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I agree with this too. Single mothers are regularly derided here.
regularly on here they say "online dating is for single mothers, overweight women, ugly women" etc. etc. as if those categories of women are 'useless.' sure single mothers have read that repeatedly here and it must feel great. So sorry, I don't feel the least bit of sympathy for this woman calling these men 'useless'. what's good for the goose is good for the gander. well there's no points in even saying it because just get slapped with 'bitter' and 'feminist' 'man hating' labels. so whatever.
I bring a lot to the table, but I'm under appreciated.
yeah you do bring a lot to the table....your child, that will lessen you dating options as many men are not willing to raise another man's children, just the way it is
lol!!! This has to be a joke! You sound ridiculous
You want to be a stay at home mom, yet dont want to cook and clean? So what do you bring to the table besides a child that's not his? rofl
You're just one bitter box of baggage
You totally misunderstood her post. She said she didn't want to cook and clean AND work full time. Please re-read the post.
That guy sounds like a real jerk. If he required her to keep her job and have kids, would he have been willing to take time off work to take kids to the dentist or doctor, or to music lessons or soccer practice? Would have have been willing to take turns staying home with them when they're sick? Doesn't sound like it. I wonder under which rock she found this guy.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-10-2012 at 02:55 PM..
Try not bringing a bitter attitude into new relationships. I also don't understand how you can just expect you to take care of your children and not work, while your bf/hubby brings in all the bank. He is essentially supporting you and your kids, while you take care of the kids you already had. A lot of guys have no problem working, cleaning, cooking, taking care of kids, and you shouldn't either. If you do, then you aren't going to find a guy like that.
This isn't what the OP said. She said that if she and her new SO were to have kids, she'd want to stay home with the kids. People are really pouring on the hostility, and reading things into the OP that aren't there. That says a lot more about the commentators than it does about the OP.
Everyone is derided here at some point. From the original posters words it appears the expectations are quite high on her side but she wants someone who has very low expectations of her.
I don't know about this. She was planning to be a SAHM. This is not a "low expectation" scenario. I'm a single and childless woman, and as I have posted previously in this thread, I would be happy to have a stay-at-home husband and no kids. Hear me out.
I remember when I was commuting from central Jersey to NYC, and coming home that first week thinking "Good lord, I need a wife."
And I watch the executives in my current company, all men in their 30s and 40s and they are all married with stay-at-home wives - they are free to focus entirely on their careers and on their leisure time when they're not working. I was working similar hours to them and wondering how they were able to hold it together so well when I was exhausted, and then I realized: They have wives who cook, maintain the house, run their errands, etc. My hours are better now, but I would value someone who took over the billpaying, the cooking, the cleaning, etc. immensely. Except for the cooking, I'm just not very good at the rest of it. When my one ex was working at a job with uneven hours and living with me, he was able to take care of more of the household responsibilities, and my life became considerably easier. I will never dis a stay-at-home spouse, because I believe they contribute real value to a home, whether there are kids or not. I could never, ever be one however. I'd literally put my own eyes out.
I don't know the intimate details of the OP's situation, but I don't think the scenario she presented to her SO was unrealistic. She was talking about raising BOTH of their kids, not just her own daughter as a SAHM, after all. And 6 figures is totally enough to support a family, and I knew people who did it in Jersey (a pretty expensive state). Unless you're a Kardashian, that's enough for a reasonably comfortable life.
But, yeah, I'm writing this as a woman who would be happy to have a stay-at-home spouse. I have friends where the husband stays home (no kids) and the wife works at a lucrative job. They are very happy with the set-up.
Because not all men behave in a certain way. Not all women behave in a certain way. People of both sexes like to come here and rant against the opposite sex but that's pointless because you can't say that everyone is the same or that men always do this or women always do that. There are a lot of jerk men out there who use women. I'm not disagreeing with you that some men behave in undesirable ways. To me, the definition of bitter is someone who automatically assumes the worst about everyone all the time. And you do that judging from most of your posts. Not all men are dogs.
I hate the ongoing discussion about nice guys, but there are a lot of guys out there who would treat a woman like gold, but are probably overlooked because they aren't attractive enough, confident enough, or maybe even rich enough. Women overlook these guys, then come on here and complain that all men are dogs. They aren't.
Well strawberry we will just have to agree to disagree then. Majority of the male I seen and come across behave in the exact same manners most of them display here. the same ones that posting online are the same ones offline. but some of these people claim there's a reserve of men who "aren't like that in the world." If you haven't come across them then: "you are bitter" or "you didn't try x,y,z and it's all your fault." Men over look women who aren't 'attractive enough, confident enough' but yet they are supposed to be so "understanding" and "non judgmental?" They overlook the single mothers too that probably have something to offer. But that's alright for them to do. Well, I am not a single mother but the males certainly never did me any favors, so I won't be doing them any.
I brush off 'bitter' and it's lost its affect, all it is is a label used here to describe ANY woman or man who didn't have the best circumstances and couldn't make it work. If they talk about those experiences 'they are bitter.' So I couldn't care less about 'bitter,' it's just another insult, I'll file it with all the rest I've heard. *shrugs*
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 07-10-2012 at 02:57 PM..
Originally Posted by ben242000 I also don't understand how you can just expect you to take care of your children and not work, while your bf/hubby brings in all the bank. He is essentially supporting you and your kids, while you take care of the kids you already had.
Originally Posted by ben242000 I also don't understand how you can just expect you to take care of your children and not work, while your bf/hubby brings in all the bank. He is essentially supporting you and your kids, while you take care of the kids you already had.
Quote:
This is a good point, although I think she said she has one child (not children).
Julia, arent you a SAHM?
The OP said:
Quote:
....I disagreed and said, "If we are having children, I want to stay home." Then he said I should look in the mirror because "I'm pretty, but not drop dead gorgeous and need to bring more to the table and that if I wanted to be a stay at home mom .........
At some point when will 'bitter' stop being thrown around and applied to any woman that disagrees with men and the ways in which they behave? (Soon?).
I never said just because I don't have one they don't exist. I said they don't exist in exorbitant numbers the way some of these people like to claim they do. You want to see the millions of women I'm talking, half of them are divorce statistics. Sure they had 'nice' husbands too. Now some of the way OP phrased things, leaves much to be desired but overall she is right on the point she can take care of her child herself. Men have been deemed "useless" by her on account of their own actions (or lack thereof). But that's her fault too, I guess. *shrugs* Ask them again how 'useful' single mothers are to them?
And your friends with so called 'nice' guys don't represent everyone either. But it's approved to spin it in that direction, but not the reverse isn't it?
Bitter definition as per google (in the context of life attitude):
"(of people or their feelings or behavior) Angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment."
not you huh?
Disagreeing is one thing, but when you go as far as to insult a man by telling them that even though they are a good husband to their wives that they are somehow secretly dogs makes you bitter, and doing as you always do and painting every man as being the same makes you bitter as well. Don't get me wrong though, if any one acts this way male or female, I would call them bitter not just you.
that's true cannot rep. every week it's (blank type) of woman isn't 'good enough for us.' this week it was American women far as I can tell. LOL.
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