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Old 07-09-2012, 06:33 AM
 
161 posts, read 344,408 times
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Ever had a situation where you made a bad impression on a date, and how did you rebound from that? Was the person you were with judgmental or open-minded about talking some more? On the flip side, did you ever get a negative impression of someone - what made you write them off completely versus not taking it too seriously?

The extremity of the bad impression can vary, so I think being late versus saying something racist are on two different levels. I've had situations where I probably gave off a negative impression (and I liked the people - so it wasn't intentional!) but didn't realize it until after the fact (no, I didn't say anything politically charged.... there was one situation where I got a bit negative because I've just had a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now-and my date knew that).

In those cases, especially when it's a first date, I really wish people didn't judge so harshly. Nobody's perfect and in my opinion, people shouldn't be so quick to write off someone based on a 2 to 3 hour conversation (unless it's VERY clear that you both have very different value sets or something). But that definitely wasn't the case for me.

Any situations like this or thoughts on the matter?
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Old 07-09-2012, 06:43 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,467,767 times
Reputation: 2104
Many close friends of mine today said they thought poorly of me at first because they didn't get my sense of humor and took some things I said too seriously. Over time they got to know me and know that I was just kidding. It happens from time to time where acquaintances will out of the blue say "hey, I like you you're hilarious" when I've known them for months or even a year. I think I just get misunderstood early on at times.

I say just do your thing, whatever makes you happy, and good people will find you and appreciate you.
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Old 07-09-2012, 12:34 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,083 posts, read 8,378,583 times
Reputation: 11570
It's hard to shake a bad first impression. With online dating I'm not very likely to give someone another chance if they make a bad first impression because I can easily find someone else to meet. If I didn't have any other options I'd be more likely to go out with them again.
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Old 07-09-2012, 12:59 PM
 
5,385 posts, read 6,532,826 times
Reputation: 4551
Quote:
Originally Posted by reddoor54 View Post
Ever had a situation where you made a bad impression on a date, and how did you rebound from that? Was the person you were with judgmental or open-minded about talking some more? On the flip side, did you ever get a negative impression of someone - what made you write them off completely versus not taking it too seriously?

The extremity of the bad impression can vary, so I think being late versus saying something racist are on two different levels. I've had situations where I probably gave off a negative impression (and I liked the people - so it wasn't intentional!) but didn't realize it until after the fact (no, I didn't say anything politically charged.... there was one situation where I got a bit negative because I've just had a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now-and my date knew that).

In those cases, especially when it's a first date, I really wish people didn't judge so harshly. Nobody's perfect and in my opinion, people shouldn't be so quick to write off someone based on a 2 to 3 hour conversation (unless it's VERY clear that you both have very different value sets or something). But that definitely wasn't the case for me.

Any situations like this or thoughts on the matter?
^^
Bolded part above...I agree 100%! IMO, people should be just a lil more forgiving, gentle, and easy-going, on a first date...like OP said, don't be so quick to judge so harshly! Cut them a lil slack; the truth is that they may really like you a lot, but are just really nervous and/or shy, and thus might make an innocent or minor gaffe or accidentally mess up, just b/c they're (paradoxically) scared of making a bad impression

And yes, I really do believe in giving people "second chances" We're all human...no one is perfect; everyone has made mistakes before, and will again -- mistakes, even truly unintended ones, are pretty much inevitable. So why not be a lil more forgiving and compassionate, than critical?
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