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Old 07-14-2012, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Seattle
45 posts, read 50,733 times
Reputation: 35

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I was thinking about this last night, and thought I'd put this up for discussion. A number of times I've been in a fwb situation with women, and it fit the classic friendzone -- except it was a fwb-zone.

The characteristics that cause me to label this as a fwb-zone is they all told me (one way or another), that we didn't seem like long term fit potential, but it would be enjoyable to spend time together while we both kept looking -- and spending time together usually included having sex. I'm not sure exactly what it is about me that caused these women to see no "long term fit potential" -- I suspect its because I'm in my mid-40s, divorced, twice, and no kids -- probably red flags for women looking for the soul-mates and wanting lifelong stable families... they were all in their 30s when this happened... and they all eventually wanted families/kids.

The general vibe from these situations was... "we can keep doing this... until I meet the right one... if/when that becomes serious and monogamous... then we will have to stop". I can think of 3 different women I've had this situation with in the last 5-8 years.

I've also been in the more classic friendzone with a few women. We hung out together, etc... but nothing physical.

I'm starting to think that the only difference between these two groups of women, with me, was that one set was a bit more promiscuous, and the other set wasn't... but they were all friendzone situations... and I saw them all much less -- when they found their potential desired soulmates.

Thoughts?
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:36 AM
 
Location: NY
8,992 posts, read 14,192,166 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Five Lions View Post
Thoughts?
Sounds like you have it about right based on your experiences.
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:42 AM
 
5,368 posts, read 5,718,074 times
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Women more then often get placed in the FWB or sex zone and men more then often are placed in the friend zone with zero physical contact
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,675 posts, read 64,140,481 times
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The difference between the fwb zone and the friendzone is that there's no "b" in the friendzone.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:03 AM
 
629 posts, read 1,060,152 times
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Well technically friend zone is when you lack the physical contact but pretty much have everything else. They just won't acknowledge you as anything other then a friend. FWB is all about the physical contact. You're close but you can't get into the other persons heart or vice versa. They share similarities in that a relationship is kept out of reach but I'm sure most would feel the "benefits" would make a huge difference. Either making things better or worse is up to the person.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:05 AM
 
17,868 posts, read 17,073,681 times
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here comes the FWB discussion week.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Seattle
45 posts, read 50,733 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
The difference between the fwb zone and the friendzone is that there's no "b" in the friendzone.
Right... that is my point... they have a lot in common... except for that one thing: "b"

My question is more about how the people involved affect whether or not the "b" is present. Since I'm a constant factor in all of my situations... I'm looking at how to categorize the 2 different sets in my data points. So far, my hypothesis is that the group that wanted "b" were the more promiscuous women...
(note** I'm not using promiscuous as a pejorative).
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,216 posts, read 7,924,662 times
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I don't think you can generalize from the few situations you've experienced so far. You need a MUCH larger sample size for statistical relevance.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
729 posts, read 1,253,264 times
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I have that situation now. My friend and I have a good time and the sex is great, but there's no long-term potential because we want different things. I want kids, and she doesn't.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,488,660 times
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Were all of these women who you were FWB with the same type of women? Could be they just wanted to keep things casual and not get tied down. Doesn't necessarily mean they were more promiscuous than the ones who wouldn't take the friendship to the next level. There could be dozens of reasons why they didn't want a commitment with you and without knowing much about you or them, it would be almost impossible to speculate.
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