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I really don't understand the fuss here. How does emailing someone, a computer-generated "good match" percentage and some vague plans to try to meet up mean anything concrete? In real world terms, this isn't much different than a girl you flirted with a few times at the neighborhood bar. It's not rude to not want to date someone you've never actually dated.
(Then again, I never understand when people say they are "talking to" someone, as if that's a kind of relationship).
It is interesting that now you admit that you've also ghosted on guys. Couple of weeks ago, when I answered your thread, you came down on me saying it was the "avoidance approach of a coward". You also said you'd never ghosted, that you always tell guys you are not interested. Now the truth comes out. So basically, everything you said about faders applies to you as well and you should not have gotten so outraged that someone else gave you a piece of your own medicine. I hate hypocrisy. Acting like you never ghosted, when in fact you have, is just the pinnacle.
Your words from your own thread.
Oh please. It's VERY VERY different to stop responding to e-mails from an online dating website versus falling off the face of the earth after dating someone for a month and a half. You cannot even compare those things. I've been in conversations with guys on dating websites where I stopped replying because I met someone else or I became uninterested. Do you really owe someone an explanation that you've never met in person? I don't think so. It's the nature of the online dating game.
I really don't understand the fuss here. How does emailing someone, a computer-generated "good match" percentage and some vague plans to try to meet up mean anything concrete? In real world terms, this isn't much different than a girl you flirted with a few times at the neighborhood bar. It's not rude to not want to date someone you've never actually dated.
(Then again, I never understand when people say they are "talking to" someone, as if that's a kind of relationship).
I agree with this. It sucks when you get excited to meet someone and they fade out, but until you go on a few dates there is no relationship.
Online daters of the world know how confusing/frustrating/annoying it is when someone who sounded interest in meeting has disappeared or "ghosted" with no explanation or goodbye. Rational thought turns to the saying "then they weren't interested enough or I don't want to be with someone like that anyway". But dating is hard and sometimes people get discouraged or frustrated.
My situation I'm referring to is a girl who emailed me first on OKC: we had a high match percentage and we had some good conversation through emails and phone. We were planning to meet up soon when she got back in town and now she hasnt responded for days to my call or text. I went online and noticed that she took down her dating profile. There's a chance she met someone and is pursuing that relationship, but my gut tells me that she is maybe sick of dating or she got frustrated or scared. Usually I just move on, this has happened to me a lot lately (more than usual) but it no longer bothers me anymore as I'm much more comfortable with myself to accept it.
What I'm trying to get at is that I'm thinking of texting her one last time to see if I can't change her mind about meeting and maybe even just being friends if she's not up for dating. We had a lot in common and I was looking forward to meeting her. What would you say if you were in my shoes? I'm thinking something like "hey, I realize you probably aren't interested in dating at this time but I really did enjoy talking to you and if you're open to meeting up one time as friends I am still open to the idea. Hope you're doing well."
i dont even know that you can consider your sitation being ghosted on, imho ghosted on is after a few dates or even after weeks of dating. you exchanged some messages through okc andmaybe even a few texts but tho polite i dont think that this girl owes you an explaination. sometimes you exchanage a few mesages maybe realize the convo doesn't flow like you think it should or theres just no connection and you stop messaging the person
i dont even know that you can consider your sitation being ghosted on, imho ghosted on is after a few dates or even after weeks of dating. you exchanged some messages through okc andmaybe even a few texts but tho polite i dont think that this girl owes you an explaination. sometimes you exchanage a few mesages maybe realize the convo doesn't flow like you think it should or theres just no connection and you stop messaging the person
We spoke on the phone quite a bit as well but that's not the point. My point is: WHEN DID I SAY SHE OWED ME AN EXPLANATION?
You should be grateful that this loser showed her true colors early in the game. Nowadays, stuff like "ghosting" is becoming the norm because most people out there have the social skills of elementary school children.
If I was talking to a woman and I decided that she was not for me, I would pick up the phone, call her and be like "Hey, you know what? I think you are a nice girl but this is not going to work". Wow, hard isn't it?
Imagine what this woman would be like if you were in a relationship with her!
If I was talking to a woman and I decided that she was not for me, I would pick up the phone, call her and be like "Hey, you know what? I think you are a nice girl but this is not going to work". Wow, hard isn't it?
You would call up a woman who you hadn't even met yet to tell her that she's a nice girl, but it's not going to work?
You would call up a woman who you hadn't even met yet to tell her that she's a nice girl, but it's not going to work?
No, I would just stop replying to her texts and vanish with no explanation- so that she would never know if I am dead or alive or what happened to me. What a society of losers we live in!
Oh please. It's VERY VERY different to stop responding to e-mails from an online dating website versus falling off the face of the earth after dating someone for a month and a half. You cannot even compare those things. I've been in conversations with guys on dating websites where I stopped replying because I met someone else or I became uninterested. Do you really owe someone an explanation that you've never met in person? I don't think so. It's the nature of the online dating game.
Nice try though.
Oh please, don't try to change things around. I quoted YOUR OWN WORDS. It is here for everyone on CD to see. You claimed that you never ghosted on guys. Then 2 weeks later, you admitted you did. Now you are trying to backtrack. You are a fader, and by your definition, a coward. Now, how does THAT feel?
Next time, ensure that your stuff does not stink before you start acting all high and mighty. I can't believe you have the gall to backtrack when it's all here in broad daylight.
I would respond to being ghosted by moving forward and forgetting about that person.
What is the point of getting fixated on someone who is not interested in me? I don't do stalking or stalkers. *blech*
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