which I had a "bad breakup". I just don't think I could shake the awkwardness of it all as time progressed.
I adore my one ex's stepfather. If he wanted to grab drinks when he was in town, I'd totally be fine with it. We have about 10 years of book discussions to catch up on.
However, if you didn't have a close relationship with the mother, what's the reason for the visit? If this makes you uncomfortable, you CAN back out. What do you WANT? What are you comfortable with? It's really odd that she wants to visit with you if you weren't close with each other. Figure out what your boundaries are and what you want. Then go from there. It doesn't matter what SHE wants and it doesn't matter what the other people on this board think is "normal." What is RIGHT for you?
If you were close prior to the break up, yes, if not, prolly she is just being nosey.
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