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You must date some piece-o-crap men if they let you pay for your share of the bill. I'm all for empowering women and you supporting yourself and being independant and all that..... that stuff is great, but it seems only proper -to me- that a man should pay for the date, at least the first date.
Nice to hear this, you're a gentleman, some guys don't get that.
When I was dating online, many of my first dates ended with this conversation if I let him pay the whole tab:
Me: I had a great time, we should definitely do it again!
Him: Yeah, it was great...how about drinks at my place right now?
Me: No thank you, but why don't you give me a call and we can set something up?
Him: But I paid for your dinner/drinks etc., it's the least you can do
Me:.... No. I'm going home now.
Him: Whatever, there are plenty of girls out there.
Me: Huh?
And that's the end.
Bah.
Now, it's either split it down the middle or I pay.
So when you pay your own way, they want another date then?
Does that get you a relationship?
How does it work out?
its interesting..most women have no problem and feel they should be understood ...
Letting someone take care of them while they stay home
Letting someone else pay their bills for an indefinite period
But once we turn the tables, all of a sudden theyre turned off, they can only put up with it for so long.
I guess what im asking is where does this sense of entitlement come from. Dont bring the baby arguement because women do this **** even without kids and have no issue spending cash they didnt earn
If you pay someone's bills and they are not married to you, if you support someone you are not married to, something is really wrong here.
You do all that and then complain about it? Why would you do that, if you thought it was wrong and a rip off?
So did you do pay their bills hoping they'd pay yours?
So when you pay your own way, they want another date then?
Does that get you a relationship?
How does it work out?
Nope.
But if I offer (and I ALWAYS offer)and they graciously accept am I supposed to turn around and say 'wait, just kidding!'
Or, I can just sit there silently and assume he'll pay and have him think I'm high maintenance.
I've yet to have a man say 'nooo, I'll take care of this'. Usually they grudgingly tell me they'll take care of it and I'm assuming it's because they feel they have to, not because they want to.
I do expect my husband to support the family, we have kids and I take care of EVERYTHING, he works outside the home I do everything inside the home, take care of the kids, pay bills, run the kids to everything, drs appts,, sports activities, grocery shopping, household shopping, cooking, cleaning, entertaining, planning all activities, there is so much more. I do more as a full time mom than I did working fulltime. So yes, I will use the " I take care of the kids" card. Plus, I make sure he is well taken care of. Never had any complaints, we like the way it works.
Nope.
But if I offer (and I ALWAYS offer)and they graciously accept am I supposed to turn around and say 'wait, just kidding!'
Or, I can just sit there silently and assume he'll pay and have him think I'm high maintenance.
I've yet to have a man say 'nooo, I'll take care of this'. Usually they grudgingly tell me they'll take care of it and I'm assuming it's because they feel they have to, not because they want to.
I could care less if a man thinks I am "high maintenance". I don't even care if I fit in.
I don't live my life worrying about what someone thinks.
If a man likes a woman enough to ask her out, he should be willing to pay.
If I had a man over for dinner, I wouldn't expect him to bring a roast.
its interesting..most women have no problem and feel they should be understood ...
Letting someone take care of them while they stay home
Letting someone else pay their bills for an indefinite period
But once we turn the tables, all of a sudden theyre turned off, they can only put up with it for so long.
I guess what im asking is where does this sense of entitlement come from. Dont bring the baby arguement because women do this **** even without kids and have no issue spending cash they didnt earn
Who gives them the cash?
If I gave someone cash, I would expect them to spend it.
I've never spent more than $30 on a purse. The only 'luxury' thing I have is a Coach wallet that I got as a gift for helping someone fix their plane.
$500 is far too much money to spend on something as frivolous as a purse.... that could put me in the air for almost 3 hours... I'll take flying over a bag.
Nope.
But if I offer (and I ALWAYS offer)and they graciously accept am I supposed to turn around and say 'wait, just kidding!'
Or, I can just sit there silently and assume he'll pay and have him think I'm high maintenance.
I've yet to have a man say 'nooo, I'll take care of this'. Usually they grudgingly tell me they'll take care of it and I'm assuming it's because they feel they have to, not because they want to.
Jesus, really? Where do you live??? This seems more of a rule where you are instead an exception to the rule. I have come across very few men who let me pay even half, and even rarer will they do it begrudgingly. Most insist. If they didn't I'd feel that they were cheap or out for a piece. Which seems to be exactly what you've encountered! Oh brother. Of course you can still encounter this with a guy insisting on paying...but I have never had a guy make me feel obligated to "pay him back". Wooooooow. Guess I've been lucky!
I always offer at least half. I think only 2 guys in my dating adventures ever took me up on it though. However if the guy really likes me but is in a rock and a hard place with finances and otherwise we have a great connection, I'll consider going dutch. I refuse to front the entire bill on a first date. Hell, that's only reserved for boyfriend territory to me.
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Oh brother. Of course you can still encounter this with a guy insisting on paying...but I have never had a guy make me feel obligated to "pay him back". Wooooooow. Guess I've been lucky!