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Old 07-17-2012, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Asheville, Nc
3,774 posts, read 2,142,316 times
Reputation: 2499
Default Wanting those who hurt you to hurt themselves.

Why is it that we won't others to hurt when they hurt us? It is just human nature to want them to feel what we're feeling? Just so we know that they care capeable of having feelings? Am I alone in this? Or do we want to know that we're not suffering alone?
Yes, I am venting on a public fourm so deal with it.
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Old 07-17-2012, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Pa
31,834 posts, read 17,081,562 times
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Getting even is my forte. Lol

Or karma.
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Old 07-17-2012, 06:52 PM
 
5,074 posts, read 2,286,227 times
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I dont for the most part, depending on the situation of course. I remember some time ago, this girl broke up with me for some BS minor reason, and felt so about how shallow the reason was that she NEEDED me to be an ahole back to her and insult her, so she could justify her own actions. Instead, I packed my bags, told her how wonderful she was and told her everything i loved about her. I then wished her good luck and told her that she will make some man very happy one day. She was so pissed she could hardly contained herself. I know, because we met some years later and had a chuckle about it.
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Old 07-17-2012, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,303 posts, read 51,805,415 times
Reputation: 35477
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Why is it that we won't others to hurt when they hurt us? It is just human nature to want them to feel what we're feeling? Just so we know that they care capeable of having feelings? Am I alone in this? Or do we want to know that we're not suffering alone?
Yes, I am venting on a public fourm so deal with it.
Like wounded animals, humans can sometimes lash out ferociously when they are hurting.

It's animalistic behavior at its most primitive.

But as the highest form of evolved animal, most humans eventually come to understand that hurting others won't lessen our own pain in any way.

People who have watched their loved ones killers go to the electric chair are often surprised to discover they get no relief, no satisfaction when the murderer dies.

So, while it is perfectly natural to want the one who hurt you most to be hurt in the most awful way possible, the reality is we have to use all our many gifts (reason, logic, compassion, faith, intelligence) to accept that only we can deal with and heal the great pain that has been inflicted on us.

And that has to happen internally - not through external means.

I wish you much success in dealing and healing.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:27 AM
 
Location: ON, Canada
4,349 posts, read 1,950,372 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Why is it that we won't others to hurt when they hurt us? It is just human nature to want them to feel what we're feeling? Just so we know that they care capeable of having feelings? Am I alone in this? Or do we want to know that we're not suffering alone?
Yes, I am venting on a public fourm so deal with it.
When my ex-husband first left, and then I subsequently found out he was cheating, I had such a variety of emotions, and verbally lashed out at him every chance I got. I wanted him to hurt as much as he hurt me, without a doubt.

I know that the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. I am completely indifferent when he contacts me now. I would be worried about myself if he still provoked feelings of anger in me, because then i'd know my feelings about the situation haven't been resolved. A few of my friends don't understand how I can even speak to him after what happened, but I truly don't care. It doesn't faze me, it's a blip on the radar and then I go on about my day without a second thought. (And let me also add, I never thought I'd get to this point.)

I think it may be human nature to want the people that hurt us to feel hurt as well. One of the toughest things to accept is that they probably will be hurt at some point, but we won't ever know about it. With my ex, I hear all the time about how karma "got him", so maybe that's contributed to my being able to move on...that his actions have had major consequences in his life.

Wishing you peace and resolution in your journey.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,303 posts, read 51,805,415 times
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As Benjamin Franklin said, "Pain instructs"

Sometimes the biggest lessons we learn in life come from the deepest pain.

The trick is to not let the pain kill you first.
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Old 07-18-2012, 08:49 AM
 
4,158 posts, read 2,328,725 times
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It's a maturity thing. In high school I probably felt that way, but really not since then.
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Old 07-18-2012, 09:06 AM
 
Location: US
5,148 posts, read 4,769,479 times
Reputation: 5122
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Why is it that we won't others to hurt when they hurt us? It is just human nature to want them to feel what we're feeling? Just so we know that they care capeable of having feelings? Am I alone in this? Or do we want to know that we're not suffering alone?
Yes, I am venting on a public fourm so deal with it.

I think that usually happens when someone has been conditioned to accept abuse.

I say destroy what destroys you. You can do that just by ditching.

Revenge takes time. Time takes its own revenge on people like that.

I prefer making life failure predictions for a good old fashion private schadenfreuden chortle when the news comes around of the failure or someone else taking revenge.

I am way too lazy for revenge myself.
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Old 07-18-2012, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
14,243 posts, read 11,129,268 times
Reputation: 12917
I'm usually the opposite. I'll almost always stand up for myself in the situation, but when it's all over I don't want to see anyone get hurt or have bad things happen to them.
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Old 07-18-2012, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,516 posts, read 13,508,696 times
Reputation: 4524
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
Why is it that we won't others to hurt when they hurt us? It is just human nature to want them to feel what we're feeling? Just so we know that they care capeable of having feelings? Am I alone in this? Or do we want to know that we're not suffering alone?
Yes, I am venting on a public fourm so deal with it.
Maybe human nature if still in kindergarten.
My thought was always that I cared for them once, why wish ill on someone I once liked.
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