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Old 06-30-2012, 09:48 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,693 posts, read 15,670,187 times
Reputation: 11862
Default The upside to male chauvinism

This idea that a man should always pay for a date, open the door, pull out the chair for a lady, carry her bags even when thewhen she can manage perfectly fine are, in my opinion, no less chauvinistic than the idea women should remain in the kitchen or that they can't discuss serious things. It also implies they are helpless and need males to take care of them. Yet many women accept this or call it chivalry while not accepting the other side of the coin. I respect old school feminists who are consistent instead of those so called independent women I keep hearing about on CD, who demand a rich husband to slobbers over her but really treats her like arm candy. Would you agree the above is nothing more than the more palatable side to chauvinism, when in a dating context all part of the process of buffering her up to have your way with her?
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:55 PM
 
Location: State of Relaxation
28,656 posts, read 14,369,203 times
Reputation: 19504
We already had a thread on this, started by the famous onihC, if I recall correctly.

I open a door for anyone who looks like they need help, male or female. If someone, including a stranger, opens a door for me, I always thank them, but I don't expect it. It's about being thoughtful of others. If I'm sitting on a bus, and an elderly person gets on, a pregnant woman, or anyone who looks like they really need a break, I'll offer my seat.

Here's one you didn't think of. What about the custom whereby the guy does all the ordering at the dinner table? The woman isn't supposed to interact with the waiter, the guy conveys whatever wishes or questions the lady may have. I HATE that! Chatting with the waiter, asking about the fare on the menu, etc. is one of the great pleasures of eating at restaurants. I don't like to be denied that pleasure. I'm glad some guys are flexible enough to allow me to have a good time, rather than requiring me to just sit passively while he has all the fun. That's one custom that needs to be retired.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:03 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 4,248,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
We already had a thread on this, started by the famous onihC, if I recall correctly.

I open a door for anyone who looks like they need help, male or female. If someone, including a stranger, opens a door for me, I always thank them, but I don't expect it. It's about being thoughtful of others. If I'm sitting on a bus, and an elderly person gets on, a pregnant woman, or anyone who looks like they really need a break, I'll offer my seat.

Here's one you didn't think of. What about the custom whereby the guy does all the ordering at the dinner table? The woman isn't supposed to interact with the waiter, the guy conveys whatever wishes or questions the lady may have. I HATE that! Chatting with the waiter, asking about the fare on the menu, etc. is one of the great pleasures of eating at restaurants. I don't like to be denied that pleasure. I'm glad some guys are flexible enough to allow me to have a good time, rather than requiring me to just sit passively while he has all the fun. That's one custom that needs to be retired.

you're right he made this same kind of thread already and if I recall there's a guy in that thread who was bragging about 'just letting a department store door slam shut in the woman's face. He thought he was teaching her a 'lesson' about expecting a man to hold the door open. Ridiculous. These male spend more time playing these stupid, petty, games then they do working on how they treat women overall and that's half their problem.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:04 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,693 posts, read 15,670,187 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
We already had a thread on this, started by the famous onihC, if I recall correctly.

I open a door for anyone who looks like they need help, male or female. If someone, including a stranger, opens a door for me, I always thank them, but I don't expect it. It's about being thoughtful of others. If I'm sitting on a bus, and an elderly person gets on, a pregnant woman, or anyone who looks like they really need a break, I'll offer my seat.

Here's one you didn't think of. What about the custom whereby the guy does all the ordering at the dinner table? The woman isn't supposed to interact with the waiter, the guy conveys whatever wishes or questions the lady may have. I HATE that! Chatting with the waiter, asking about the fare on the menu, etc. is one of the great pleasures of eating at restaurants. I don't like to be denied that pleasure. I'm glad some guys are flexible enough to allow me to have a good time, rather than requiring me to just sit passively while he has all the fun. That's one custom that needs to be retired.
Might be a generational thing, but yes that would be annouing. Same with the man always driving, and stuff like that. Similarly if I ever to marry I would have a problem with my wife keeping her maiden name.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:07 PM
 
Location: USA
1,335 posts, read 870,953 times
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Must be the weather...I've never seen so much complaining and bitterness as in the last few days. I'm beginning to wonder if any of you males here even like women.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:22 PM
 
Location: State of Relaxation
28,656 posts, read 14,369,203 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red On The Noodle View Post
Must be the weather...I've never seen so much complaining and bitterness as in the last few days. I'm beginning to wonder if any of you males here even like women.
The ones with the angry posts don't. I also suspect that the ones that think it's all about "hotness" don't like women either. They don't want to deal with women as people, only as plastic sex-toy dolls.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,152,858 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
This idea that a man should always pay for a date, open the door, pull out the chair for a lady, carry her bags even when thewhen she can manage perfectly fine are, in my opinion, no less chauvinistic than the idea women should remain in the kitchen or that they can't discuss serious things. It also implies they are helpless and need males to take care of them. Yet many women accept this or call it chivalry while not accepting the other side of the coin. I respect old school feminists who are consistent instead of those so called independent women I keep hearing about on CD, who demand a rich husband to slobbers over her but really treats her like arm candy. Would you agree the above is nothing more than the more palatable side to chauvinism, when in a dating context all part of the process of buffering her up to have your way with her?


I'm just going to say that while some of that stands among those with mere good manners and I LIKE doing the majority of those things...

I've not seen it anywhere in the chauvinism manual that men have to pay for dates. I've encountered a few women who absolutely expected it BUT they turned out to be bad news overall, regardless. The rest... I think women are USUALLY fairly considerate with regard to money, and if they actually LIKE you, then they've proved pretty darned equitable in my experience.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:59 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,290 posts, read 4,440,327 times
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Traditional manners are the issue . . . a rude man who would walk ahead of a woman, open a door and let it slam in her face - just for equality's sake, is an ill-mannered, selfish jerk (with issues).
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Old 06-30-2012, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
14,243 posts, read 11,116,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Traditional manners are the issue . . . a rude man who would walk ahead of a woman, open a door and let it slam in her face - just for equality's sake, is an ill-mannered, selfish jerk (with issues).

Agreed, and a woman who gets mad at a guy for holding the door is a psycho feminist.

Luckily, most of these people only exist on forums and represent less than .001% of the American population.


Most women like to be treated with respect, so I don't agree with the OP.. because it represents such a small population of the people. If it was worded differently and addressed it as the small percentage of *******s and nutcases that exist, it'd be a little better.
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Old 06-30-2012, 11:29 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,693 posts, read 15,670,187 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Traditional manners are the issue . . . a rude man who would walk ahead of a woman, open a door and let it slam in her face - just for equality's sake, is an ill-mannered, selfish jerk (with issues).
No it isn't acceptable of course, most women wouldn't do something like that to a man either.
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