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Old 07-10-2012, 12:36 AM
 
442 posts, read 614,134 times
Reputation: 430

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Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
They do identify their high status careers when they write cliched where are all the good men internet articles. Education is low on my priority list. I like intelligence, but I prefer conversational intelligence. All I need is a Bachelors from her, not the alphabet soup of overpriced degrees.
I haven't seen any of the articles you speak of. I get that it makes you more secure when a woman doesn't surpass a certain level of education.

There are plenty of guys out there who are perfectly secure though with women who might have the alphabet soup as you call it behind their name.
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:26 AM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,131,277 times
Reputation: 4840
Quote:
Originally Posted by summers73 View Post
What about quality guys who are not aggressive but rather more introverted? You've heard of the personality types, correct? You are describing people who are Exxx types, not Ixxx types. What about the INFP, INJPs of the world? The bolded part shows a hint of bias on your end. Either you are an overconfident American man or a bitter American woman.

In a central European country where I grew up, there is a statistically significant number of native women selecting to be with other women as opposed to men. They make many of our worst American guys look like dream dates. I attribute this to the low quality of men in this country. They are often alcoholic, fat, poor providers, emotionally/physically abusive and even more boorish than some of the worst American men. I've seen this as an opportunity to improve the quality of life for the woman as well as the choice of the American male. The only losers to this are the American woman and the European male. Maybe they can be joined?
I'm an INFP and my ex was INFJ, and I can't understand why you'd lump these types with the kind of men who basically have to buy women from other countries. I've known many INxx types in general. Of all the ones I've known (and I've known a disproportionate amount because like attracts like), I can't think of one who would think a mail-order bride (or groom, for that matter) is desirable. The INFx types in particular tend to be sensitive & somewhat romantic at core, but also not necessarily looking for traditional roles. INFx men in particular strike me as some of the most open to a more "modern" style relationship. There are more INFx women than men also, so I can't see why it would be hard for those males to seek a similar personality who will be able to empathize with them.

Your basic premise that American women are undesirable to American men is simply not supported to begin with. You make this statement as if it is true, but there's no proof that it is. Neither is the idea that American women are somehow less attractive than American men, as if American men aren't also affected by the negative aspects of American culture. However, even though you do make negative comments about BOTH American men & women (even if more so about women), you also note that there are exceptions. If there are American men who are exceptions & who dislike American culture, then there are American women who are that way as well. These exceptions are certainly able to find each other, and the likelihood that their interests, lifestyles, goals, etc, will overlap is high, IMO.

I think the real issue here is too high expectations in relation to the effort put forward. The American man may be able to get someone foreign who is younger & better looking than him because she is willing to overlook his age/appearance/dull personality in order to get that visa (once she has it though....). Whereas a local woman of the same caliber has no motivation to go for him. He doesn't want to date in his own league basically, nor is he willing to improve himself to attract better quality women. Basically, these are guys who are only focused on what they get out of a relationship, and that's why it always sounds like they're picking out a sweater in a catalog, as cpg aptly puts it. It's very impersonal, and frankly, selfish, because they don't seem to think about what they have to offer & why it falls short for appealing, local women who don't need green cards. If they were to delve even a little bit into what those foreign women want, then they'd quickly see they are being used a free ride. Funny how it doesn't bother them so long as the woman is young, pretty, and rather lacking in her own opinions (or appearing that way prior to marriage). This would bother many men, probably most, which is why this sort of thing is not extremely common.

My personal anecdotal observations of the foreign, mail order bride thing (and no, I don't have many references, because again, it doesn't seem that common) is that unfailingly, one or more of the following occurs:
- Once the young woman gets her green card (or whatever), she leaves the man, gets a job, & finds herself a young, good-looking boyfriend.
- She eagerly adopts the very same American lifestyle, culture, attitudes, etc, that the American man supposedly scorns in American women (why else was she so eager to move to the US?).
- She becomes noticeably & increasingly less docile & domestic than she appeared to be prior to the relationship (wow - she has a brain of her own!!! ).
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:32 AM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,131,277 times
Reputation: 4840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
I completely agree with you, you saved me alot of typing. It doesnt even matter what you pick in your answer, becasue any culture will be superior to what we have in the US in that aspect. Too many greedy and selfish people, trying to fulfill their needs and treat dating like its a business proposition. What can I get out of this relationship, need to ask XYZ within the first two dates, can he do this, can she do that. Its all self serving ugly gibberish. Not to mention, seeing matters of heart in terms of black and white, and applying a list of moronic rules to dating. yuck! No wonder there are so many lonely and unhappy people living here.
This is precisely what the mail order bride thing (excuse me, "offshore marriages") sounds like: a business arrangement where each is primarily concerned with what they get out it, not about making a real connection with another human being.
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Old 07-10-2012, 05:59 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,869,940 times
Reputation: 16642
If you guys really believe everything you're saying about people in the United States.. your lives must really suck and I feel bad for you.
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Old 07-10-2012, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,216,996 times
Reputation: 73924
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
Type A women tend to be attracted to careers like Lawyers or other careerist positions. Type A men and women tend to be more aggressive and abrasive people. Not exactly conducive to healthy relationships.
Translation: You are intimidated and quaking in your booties.

I would NEVER date anything but a type A woman and I find them sexy and they don't intimidate me one bit.
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Old 07-10-2012, 07:36 AM
 
5,347 posts, read 7,184,843 times
Reputation: 7158
I wouldn't do this, but this is a classic case of just because YOU wouldn't do something doesn't mean you should put down someone else for doing it. I see a lot of that against men in this thread
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Old 07-10-2012, 08:14 AM
 
442 posts, read 614,134 times
Reputation: 430
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
I wouldn't do this, but this is a classic case of just because YOU wouldn't do something doesn't mean you should put down someone else for doing it. I see a lot of that against men in this thread
Why shouldn't their motivations be questioned?
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Old 07-10-2012, 08:18 AM
 
458 posts, read 614,860 times
Reputation: 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
That's great and all, but men want a wife, not a coworker... Why would a high value man want some ball busting lawyer ***** when he can choose a woman who is an elementary school teacher that is sweet and nurturing?
I don't know, why would a high value man want some jaded, ball busting elementary teacher b*tch when he can choose a woman who is a successful, gorgeous, whip-smart lawyer?

Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
I'll say it again: Men aren't looking for a coworker, they are looking for a wife.
Nope, we're looking for someone to love and spend our lives with. Not a slave who mindlessly cooks for us and has sex with us, as you want. Live in the real world for about five minutes and you'll see.

Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
How come you don't see women in lower tier positions like teachers always starting threads, and posting internet articles about where all the good men went?
We do see exactly that.

To be honest, you sound like you're terrified, pi**sing in your pants scared of actual, valuable women. That's fine with me - more of them for the taking!
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Old 07-10-2012, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,869,940 times
Reputation: 16642
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jester2138 View Post
I don't know, why would a high value man want some jaded, ball busting elementary teacher b*tch when he can choose a woman who is a successful, gorgeous, whip-smart lawyer?



Nope, we're looking for someone to love and spend our lives with. That's no different from what women want.



We do see exactly that?

Question before I waste any more time on this thread: How old are you and have you ever met a member of the female side of our species? I knew a lot of guys who talked like you before they grew up and realized how immature and pathetic they sounded.

lol, you're both making ridiculously stupid generalizations on polar opposites.

Some female professionals would be great people and others would be horrible. Some stay at home "traditional moms" stay at home and have different guys over while the husband is working.

You're going to see good and bad of both... so stop making stupid generalizations ... good lord. I swear this forum is home to some of the most narrow minded thinkers in the world.
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Old 07-10-2012, 08:27 AM
 
458 posts, read 614,860 times
Reputation: 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
lol, you're both making ridiculously stupid generalizations on polar opposites.

Some female professionals would be great people and others would be horrible. Some stay at home "traditional moms" stay at home and have different guys over while the husband is working.
Why do you guys keep using qualifiers like "would" and "probably" and so on? It's almost like you don't have any personal experience with this subject - not a surprise.

Also, I continued editing my post after it was up so you're quote doesn't reflect what I actually said here.
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